Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

[Titsntats]

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

I'm the least bridezilla possible but this is so far over the line I'd be absolutely furious. No one can think its acceptable to share a photo on social media of you in your dress before the wedding.

This was a bitchy thing to do and there can be no question that this was done deliberately and spitefully.

EVERYONE knows that it is conventionally bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the big day. Tagging him was a way to try to upset you I think.

I'd totally back off from that friendship and I wouldn't invite her to the wedding.

She did whaaaaaat? Words fail honestly what a liberty

I would be RAGING

In the meantime, unfriend her on FB (and if she’s friends with your partner, see if he’ll do the same). At least that way she won’t be able to repost the same picture or any others tagging you. You can also set your privacy settings to stop any posts tagging you from automatically going onto your time line, which is what I do.

What a bitch. Yanbu. I whole sack her as a bridesmaid.

Your friend is either really silly, or very malicious. If you had stated that you wanted it to be a surprise, their really is no excuse what so ever for her to be posting it on facebook and tagging your partner as well.

Keep your distance, she doesn't sound like a friend, let alone qualify to be given such an important role in your wedding as bridesmaid.

Regardless of this, it's your day and you will look beautiful.

Has your fiancé seen the post? If he has what did he say?

Does she have any history with your fiancé? Cos that's the most common reason for wedding sabotage........

Sorry your friend has done this to your OP. I am not into big weddings etc but can respect those that are. You are not being precious at all and I cannot think of a single acceptable reason/excuse for her behaviour.

She's your friend of 20 years. Talk to her, do not let her minimise it with feeble excuses, let her know how upset you are and tell her you don't want her there. Wear your dress, a photo is different from real life and it will still be a surprise/emotional for your stbh and father to see you wearing it. Ask for the bridesmaid dress etc back. Do you have another friend who can step in?

To be blunt, I'd tell her to go fuck herself. What a selfish, calculated act. Weddings seem to bring out strange emotions in people. I had to sack of one of my bridesmaids and lost her as a friend due to her crazy self indulgent behaviour throughout the whole bridesmaid process. I did try to make it as easy as possible for her overcoming every single objection or problem along the way, but she just pushed me too far. Really sad but some people just show their true colors during processes like this 😕

I would try and change the dress if possible and not tell a soul. Is dying it an option? I would go to the bridal shop and beg for help explaining what happened. I realise I'm going against the grain with this one though so sorry if that's not what you want to hear. I got a stunning unique dress off ebay for £80 so missed the whole trying on dresses experience. I'm sorry your friend has simply shat all over it for you 😡

Whatever happens, you will be a beautiful bride and your husband to be will be delighted and surprised at your bridal look. Sorry you have had to go through this, I hope you can find peace with it all somehow 🥰

What a bitch!!! I'm so angry on your behalf! That's such a nasty, spiteful thing to do. I can't understand why anyone would do that as everyone knows how a bride feels about keeping her dress secret.

How stupid of her.

Agree - send her a link to this thread. There are so many bridezillas around, but you seem lovely and it's such a shame.

I really laid back about weddings but this would piss me off. The fact that she won’t even remove it now speaks volumes.

She is not your friend. If she is this jealous and vindictive before the wedding imagine how she will be on the day?

Do you honestly thing she won’t pull some similar fuckery on the day? Or even make comments that make you feel not your best?
Ditch her from your wedding and from your life. Friends build you up not break promises.

I'm glad she won't be at your wedding. I don't think that's an over-reaction: you want people around who are happy for you.

I wouldn't worry about the dress, or about new accessories. You'll have your hair & make-up done, you'll have your flowers - & you'll have that special 'something' that happens on the day. You'll look amazing. And everybody will see you looking amazing.

Who has paid for her bridesmaid dress and shoes?
Please tell me she did.

If you paid, make sure you get them back before /when you dump her.

She sounds jealous - I'm sorry x

@Titsntats am I right in thinking she asked to come with you to your fitting? Could this whole thing be premeditated? Whatever, it is a nasty thing for her to do and I wouldn't have her anywhere near the wedding, God knows what else she might do!

Omg I feel so so angry for you. I'd sack her and uninvite her from the wedding but that's just me!

I can’t believe that someone would do that. Everyone knows that you don’t see the dress until the day(unless the bride chooses to show it to people).
Sounds to me like it is malicious, she’s jealous.

Sack her and tell her she’s not invited by text. Block her number, remove her from social media and don’t give her another thought. It was an evil, spiteful thing to do. I hope you can get past it and I’m sure you will look amazing.

OP has she got form for being completely ignorant in general!!!?? Posting a photo of your wedding dress...before the wedding...just don’t know what to say apart from you’re definitely not being unreasonable!

Awful behaviour, how dare she do that to you.

I think you mean ex-bridesmaid, don't you? What a nasty cow!
Please try not to be upset as I'm sure you'll blow your husband-to-be and dad away when they see you in the flesh!