To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

[calamityJayne1]

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

YANBU to dislike gratuitous criticisms of your dog or dogs in general. However, YABU to resent all requests to have your dog in a separate room. People may be afraid of dogs (it's a common phobia, and sometimes has roots in bad experiences), or even be medically allergic to them. You can't expect everyone to love dogs.

When I was a kid, there was not the hysteria surrounding dogs there is now

Dogs used to be pets. They used to be walked in the mornings and the evenings. They were not usually allowed in cafes and shops, so if you didn't like them, you didn't tend to come across them unless you were visiting someone with a dog. And as mentioned they were considered pets rather than part of the family or the cringe-worthy "fur-baby".

That's why there is such a divide now because those who don't like dogs have to deal with them constantly. Where I live it isn't such an issue. But where my mum lives in Devon it is noticeable how many dogs there are and they are everywhere in shops and cafes. I'd happily pay good money to go to a cafe where they are not allowed but I bet nobody would dare. You get enough abuse if you ban children but banning fur-babies?

Anyway to get back to the OP's original post - if you run a business, you run it for the benefit of your clients (and to make money, obvs). Clients should not have to deal with your kids or your pets, unless they want to.

mathanxiety you seem to want to pick on my posts constantly, even if it has no basis in fact.

I said that neither of these dogs are scary or threatening. Some chihuahuas may not be friendly, but the one in question is extremely so. Surely, as someone that claims to know so much about dogs, you would know that dogs are individuals.

Real lack of empathy from the OP.

How can you not realise that some people simply don't like dogs, or are scared of them? Particularly when they're jumping up and barking?

I had no idea there were so many people who dislike or are scared of dogs

Really? How odd. I can't stand dogs and will do everything I can to avoid contact with them, crossing the street if necessary and avoiding visiting anywhere I know I'll have to share space with them.

It's impossible to avoid the buggers completely, but I do my best.

Sounds like a poorly trained dog - labs aren't barky dogs. Train it to pick up a soft toy when people arrive as stops the barking and is much less threatening

Op, do you have neighbours ? If so poor them

Late to the thread but with your attitude very soon you won't have a business to worry about. Not sure of your line of work, but you sound massively unprofessional. And actually I think you're the 'snowflake'.

I loathe dogs, i find them repulsive. And I am entitled to feel that way. It's unlikely I'd be using your services if you failed to respect that.

I loathe dogs, i find them repulsive

ODFOD

Am I being unreasonable to think that you are all going snowflake here? I understand that many cultures don't like dogs. I can hoist in a general consensus that some cultures think dogs are grubby. (Mine is not to be allowed in clean white space after a walk, for sure, unless you want to wash the floor and walls.)

But the terror being expressed is STUPID beyond belief. If you are talking about a family pet; I specifically exclude from my post the sort of fighting dog that young bloods parade as a weapon in dodgy areas with gangs. In the country we have dogs as companions, help mates (for hearing and seeing), for work (to round up sheep or drive cattle) and yes, because there is not yet a better way to help a person control vermin than a well trained, obedient dog and an air rifle. My dog would not come within several feet of you, unless you invited her. She returns to me with a single whistle call from hundreds of metres. She does bark when someone comes to the house, but welcomes them in. I spend hours with tourists every year trying to explain that dogs are not generally to be feared, only to be respected. You can't treat them as teddies and cuddly toys, because they should be working animals. And their work is varied.

I like dogs but I am really scared of my neighbour's Staffordshire bull terrier as it barks whenever someone knocks the door. I think he's a big softie with their children but he sounds so aggressive and he looks so powerful. I dread coming home and him being outside because the neighbour's chatting on the door step.

I loathe fashion dogs, and staffies are fashionable with louts who want to scare people. An elderly infirm lady I know and see walking regularly, with a rehomed staff, thinks he's the soppiest dog ever, and he is. She's nearly 80, with rebuilt hips and not strong anymore; her control comes from training and voice commands. So it can be done.

hibbledibble you keep on addressing your posts to me, and they are full of nonsense so I feel obliged to correct.

Your last post is no exception:
I said that neither of these dogs are scary or threatening. Some chihuahuas may not be friendly, but the one in question is extremely so. Surely, as someone that claims to know so much about dogs, you would know that dogs are individuals.

But all dogs of specific breeds look pretty much alike.
How hard is this for you to understand?

Child of four sees your chihuahua and recognises the size and shape of the dog who chased him across the park yipping furiously while showing its teeth while its owner shouted something stupid about the dog wanting to make friends - being a smart child he wants nothing more to do with anything that looks like a chihuahua. Or a chihuahua owner.

Or maybe it was a lurcher who chased someone. They tend to chase, being sight hounds, and they are fast. Sadly there are dog owners who think it's ok to let their dogs off lead and they end up getting a bad reputation.

In other words, your dogs are only as good as the last dogs of that size and shape that people have encountered. I'm not sure why you can't understand that your dogs' special individual qualities are not known to everyone you cross paths with while out and about. It seems to me there is an empathy lapse or even a common sense lapse there on your part. Or maybe it's a failure of the imagination.

Surely the incredibly obvious and simple solution is that you do just shut your dog away when you are expecting people?

Or maybe it was a lurcher who chased someone. They tend to chase, being sight hounds, and they are fast.

Sight hounds chase small prey, i.e. squirrels, rabbits ect...not children

OP, you made the mistake of posting a dog thread on AIBU. The mumsnetters on here hate dogs and relish at the opportunity to slag them and the owners off. Next time post on the doghouse where you will get constructive responses based on people who actually read your post instead of twist it for their own agendas.

At no point did OP say her dog jumped, licked, sniffed, growled or any of the other behaviors PPs have assumed, the dog barked at the doorbell and then stopped within seconds. Hardly worthy of the hysteria on here.

We've all been to peoples' houses where they've got a dog that maybe comes over to quietly sniff near visitors shoes, doesn't cause any problem whatsoever, and then quietly slinks off.

And we've all been to somebody's houses where the dog rushes visitors, barks a lot, licks at people, maybe jumps up at them and is generally in their face and giving them something to avoid unless they want paws/slobber on them. Until the owner shuts them away in another room.

If could be, OP, that loads of your visitors are arseholes and are making a problem where none really exists.
Or it could be that your dog is a teensy bit like dog B.

Of course you are being unreasonable. One person's "playful" is another person's nightmare scenario.

It is not a mental health issue not to like dogs - these are entirely normal people coming to your home who - surprise, surprise! - do not want to be barked at, jumped at, slobbered over etc. Why should they be asked to tolerate this?

As this thread shows, it is not just "anti-dog" people who are saying you are being unreasonable, but also responsible dog owners.

No, you’re not being unreasonable. It’s yours and your dogs house. If I went to someone’s house and didn’t like their child, I wouldn’t ask them to lock it away in a room before my visit! 😂

This thread is hilarious. Almost immediately after GreytExpectations says:

At no point did OP say her dog jumped, licked, sniffed, growled or any of the other behaviors PPs have assumed, the dog barked at the doorbell and then stopped within seconds. Hardly worthy of the hysteria on here.

Mishappening posts:

these are entirely normal people coming to your home who - surprise, surprise! - do not want to be barked at, jumped at, slobbered over etc. Why should they be asked to tolerate this?

Hilarious. Has almost distracted me from all the dog hate.

I have a lovely cavalier but before I open the door to expected visitors I shut her in the kitchen. They come to see me not my dog!

No you’re not being unreasonable. It’s yours and your dogs house.

Are you missing the fact that its also her business and its clients and thier children who are complaining about being barked at when they go in the house? Would you like to be greeted by a barking dog every time you went to Tescos? They are paying her for a service she should show a bit of consideration if they do not like her dog barking at them. Deliberately upsetting your customers isnt isn't a good business model!
She obviously knows when clients are going to arrive all she needs to do is put the dog in another room first not wait till its annoyed the customer then put it away! It's not rocket science.

It comes down to perception.

One person's "he's just daft/playful" is another person's problem. Dog owners become a little immune to a bit of dog spit on their hands/clothes or in your face behaviour. They sometimes don't really notice it, or don't imagine it could be a problem.

I think a good rule of thumb is "if you wouldn't want a person doing it to you, don't let your dog do it to other people".

If you visited someone's house and their lodger dashed over to you and shouted in you face, or came over and licked you, or dribbled on your clothes... that wouldn't really be on, would it?
Is this dog doing that sort of thing? Don't know. But if it is then the comments will be plentiful and well justified IMO.

So true Medievalist! Its actual comedy gold to see all the dog haters getting riled up over their own assumptions of the OPs dog. Love how nobody has bothered actually reading and comprehending the original post. Hey, anything to slag off dogs right?

shouted in you face, or came over and licked you, or dribbled on your clothes... that wouldn't really be on, would it?

Well, no it wouldnt be. But thats ok because this is not what the OP said happened

Sight hounds chase small prey, i.e. squirrels, rabbits ect...not children

LOL. Children are sometimes sent out to walk their own small dogs around here. Yorkies, wiener dogs, small prey...