Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

[Titsntats]

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

How did she manage to take a photo? When I went with my DD to choose her dress,, photo taking was banned in all of the boutiques we went to - and we went to at least a dozen.
So she must have been extra sneaky to take a photo - let alone post it on social media and tag your fiance. Sounds like she has an ulterior motive. Does she have history with your fiance? Is she jealous?

She would no longer be my bridesmaid for doing that

Do not sack her. DO NOT SACK HER!
You will still look beautiful with a few minor tweaks. Now obviously she will require a few alterations to her look too to complete the new look.

Allow us MNetters to help you chose.

May I suggest 162 Ugly Bridesmaid Dresses on Pinterest.

And, of course, as she has no qualms about photos being spread far and wide on FB for all to see, you may wish to post many of her on your big day and tag away.

www.pinterest.com/nancydallapiazz/ugly-bridesmaid-dresses/

Wow, if she behaves like this before the wedding I dread to think what other tricks she will pull in the future. Her showing no remorse would would fill me with worry I’m afraid.

That is awful!

I agree that it was a horrible thing to do. I think I'd be inclined to hear her apology and explanation before I threw away a long friendship, but I'd be telling her I wanted her to step down as bridesmaid because you don't feel like you could trust her not to ruin surprise parts of the wedding by sharing them).

I would secretly change the dress or alter it in some way (add vintage belt or bolero or or whatever is your personal preference). The fact your dh has seen it would really spoil it. Write her a letter and send someone else around for the bridesmaid dress.

OK, just seen she actually tagged your fiance in it.
I was practically laid down I was that relaxed as a bride, but bloody HELL.
Just why would you do that?! That's even worse!

Before you sack her I'd see her face to face and get the photo (& any others she may have sneaked) permanently deleted. I think she's beyond jealous and has let this cloud her judgement. I agree with the other posters that once you are "jacked up" (in Say Yes to the Dress parlance) you will take your appearance on the big day to a whole other level. What a pity she won't be there to see it

Oh im with @CorBlimeyGovenor
Lets surprise her with a brand new Bridesmaid Dress, one that is "That" special she will have her own photos all day with no one else to share the limelight!

@CorBlimeyGovenor - some of the dresses on that link are unspeakable.

I did notice French and Saunders in flouncy puce taffeta, that I am sure OversharingBitchBridesmaid would look lovely in!

I'd have her dress taken in very slightly. Just enough to be really uncomfortable.

Or even just enough for her not to be able to do it up. Mwhahaha!

This is unbelievable behaviour and absolutely everyone knows it's unacceptable.

Following on from your other posts, it does seem as if your bridesmaid was acting jealously with her snide comments but ruining the surprise for your husband and father is spiteful and frankly disgusting behaviour that I certainly couldn't get past if it had happened to me.

I hope you just tell her frankly why she is not going to the wedding when you feel upto - no need to be polite about it. I hope she realises that she has pretty much lost a ten year friendship because due to her jealousy and that she learns to become a better friend after this.

Definitely wise to take a sack her as a friend as she's bound to find other ways to make your life a bit unpleasant.

I feel so sorry for you, OP, but the most important thing is that you will look absolutely beautiful and whatever she has done won't take away the fact that you feel gorgeous in your chosen dress. Nothing is the same as seeing a wedding dress in person so your husband and dad will undoubtedly be stunned when they see you for the first time, especially your husband when you walk down the aisle. Good luck and congratulations for the wedding - I hope you have a wonderful day 😊

@Honeyroar her responses afterwards says enough about what she thinks of the friendship? The fiancé will forget it in five minutes, she forgot it's meant to be private (BS) etc. It's a pretty shocking level of nonchalance and deflection.

Think this is quite eye catching 😂

Delighted by the BM dresses that look like curtains! Research the curtain fabric at the venue - maybe you could camouflage her...

I'd have her dress taken in very slightly. Just enough to be really uncomfortable.

Brilliant! 😂😂

That's a really shitty thing to do and I'd sack her.

As for your DH2B and DF, when they see you on the day in the dress with your hair and make up done, believe me it will be as if they are seeing if for the first time.

Wow this is soooo absolutely unbelievable. What on earth was she thinking ?!

If you told her afterwards then she should’ve been very apologetic if she did this by mistake... but I can’t understand who would do this by mistake....

Wowww

I would be really annoyed at the fact she'd posted it up on facebook, just because well, it is a shitty thing to do! However, I wouldn't be too worried about whether my DH or father had seen it. I went away to America to get married and my husband saw my wedding dress before we got married because I had to hang it up in the room we were sharing. I didn't even think about it tbh and it in no way spoiled it for us. You will look even more amazing in the dress on your wedding day so your husband and father will still be blown away.

Surely everybody knows that the dress is a carefully guarded secret until the day of the wedding - especially from the groom . I’d ‘sack her ‘ and consider a new dress although I’m totally with you on keeping it .

sorry not read entire thread,
Me! I'd show her this thread..
maybe then she'll see what a bitch she's been

If she'd done that to me, my husband would probably have messaged her back telling her what a cow she was. Get him to ask her on FB why the fuck she did that and how little he appreciated it knowing you'd asked her not to.