To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

[calamityJayne1]

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

@Lizzie48
Mother?? Is that you?

I'm happy to be an irritating type of dog hater (are there any other types, I wonder? ), and to be called a dick myself for it, but I won't be insulted into loving any dog as much as its owners do.

As the OP herself said people have physically winced if her dog goes near them, and then used the petty insult 'Snowflake' to those of them who dare to dislike her annoying and unpleasant dog, so she is clearly in the category I mentioned earlier.

My own mother, is just as bad, whose chocolate lab is soppy as anything, but absolutely stinks, has no respect for anyone's personal space (tries to sit on your lap, unbidden) and barks at passing buses. He is an idiot. And she calls him baby and talks to him like one. She never let me behave like that when I was a child.

My sister-in-law has a yappy little twat dog who nips at the bottoms of your trousers, growls if you go within three metres of his bed/bowl/toys, and instead of reprimanding him, she scoops him up, snuggles into neck and tells him off in a baby voice. He doesn't understand you love!

My son developed a dog phobia when a stupid dog owner allowed her large dog to approach him (in his buggy), and lick his face. The dog's owner laughed (at my terrified and howling son) and said 'Aww, he was just being friendly and saying hello'. Well, thanks for that. I had to spend the next three or four years, 'training' my baby to not be afraid of dogs by stopping every time I saw one and asking if we could pet it. I hated doing it, but my boy needed to see me unafraid of dogs. Ugh! The baby wipes got a pasting on those long walks.

Dog owners who have no idea about personal boundaries are the ones I have issues with. I'm sure there are very good and responsible dog owners. I do not have an issue with them. But the ones who do not, I think are idiots.

Errrr, no, thanks, I don't actually think guide dogs are particularly 'pleasant'. I personally think all dogs are unpleasant, for the reasons I gave before, but those that do essential work (guide dogs, hearing dogs, companions, police dogs, sheepdogs) are well-trained and therefore, the owners do not usually fall into the dick category.

OP, please read the dictionary definition of Snowflake. Openly disliking your unbearable and overbearing dog (and let's admit it, one that is very big and terrifying to a small child) is not being a Snowflake. It's being phobic, or allergic, or small, or afraid, or not wishing to get clothes spoiled, or any number of reasons other than just being precious and offended. I'm afraid, in the definition of snowflake, it is actually you who is acting like one. Crack on and lose half your clients if you think your dog is more important than they are.

@calamityjayne1

I’ve just dropped a couple of families who moan constantly What on earth business do you do that allows you to do this?

Quite frankly, you sound as unbearable as your bloody annoying dog.

I've said I don't have a dog, I wouldn't want one during to the commitment involved. My DH is allergic anyway. I'm very much a cat person; some people don't like cats, which I accept and shut them out of the room if they come to visit.

I just don't get why you feel the need to go on about how you hate dogs? So you hate dogs and other people love them. Why does there need to be a slanging match about it?

I just don't get the strength of feelings on both sides of this debate tbh.

I mean, 'due' not 'during' (wretched automatic text!).

YABVU if you provide services to people in your house and you get annoyed if they request the dog in the different room. If you don't like that then however you advertise advise them the dog will be present and if that is an issue don't book. Then they WBU. I guess you don't as this would reduce business.

I go into homes often with my work and will not enter if the dog is not secured in another room. I do not know the dog nor how it will act.

I didn't begin a slanging match! I was airing my views! And then I was responding to the points you made - so here we are, slap-bang in a slanging match when I think we both actually agree that OP is being a dick!

What don't you get? That some people adore their doggies, and others openly hate them? I'm sure there are some who quite like them, like you, and others who don't mind them, but would rather not.

I'm actually beginning to think that judging by the countless answers stating YABVU, and the subsequent lack of response from the OP, it is a reverse. But hey, we've been sucked into an argument not intended.

I mean these threads in general become so heated, and pointless actually, because clearly neither side are ever going to agree.

I also said YABU to the OP, because dog lovers expecting everyone to love their pooch as much as they do are clearly being ridiculous. They seem to take it as a personal insult, which I don't get at all. I don't get all upset about people not liking cats after all.

So yes, we agree about the OP being a dick. Although I might be okay around her dog, if it doesn't jump up at visitors. I would consider it unprofessional, however.

Yes, you must get the dog trained, it can be taken anywhere then and people will not be intimidated. I love animals but would not like being jumped at. Train it to shake a paw if people want to pet it, but it must not be allowed to bound up to people.

They seem to take it as a personal insult, which I don't get at all.

That is because many dog owners see their dog as an extension of their own personality, Lizzie. It's a pity for the dogs because dogs have a nature that is distinct from ours, with distinct needs.

As I said before, burglars often ring doorbells. I am not always home. A dog does not know if the person ringing the doorbell is a burglar or not, no matter how well trained they are.

That doesn't matter.
You can train your dog not to bark like a maniac at the doorbell and still get the benefit of a dog as guard. You could also get a burglar alarm, and in fact many insurance companies like it if you do.

A burglar is just as likely to be put off by a single bark or two as a barking fit that goes on for ten minutes.

Why risk alienating your neighbours and friends by allowing your dog to bark as much as he likes when the same effect can be achieved with less noise and nuisance?

mathanxiety again, you are making incorrect assumptions. First it was that burglars don't know, then that dogs can tell who is a burglar. Now you are assuming that my dog 'barks like a maniac'. No they don't. They bark to alert the presence of someone at the door, or on the property. It is more effective than a burglar alarm.

Dogs don't have to bark to be a deterrent. Mine used to sit in the front window, watching the world go by.

Hibbledibble - I'd give it up. You won't shake Mathanxiety's self-belief that she knows best.

Interesting to see the way this thread has developed.

The op saying people wince when her dog approaches them is interpreted as her dog jumping up at visitors. (I've seen people wince and shy away when my 12 year old arthritic Labrador totters past, even though she really isn't in the slightest bit interested in them unless they make a fuss of her)
The OP's dog barking at the doorbell and stopping after a few seconds is interpreted as it barking like a maniac (though interestingly Mathanxiety seems to have shifted her stance slightly to permit one or two barks?)
The op describing her dog as 'daft' is concrete proof that it barks like crazy and jumps up at people. (One of my dogs is 'daft' but he isn't the slightest bit interested in visitors).

And so much dog hate.

I love dogs but you have to appreciate some people don't and don't feel comfortable with them. So I think YABU.

mediaevalist you are right. Some people believe they know best, despite being proven incorrect multiple times.

I agree with you totally.

I have seen people even scream or run across the road while walking my small lurcher, or even a relative's chihuahua. Neither are scary or threatening.

An awful lot of anti-dog sentiment here.

I'm happy with my beautiful dog barking, and will continue to allow her to do so.

I'd stop using whatever service you provide because of your inconsiderate and unprofessional attitude. YABVU.

Surely there has to be a middle ground. When I was a kid, there was not the hysteria surrounding dogs there is now. No parents pulled their kids towards them in panic if someone walked their toy poodle through the park if a dog snapped at (not bit) or growled at a kid, the kid was told off for tormenting the dog no calls for the dog to be PTS.

Dogs happily sat on the beach without angry parents demanding they were removed because their kid was frightened

On the other hand most dogs were owned by more knowledgeable people and better trained.

Why is it you want peoples business but only if they like your dog-run your business somewhere else if you dont like the complaints-theyve come for a service not to be barked at

My late dm was petrified of dogs it doesnt matter if your dog is friendly the jumping up is the worst bit for her it made her cry-if it was just to visit you as a friend you can do what you like but a business-no

Im with you OP. If they know you have a dog and its excitable but you put it out of the way when they are around and they still complain then ygey are being unreasonable. I have pets and people who visit know that and accept that. My bf dosnt like animals but loves me and accepts that they live here so accepts them ad part of what makes me me. People who dont like dogs should be avoided

Smiling
She only puts it away once her clients have been 'barked' at.

Thats not good business practice which.ever way you put it. They arent her family or her bf they are clients paying her for something. Their comfort should come first.

I run my own business, I have 3 children and as much as I love them I don't mix my work and home life, I don't expose clients to my children. Some people hate children, some people hate dogs. Personally, I just think it sounds totally unprofessional. Can't you hire an office?

YABU You need to stop being a 'snowflake' and being so sensitive about people not liking your dog.

I love labradors, probably the only breed I do like! However you need to tell your dog not to bark as barking dogs are quite scary. What is it you do, op? Why not just put the dog away while people are at your house? Or ask if they like dogs and if they do ask if they mind the dog being in the room?

hibbledibble
Neither are scary or threatening.
Spoken with sublime certainty.

FYI, chihuahuas are notorious for aggression and nervousness around small children. It shouldn't be difficult to understand why one run-in with a chihuahua might make people want to cross the street instead of passing yours.

www.petchidog.com/chihuahua-little-dog-syndrome
The general principles of the training outlined in this link apply to all dogs.
Too many people are not willing to be the alpha in their pack or even think of their dog as some kind of four legged child.