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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

444 replies

calamityJayne1 · 14/06/2019 19:03

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

OP posts:
Gth1234 · 15/06/2019 23:12

YABU

dogs can be irritating and jump up people. They shouldn't be in with you and your clients. They are likely to bark at visitors, especially when they aren't allowed in, but I don't suppose there is much you can do about that.

Jaxhog · 15/06/2019 23:19

Have you considered that people comment becuase it's obvious you have a dog around? i.e. it still barks, your house smells of dog etc.? If you put it away before they came, it's well trained and your house is clean, how would they even know?

JerryGiraffe · 15/06/2019 23:28

OP I totally get where you're coming from. I wouldn't like people coming to my house and telling me how to live and making me change how I live to suit them. I get people nor liking a barking dog and despite a few stupid comments I read earlier, I think that if your dog is a guard dog it should bark when people first come. However, it should stop when you tell him/her too. It sounds like he might benefit from being desensitized and trained so he alerts you when people come but stops on your command. It might be the compromise you need? I don't like snowflakes either! 😁x

Mummadeeze · 15/06/2019 23:31

Be more empathetic and understanding that some people have had bad experiences and are frightened of dogs. I was attacked by a Rottweiler as a teen and also witnessed my sister being attacked by a pack of dogs. Do you not understand why I wouldn’t really trust dogs I don’t know. If it barked at me, I would be scared.

deifersmum · 15/06/2019 23:33

Probably goung to stir a few people with this but I'm with you on this. It's his house why should he be put out of the room, I agree some training would probably stop the barking and settle him but it's his house your rules, if visitors don't like it they have the option of leaving, and yes I have two big dogs who are introduced to viaitors on arrival and they settle quicker if allowed to stay in the company than if they are put out. I would suggest a bit of training but imo you are nub xxx

TapasForTwo · 15/06/2019 23:37

I grew up with dogs, and quite like them. I don't have a problem with a dog barking at the doorbell. I don't like dogs jumping up at me though. I'm not afraid of them, I just don't like dogs jumping on me.

I am baffled that someone who runs a business from home is prepared to risk alienating clients because her dog is more important than keeping clients happy. I have a sales and marketing background, and it is ingrained in me that the customer is King.

I also don't understand the love me love my dog attitude. I adore cats, and when we had cats and had a visitor round who didn't like them I simply shut them away.

Untamedtoad · 15/06/2019 23:40

My dogs bark and jump up when people come over. No amount of training will stop them doing it, so if I'm expecting guests, they just get shut in the spare room. If it's old friends who are used to them, and don't mind, the dogs can stay, but newer people (especially with kids) the dogs always get shut away. I don't expect anyone to put up with being barked at, jumped at, and having to "say hello" to my dogs if they don't want to. I love my dogs, but completely understand why other people wouldn't! If you aren't a dog person, and a large hyperactive dog is barking at you and hassling you for attention, it's going to get very annoying, very quickly.

Lizzie48 · 15/06/2019 23:42

But would someone who is running a business from her home not be concerned about losing her clients because she's taken offence at some of them not liking her dog?? It's not as if they're friends or family. Why should it upset her if they don't like her dog? Why should it upset her to shut it away before the client arrives, thus not giving them the opportunity to complain?

Once the client has gone, presumably after an hour, her dog will have the run of the house again.

corythatwas · 15/06/2019 23:46

I like dogs. I also (unusually for a MNer) tend to like other people's children.

But if I was visiting a venue on business I would NOT expect somebody's child to be allowed to jump up and shout in my face. (In fact, I wouldn't be happy about that even if I was visiting socially.)

It's not that I'm scared of children: it would just seem really unprofessional and rude not to try to prevent that if you had a suspicion it might happen.

caringcarer · 16/06/2019 00:04

We love our two dogs to bits. However If i know someone is coming we put them in another room until we find out if they are happy with dogs as our girls bark sometimes. If they are happy we let them into lounge again if not they stay in kitchen until visitors gone. If visitors are for me my dh will takes the girls out for a walk and I will do same if he has visitors who do not like dogs. Some people are genuinely afraid of dogs and Labradors although a gentle breed, some people may not realise this, you must realise they are quite large dogs.

lilypoppet · 16/06/2019 00:51

One of the reasond I don't like visiting MIL is as soon as you stand on the doorstep the three dogs start barking. My heart sinks. There's all this commotion inside and then she answers literrally holding one by ots collar as it tries to pounce. Who wants that?

BackBoiler · 16/06/2019 01:54

@HavelockVetinari Grin

BackBoiler · 16/06/2019 01:56

She hasn't got a business, it's her friends that hate it! Shes using this facade to gain sides but tbh if it was business related she would please clients surely

CSIblonde · 16/06/2019 04:38

I like dogs but jumping & loud barking for 10mins every time they see someone is annoying & can lead to people feeling intimidated. My friends giant poodle has nearly knocked toddlers & frail elderly people over in the past by jumping and placing paws on their chest etc & she's laughed & done the 'he's playful' thing. To me, it's not on & I'd be mortified if iymt was my dog. A well trained dog should be interested, tail wagging & that's it. I think you either do some remedial training round visitors or respect your clients more & have him out of the way.

k1233 · 16/06/2019 07:28

Teach it some cool tricks. My staffy looked a little intimidating for kids, so he had tonnes of tricks we'd trot out, the favourite always being shoot him and he'd die.

Also teach proper greeting manners. Dog is by your side at heel, sits and drops. Guest walks in, if they don't want to pat the dog it stays at drop in the heel position.

Alternative is you must know when these people are coming. Before you open the door, put the dog somewhere it won't be a nuisance.

Shequakes · 16/06/2019 07:29

She hasn't got a business, it's her friends that hate it! Shes using this facade to gain sides but tbh if it was business related she would please clients surely

She has, and is quite happy, to drop clients.

Maybe she is lying about the business. But it being a business makes it more complicated. If it was just friends, surely the answer would be 'see them outside your home'.

BackBoiler · 16/06/2019 07:38

@shequakes I just cant get my head around why she would risk the business.

FaveNumberIs2 · 16/06/2019 07:38

You say that "visitors" don't like your dog but due to your "work", adults and children come to your home.

So, if you had an office, would you take the dog with you??

If you have CLIENTS/CUSTOMERS coming to your home for business purposes, then they have every right not to be bothered by your pets, if your work was in a purpose built place away from the home, odds are they would never even come across your dog.

Family and personal friends who come to see you and are nothing to do with your business, should - of course - accept your dog in your home, it's his home too. And if they don't like it, then they should invite you to their house.

Personally, if I was coming to you for a business purpose, and staying any length of time, I'd ask for a dog free environment too, as 1) I'm not keen on strange dogs, 2) they spend their life sniffing every part of me because I have a cat who loves to be near me whenever he can and regularly covers me in hair/his scent, and 3) the cat would go nuts when I returned home with a new smell.

AloneLonelyLoner · 16/06/2019 07:39

The daftness of your dog is only ok and cute for you. Other people find it annoying and probably scary. Train your goddamn dog. I'm sure the people who hate your dog will gladly not visit you in future so it's a win all round.

Babdoc · 16/06/2019 07:41

The dog breed that causes the most attacks on humans in the UK is the Labrador.
If yours barks and jumps up, then you have failed to train it properly, and visitors are absolutely right to be wary of it.
You are blaming visitors for your own failure as a responsible dog owner to supervise and train your animal.

areyoubeingserviced · 16/06/2019 07:46

Op, people like you annoy me.
I am not fond of dogs
I used to have a Spanish tutor who refused to put her dog away when I came for lessons. The dog would bark at me and lick me. I asked my tutor if she could put her dog away for the duration of the lesson ( which was an hour) . She was offended .
The next week the dog was there again, barking and licking me.
I stopped going to these lessons
Op, so yes, YABVVU

Shequakes · 16/06/2019 07:47

BackBoiler it doesnt seen that usual to me because my ex mil was like this.

Her dog attacked my daughter. Daughter was badly injured but did have cuts to her ears and we had to go to hospital.

We ended up not visiting because mil wouldnt put the dog away from the kids. Exh was very abusive and he wouldnt let me report the dog to be put down. The hospital wouldnt either. Said it wasnt bad enough. Exh did agree to stop taking the kids though.

She also had a business from home. And would refuse people who didnt like the dog, the dog was massive. Her business suffered. But luckily exfil earned well and they were mortgage free. So it didnt matter. By the time I left exh she was working about 3 hours a months. Word spreads fast, often and people stopped enquiring.

WhiteDust · 16/06/2019 08:19

Judging by some of the comments I think I’ll just invite people to my home who don’t have a problem with a family dog 😁

I'd do that if I were you OP! Do everyone a favour and include 'only dog lovers welcome' on your advertising.

Unless the service you provide actually involves dogs, best leave the dog out of it. Not everyone wants to be around your dog.

WhiteDust · 16/06/2019 08:24

Same applies to children.
I went for a pedicure at a private house once. Beautiful little treatment room and lovely lady but she had her 5 year old son in the room with us who spent the whole time whining because he was bored.
Never went back.

Medievalist · 16/06/2019 08:51

The dog breed that causes the most attacks on humans in the UK is the Labrador.

That's because it's the most common dog in the uk 🙄

Can't believe the dog hate on here. And the posters equating a dog barking at someone coming to their house with savage attacks Hmm

And as for training dogs not to bark at the doorbell - what the hell for? Our house is a bit isolated and I never discourage my dogs from barking when they come to the door with me. Why should I? Confused. They calm down as soon as someone comes in anyway.