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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

444 replies

calamityJayne1 · 14/06/2019 19:03

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 15/06/2019 19:46

9 times out of 10, if I'm entering a house with a dog, (or cat, rabbit, toddler, lizard...) I'm most enthusiastic about seeing them- the people are a bonus.

Not everyone likes dogs or cats, etc. But if I'm going into someone's home, it's their space and it will reflect them. I don't expect them to follow my rules in their house. Or business.

Vivianebrookskoviak · 15/06/2019 19:47

YABU. If you're a child or someone shorter,having a dog come bounding up to you can be frightening and worse if barking. Playful can still be frightening. If you're having people over to your house the dog needs to be locked away as standard. Saying you'll only have dog friendly people over, well if you can afford to if it won't affect your income fair play but that's a typical dog owner stance and discriminatory.
Dog owners don't seem to understand that not all dogs are lovely fluffy creatures. They can bite and attack.
I myself like labradors but even I would be apprehensive about ones that are more playful.
I really don't like these sorts of owners who don't seem to understand that they might call it playful while someone else calls it frightening.

LouH1981 · 15/06/2019 19:48

Labrador owner and dog groomer here...I would be offended too. Labradors are awesome. Never met one I don’t like. I get far too offended by any place that isn’t dog friendly and any person who dislikes dogs because I love my doggo so much! He’s the kindest, friendliest, funniest creature on the planet as far as I’m concerned so I find it hard to empathise with anyone who doesn’t feel the same way.
He and I were outside a pasty shop in Padstow once waiting for DH and DS to come out with the goods. A lady approached the window and stood next to him. He wagged his tail (yay, pasties!!) and tapped her with his tail on her leg. She turned round, looked down and said ‘ewww’ and grimaced. I mean honestly! So yeah, I’d be offended. But I guess if people don’t share the love or are genuinely scared, not much more you can do. (Their loss!)

WhoWants2Know · 15/06/2019 19:49

Op, I

WhoWants2Know · 15/06/2019 19:51

Doh, posted too soon.

OP, I'm happy to come over and not complain about your dog.

Boringweekend · 15/06/2019 19:53

YANBU
I find it amazing that people expect us to tolerate their fucking irritating Whiny forward children hahahahaha

Don’t take any notice of the ridiculous responses you’re getting OP mumsnet is full of dog haters

manicmij · 15/06/2019 19:56

Having been a dog owner for several years I would say YABU. Not all adults are comfortable with dogs and children can be even more so. Having a dog barking before the door is even opened by you would put me off going in especially with children. You need to address what you are allowing your dog to do and enrol for some training. Of course the older the dog the less likely a good outcome.

Blondebombsite83 · 15/06/2019 19:58

My dads dog was my baby when I lived with him. He’s very jumpy uppy when I visit because my dad never trained him otherwise and doesn’t have that many visitors. He’s tends to go out instead. That said if the dog is being a twat and won’t calm down he goes in the kitchen until he has and he’s family! If it was anyone else or my son I wouldn’t hesitate to shut him in. Other people don’t want to deal with him. If they do then they are welcome to seek him out. YABU and also, a dick.

LakieLady · 15/06/2019 20:02

After this, I always ring to check if there are dogs present and respectfully request that dogs are put in another room before even getting out of the car, when doing late evening visits.

I did home visits in my previous job. We always asked about any pets when we carried out our risk assessment (done over the phone, prior to first visit). If a client had a dog, and the worker assigned was frightened or allergic or anything, we'd insist that the dog was shut away prior to them arriving.

I know NHS is very different, but I'm quite surprised that there's no similar protocol.

ChristmasFluff · 15/06/2019 20:09

Late to the thread, but a dog that is barking when people come in, is a dog that doesn't understand its place in the hierarchy - i.e. it believes it is number 1 and has to protect its 'owner'

The owner of a dog should be number 1, but so many loving dog owners don't understand this, and their dog is thus forced to be 'pack leader' by their actions. Hence barking etc.

My parents used to comment on how their unruly dog didn't bark at the window when I was around. Whilst simultaneously moaning at me because I didn't fuss him when I came in. The two were totally related - the pack leader doesn't acknowledge inferiors on arrival.

Sorting dogs is easy - especially as I have no strong feelings for them one way or another. (I would never have a dog living on my house though)

I'm happy to train them for money (I have no qualifications except direct experience)

Buttons4me · 15/06/2019 20:14

I don't like dogs and am very nervous and allergic but I would choose not to go to a house with dogs because of this.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 15/06/2019 20:26

@prettywhiteguitar
Totally agree!!!

Oystercatcher2 · 15/06/2019 20:26

I think if they’re coming to your house because of your work, then it’s not so unreasonable.

However, if people come to your house socially, I do think it’s unreasonable of them to ask for the dog to be put away. I have had this and found it extremely annoying. My dogs could not be more mild, well behaved and friendly. They have helped several people get over a fear of dogs. I really object to people asking for them to be put away when they’re in their own house. If your kids have a fear of dogs, the best thing you can do is help them to get over it, rather than feed the fear by asking for all dogs to be put out of their way.

smallereveryday · 15/06/2019 20:38

The straightforward answer to your question OP is BECAUSE they are snowflakes. !!

contentedsoul · 15/06/2019 20:50

Another one here who doesn't care for dogs, to the extent I'll either look away or cross the road if someone approaches with a dog.
I'm not scared of them, I simply don't get the silly infatuation humans have over a dog.
I should add, My mother thought more of the fucking dogs than she did her own kids! She always said she never wanted any of us, she was perfectly happy to have just dogs!

We don't speak anymore.

Cath2907 · 15/06/2019 20:59

If people are paying to come to your house to receive a service or to do work for you then lock the dog away before they arrive. If they are friends or family then it is “love me, move my dog”. If you can’t tolerate my dog in his home then I’d meet you out. I don’t put the dog away (something he hates) for social calls.

Snog · 15/06/2019 21:01

I Think it's fine if your dog does not approach your visitors.

chocolatemademefat · 15/06/2019 21:11

I love dogs and used to have a large one. She was on a high when people came to the house and I had to make sure she was in another room.

I don’t care if people are dog lovers or not - give them peace in your home.

Bugbabe1970 · 15/06/2019 21:24

It’s your home if they don’t like it they can keep away.
How dare they!

Mothership4two · 15/06/2019 21:24

We also have a very woofy, daft but totally harmless/friendly dog that initially barks when visitors enter the house. Many people are uncomfortable with her behaviour and some people are very "English" being polite and will say they are OK but their body language and facial expression says the opposite. I immediately put her in another room.

You can't help how you feel and if something makes you nervous or full on scared, the best thing is to say. And so you can't really be blamed for it!

You love you dog, it is a part of the family, but to many others it is just a dog.

SoftBlocks · 15/06/2019 21:27

YABU.

LesserBohemian · 15/06/2019 21:45

I generally like dogs and had a lab growing up... but still wince when they bark and jump enthusiastically around on meeting me.

Some people are really frightened by them or can’t deal with animals for whatever reason. That won’t change just because you say he’s an alright dog.

If people are coming to your home for your work, the least you can do is make the visit comfortable for them, sheesh!

Pinkprincess1978 · 15/06/2019 22:41

If these are friends they have a choice to come to your home or not but as these are business acquaintances then they don't. Your dog should be not been seen and ideally not heard while they are there. Totally unacceptable that your dog barks at them or is playful in any way. This is business!

loveya · 15/06/2019 22:48

The people who say don’t mind those who say you are being unreasonable because there’s dog haters everywhere are also being unreasonable...

The moment you have clients over your house is not your home it’s your place of work... and there you have to accommodate those who pay for your service, if you rather have them go somewhere else with their business that is your choice but if you want to keep your clients coming back you might want to be more accommodating to your clients!!!

loveya · 15/06/2019 22:49

And no I am not a dog hater... I love dogs I have a 4 year old black cockapoo