To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

[calamityJayne1]

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

And as for training dogs not to bark at the doorbell - what the hell for?

Because unlike you, op has customers coming to her home and has received feedback it's off-putting.

Well then they ought to accept the fact that dogs tend to bark as a warning when people approach their home. It's not rocket science. That doesn't, as so many pps seem to think, equate to carrying on barking and jumping up at visitors once they're inside.

Or op should accept that her customers often find her dog off-putting and put him in the other room before opening the door. That's not rocket science either. Presumably she wants their custom.

I have dogs.. big dogs at that, but they don't bark if I'm there. If I'm in the garden and there is someone at the front of the house or the door they do, but as soon as I'm there they stop.

Barking instantly creates anxiety in non doggy people, but a simple "are you ok with dogs, they're friendly" and the dog with a wagging tail who leaves them alone, is fine.

Your dog is barking because for whatever reason you are happy for him to, but don't blame the visitor for being worried by it.

Yes she can accept that, and I think does. But she was asking if she was unreasonable to be cross about having to do that and also the ongoing comments about her dog.

Personally - and even on AIBU I am allowed a personal opinion - I don't think she is. I don't like people who don't like dogs. Never have, never will. And I certainly would be cross at anyone was moaning about my gorgeous Labradors.

Barking instantly creates anxiety in non doggy people

Who mentioned barking incessantly? . The op said her dog stops within seconds of someone coming to the door. Mine stop when I answer the door or let someone in.

@Medievalist why would you dislike them? Some people have had bad experiences of dogs in the past and are scared of them, is that surprising? (They should for their own sakes get some help with that, as there are dogs everywhere, but that's up to them.). Others, like my DH, are allergic.

I love my cats. I don't automatically dislike someone who dislikes cats, I just remove my cats from the room or we meet up somewhere else.

I don't have visitors in my home that doesn't like dogs

I'm with you can't stand people that dislike dogs

I don't have visitors in my home that doesn't like dogs
I don't go to other people's homes if they have dogs.

Sounds like we'd get on great.

Medievalist

I never said incessantly.. you did!

I tend to agree with you, but to save people whinging I would probably just put him in another room when you hear your clients knock the door.

I never said incessantly.. you did!

Apologies - misread your post

If you put the dog in a separate room for the duration of their visit then why on earth would you not just put the dog in the separate room when the bell goes? You are causing this whole situation yourself with your idiocy.

I like dogs and have one myself. I don’t like the sound of yours. Even ‘dog people’ have a right to be anxious of dogs they do not know. DD was recently bitten by a known friendly dog in an unprovoked attack.

If you put the dog in a separate room for the duration of their visit then why on earth would you not just put the dog in the separate room when the bell goes? You are causing this whole situation yourself with your idiocy.

^^
This, its blindingly obvious really.

Well then they ought to accept the fact that dogs tend to bark as a warning when people approach their home. It's not rocket science

No, they only do that if they have been poorly trained and see themselves as the alpha in the house. Dogs need a leader. If you won't play alpha the dog will.

It's a problem and it's fixable.

Mathanxiety - why would you not want a dog to bark when someone knocks at the door/rings the bell? It's not alpha behaviour, they're just alerting the household. I find it very useful if I'm in the garden and don't hear the doorbell; and very reassuring overnight as I know they will bark if they hear anyone outside.

How do you equate a dog sounding an alert to alpha behaviour?

I don't think it is correct to say a well trained dog doesn't bark. My dog is well trained. I have deliberately allowed her to bark when anyone knocks on the door or enters our front garden/back garden, as it is an excellent deterrent against burglars. I do however hold her collar when answering the door as I know some find it intimidating. It does make me feel safer when I am home alone answering the door.

It doesn't bother me if a dog barks when I knock at someone's door; I expect a dog to do this. What I don't want is for that dog to jump up at me.

What I don't want is for that dog to jump up at me.

I don't think the op said her dog does this.

My DM's dog is the most dangerous dog I know. It weighs about 5kg but thinks it's a direwolf. But it is just exhibiting protective behaviour for the owner, sadly against the postman, garbage collectors and anyone it hears. My Lab 25kg just wants to greet new friends. But in the country, most people, even random relief delivery men, are relaxed about big dogs.

Medievalist
They're alerting the household because they think they are the alpha who needs to protect the pack, and that is the problem.

ChristmasFluff explained it well:

Late to the thread, but a dog that is barking when people come in, is a dog that doesn't understand its place in the hierarchy - i.e. it believes it is number 1 and has to protect its 'owner'

The owner of a dog should be number 1, but so many loving dog owners don't understand this, and their dog is thus forced to be 'pack leader' by their actions. Hence barking etc

Dog owners who do not respect the nature of their dogs and do not provide their dog with the social environment that they need (i.e. the hierarchy inherent to pack life) are in fact being narcissists, projecting their own feelings about themselves onto the animal.

The dog has no time at all for 'member of the family' talk. That is projection on the part of the owner. To the dog, the family is the 'pack'. Living with humans does not change their nature or their needs, and they need the owner to be Number One, the alpha.

You can absolutely train your dog not to bark when the doorbell rings, or to bark just once and then stay back. You have to disrupt the association of the doorbell with anxiety, using positive reinforcement, treats, attention. Or you can create an association between the doorbell and the dog bed by use of treats and positive attention. You can practice daily with someone else ringing the doorbell while you work on the dog indoors.

It won't stop them from barking to alert to the presence of someone breaking in.

As for jumping around to 'greet' - you can stop that too with the command to heel. If they won't heel then you need to work on that too. Everyone is happier when the dog knows who is the boss.

Playful = annoying

this is the dog equivalent of those wet parents who claim their child is spirited - translate-->ill disciplined little brat

Some have sensory issues with dogs barking, some are uncomfortable around dogs. You need to make sure your dog is not present at any stage if it's work related. If it's friends, it would be kind to do the same, but a little more flexible.