Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

[Titsntats]

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

So how did she take being 'sacked'?

Wtf?!?! Why would someone do that!!! I would go mad

ScreamingValenta, you’re not getting it. It’s not just about the dress and the OP’s fiancé and dad seeing it. It’s about someone she has been friends with for a long time, and is very close to, doing something she knew the OP absolutely didn’t want to happen. Something she knew would hurt the OP. Having a friend do something like that, no matter what the actual details are, is horrible.

Oh @ScreamingValenta pipe down.

There’s always one tedious bore who just has to be different, isn’t there?

Of the “I think people should get married in a burlap sack with their faces disguised lest anyone feel like celebrating” variety.

@Titsntats listen: you will be beautiful on the day and the dress will look totally different when you’re glammed up. I promise.

She didn’t do this by accident. She’s not a MN poster desperate to be different from the masses. She knew it wasn’t ok.

Whether you sack her as bridesmaid or not, she crossed a massive line. Especially with her behaviour afterwards.

She’s not worth spoiling your day over!

That being said; this thread is absolute gold dust for “press” and “journalists”. I use those terms very lightly for the brainless idiots that lift this shit. So be prepared for it to pop up on social media.

Enjoy your day! Don’t give friendzilla what she wants.

Of the “I think people should get married in a burlap sack with their faces disguised lest anyone feel like celebrating” variety.

How on earth did you extrapolate that from my post?

OP I'm glad she's not going to be a BM. What she's done is bad enough, but I'd be on pins wondering what she was going to do on the day.

With the benefit of hindsight it was suspicious that she was so desperate to come with you to the fitting to 'see the dress'.

I'd be raging and she would no longer be bridesmaid.

Wow. She isn’t a good friend. I hope you can find different accessories to go with the dress. As someone else said, with your hair and make-up done on the day you will look different to the picture she posted.

Sack her, she doesn't deserve to be part of your day.

Your husband and dad will have seen you in a white dress, they'll have taken no notice of the detailing so when the day comes and you walk up the aisle looking resplendent, they will still be blown away

Don't let this spoil your day xx

ScreamingValenta It was your comments that people were being hyperbolic around the dress, Obviously it’s just a dress and not as important as the marriage but the traditions and celebrations are a familiar and expected part of being married.
Of course if the bride and groom just strolled in and out of the registry office in normal garb there would be no need for any of the gazillion threads on here.

Sack bridesmaid. Get different dress. What a bitch!

Allhailthesun

I haven't suggested that no one should have a special wedding dress, just that the language many posters are using to talk about this event is over the top and can't possibly be conducive to helping the OP move on from this and enjoy her day.

I find it alarming that someone putting a photo on Facebook, and then taking it down, can generate this level of hysteria in a supposedly civilised society.

Have you actually told her she is no longer welcome at the wedding?

I went back and read @ScreamingValenta post, expecting her to be cheerleading the bridesmaid

And all she does is suggest moderation in all the name calling.

Fair enough. When our children have been badly hurt by another child we wouldn’t encourage them to start name calling whilst telling you what happened, would we? It doesn’t help, generally just adds fuel to the fire

Don't worry OP you will look so much different on your wedding day when you are all dolled up ! Your "mate" is a grade A bitch. Sadly I have seen similar shitty behaviour from other bridesmaids before. Pure jealousy. She should be ashamed of herself! I hope you ditch her !

But seriously OP I really feel for you

I hope she actually took the photo down.
My advice would be:
If she took the photo down, explain how much she hurt your feelings and ask for a direct apology. Accept it enjoy your day.

If she did not take the photo down, explain how much she had hurt your feelings and spoilt your plans. Remove her from the bridal party, let her deal with her hurt feelings. Alone.

I’m sure your dad will have his socks knocked off when he sees you in the dress, all dads do!
And your future husband will be beyond joyful when he sees ‘you’ not the dress on your special day.

Please try to forgive, so that you can move on, something always goes not to plan where weddings are concerned!!
Have a wonderful day xx

She's a spiteful jealous bitch.
Op honestly it will look totally different on the day.
Out of interest did no-one comment on the photo telling her to take it the fuck down.
Block delete and have nothing more to do with her. Make sure you tell her why too.

I'm shocked anyone who professed to be a friend would do this. What a horrible thing to do.

I'm very relaxed about this stuff, and the surprise would not be a big deal to me (I don't think it is to any guest either tbh) but the fact is the BM knew it was important to you and that alone makes her vile for doing this.

I hope you have sacked her from the wedding.

this is her only error, I wouldn't be throwing away a ten year old friendship away over it

This was a really nasty thing to do to a friend who had specifcally said she wanted her dress to be a surprise to her Dad and her fiance. And then wasn't really sorry. I wouldnt want someone like that as a friend!

That is a truly awful thing to do. You are far calmer than me. How old is the bridesmaid? 12?!

I'm totally meh about weddings (I was the girl aged 5 drawing spaceships while my mates were drawing brides outside churches) and even I'd be raging if someone did this to me. Surely everyone knows that bride's dresses are not revealed till the day? It can only have been malice on her part. Glad you've sacked her, and fear not, you will look gorgeous on the day and your fiancé will be blown away by how good you look.

I would be furious!

However I just wanted to say your DF and your DD will be blown away on the day when they see you. When you have your hair, makeup etc am done you will look amazing and feel even better than you did choosing your dress. Please do not let this take away from the wedding excitement

I am with ScreamingValenta with people working themselves up into a frenzy over a first world problem.

You'd think the bridesmaid killed someone.