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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross about visitors not liking my dog

444 replies

calamityJayne1 · 14/06/2019 19:03

I have a Labrador who is the daftest dog you’d ever meet.

Due to my work children and parents visit my house. They know I have a dog who is harmless yet people still make comments like why is he barking and I don’t like dogs and physically wincing if he comes near them.

This is only on arrival and I put the dog in a different room for the duration of their visit, but I am getting really tired of anti dog people making comments and someone even asked me to ensure the dog was locked in a different room on arrival!

Given the fact that new people are informed I have a dog and he’s playful and barks I don’t understand people’s reactions. I understand not everyone likes dogs but why can’t people stop act like snowflakes and move on?

AIBU to feel totally fed up and only invite dog friendly people to my house?

OP posts:
Rtruth · 15/06/2019 18:18

Wow!

Can’t believe some people can’t understand this from visitors perspective!!!

I’m nervous around dogs, I’ve got used to most but bigger jumpy dogs in my mind are unpredictable and this relates to a situation when I was younger.

Now if I’m visiting you, for whatever reason ....work or friendship, I’d expect you to think about me as visitor and therefore consider my opinion.
Yes it’s your house but why would you want to male someone fell uncomfortable?

ShowMeTheKittens · 15/06/2019 18:18

Barking at visitors? Not very adorable. More like bloody annoying. Also some people don't like dogs so you have to factor that in.
Or it will just be ; you and the dog.

yyz112 · 15/06/2019 18:20

The investigator, In that case the dog should be able to relax in his/her home area away from the business area.

ComeAndDance · 15/06/2019 18:20

They aren't visitors. They are clients paying for a service. It is not a personal relationship and a drop in for a cup of tea. It's a professional relationship and these people are paying. During those times, OP is "at work". It is not her home at those times. It is her workplace and she brings people into it. You cannot treat professional acquaintances in the same way as you treat friends. Having your dog jump and bark at them is not OK.*

This with bells on

redcarbluecar · 15/06/2019 18:26

Room for a bit of compromise I think. Some people aren’t all that keen on dogs or are a bit wary of them (I like dogs but have a residual fear of them from childhood, so am nervous of friends’ dogs at first, then gradually relax). Maybe just be a bit patient and understanding if someone seems edgy about your Labrador. If the dog’s presence or barking is a massive problem for someone then yeah, you probably need to suggest they don’t visit.

I don’t understand your comment about snowflakes and moving on.
Move on from what?

EmeraldEagle · 15/06/2019 18:34

I love dogs & I work with dogs but I think yabu!
My own dogs are mental (terriers) and go nuts when people visit, if it's friends or family they except it or don't visit.
However if we have people coming to the house for any other reason (builders, plumber etc) the dogs are shut away until the person confirms that they are okay with mental dogs but they are still stopped from jumping up and being a nuisance once they have said hello.
If I had people visiting my house for work purposes they would not even need to know I had dogs as they would be in a different part of the house, if you work from home you have to accept that during your work time your house is not your home but your place of work.

Toooldfornonsense · 15/06/2019 18:35

If people you advise people that you have a dog and he barks and they still come then that’s their problem. Dogs are dogs. If he’s not aggressive and just playful then it’s the guests who either need to leave or put up with it. It’s your home

Cannyhandleit · 15/06/2019 18:41

Due to my work children and parents visit my house.

So they aren't visitors they are clients...
I have a mild phobia of dogs and I have a child with a severe phobia of dogs, if I had to visit someone in their home to receive a service I pay for and I was greeted by a boisterous barking dog that made me feel uneasy then I would definitely think twice about using this service again unless you were willing to have your dog in another room on future visits. It sounds incredibly unprofessional.

jwpetal · 15/06/2019 18:43

I love dogs though not a dog owner. However, uncontrolled dogs make me nervous as unintentional things happen. For example today, I was holding a bag tight in my fist for my friend and her dog. Some random dog, who the owners claim is very nice, jumped up and grabbed the bag breaking the skin in my hand. No sorry, just oh he will eat anything. haha he is so cute. The point is that people know you have a dog, but it is out of control. Don't expect them to just be all cheery. They need to adjust. personally, a good host would move the dog away until people are settled and then bring out after it has calmed down.

Ifeelbloodyawful · 15/06/2019 18:45

YABU and I'm a dog lover.

BeansandRice · 15/06/2019 18:51

I suspect a lot of people commenting on this thread maybe just want to have a go at dog owners because they don’t like dogs!

I love dogs (I’ve got one curled up on my feet at the moment). Now.

But until I was about 15, I was very scared of dogs. Even friendly dogs.

And especially dogs that barked and bounded up to me. No matter how much their owners assured me the dog was friendly.

And I spent my childhood being mocked, cajoled, and criticised for being scared of dogs.

So have some respect for people - particularly if they’re coming to your house on a business matter (music lessons?). Put your dog away. I can remember the most scary times with dogs were the times when you’d go to someone’s house and the dog would be trying to jump up as you enter the house. It’s awful if you’re scared of dogs.

CoffeeCoffeeTea · 15/06/2019 18:52

Hi OP, I love dogs, don't have one, but would love one. All my family have dogs ! When I visit the dogs always jump on me , (they avoid my husband!!) . Yes it can be annoying if I'm all dressed up, but not a big deal. After 10 mins the dog(s) usually calm down .
However if the parents and children are clients , then you need to control your dog . Whilst you cannot stop the barking, making sure your lovely Labrador is happily settled in a separate room. Depending on your job, maybe you could involve your dog? My brother-in-law is a child psychiatrist and has brought his dogs to work to help

SunnyInGrimsby · 15/06/2019 18:55

I think when we visit other people's homes we should try to be understanding and tolerant of their pets. This wouldn't bother me at all OP. I'm sure your dog calms down once he's done his 'meet and greet'.

I live in a crowded, busy part of London where we have to navigate kids on scooters, dogs and hordes of school children. Lots of stuff is beyond our control so a bit of live and let live goes a long way.

Armadillostoes · 15/06/2019 19:01

OP-I think that just not inviting non-doggy people is the way to go. It's true that not everyone likes dogs, but equally there no obligation to offer non-dog lovers hospitality.

Sara107 · 15/06/2019 19:03

I think the crucial point that many have commented on is the difference between people calling to visit socially and the fact that these are clients paying for some sort of service. I would not expect to pay for a service and deal with any aspect of the service providers personal life - not their pets, or their children, or their hobbies or anything else.

fairweathercyclist · 15/06/2019 19:04

OP you say you run a business from home. Presumably you would not allow your children to run up to clients and jump all over them so I wonder why you think it is professional to allow your dog to do so.

With guests it is one thing, they can just decide not to come if they don't like dogs (although it can't be that hard to put dog in garden or other room for a short visit), but I'd be a bit annoyed as a paying client if I was expected to just lump it.

TheJoxter · 15/06/2019 19:05

If you put the dog in a different room while they’re there anyway it’s no more work to do it just before they arrive instead. Particularly since there’s children around, I was terrified of dogs as a child and would have been on edge the whole time if I’d been greeted by a barking dog on arrival

CountryGirl1234 · 15/06/2019 19:05

I have a lab and another dog. Both bark. Mail man lays an egg every time despite meeting them both and both being soft as. I don’t mind.
Some people have had run ins with dogs they have been told are totally fine. Best thing to do is to just put your dog away. Or prewarn people it’s not doing him any good being shut out every visit, say it’s making him associate visitors with negativity. That way they can stay out or choose to come in if you can’t do it anymore.
I would say it’s fair for people to be honest about how hey feel about big dogs, rather than freak out and upset the dog, your dog shouldn’t be barking at people once they enter.

mathanxiety · 15/06/2019 19:15

A playful dog who barks when the bell rings and when people step through the door. What's not to love? Hmm
YABU

Bet your neighbours love that too, given that your professional role involves people coming to your home.

I am trying to think of the sort of work you do.

Photographer?
Therapist?
Hairdresser?

Putting clients at ease might surely be important to you for their sake?

Get your dog to a dog whisperer to stop the barking when the doorbell rings. Your neighbours and clients will thank you.

Your bottom line might thank you too. Your competition might not have offputting dogs.

mathanxiety · 15/06/2019 19:16

YY 'music lessons'..

buckeejit · 15/06/2019 19:17

Yabu. Just put the dog away before you open the door then no one has to suffer. If anyone loves your dog that much, they can ask to see it.

Sparkerparker · 15/06/2019 19:28

Unless they’re coming to you for pet therapy you should put your dog in a different room.
Some people just don’t like or may be nervous around dogs.
Don’t take it personally but they aren’t there to see your dog

4under4our · 15/06/2019 19:38

I'm 50/50 on this. I'll be completely honest and say I don't like dogs. I'm not afraid of them I'm just really not an animal person. Though your dog coming near me would irritate me you did state that people know you have a dog before they come so I just wouldn't come.
It's your house not mine, you can have as many dogs as you like, I don't have to come to your home and be around them.

Tee22 · 15/06/2019 19:40

Hi OP, I'm with you on this one. YANBU. I have two Labs, one who barks as soon as someone approaches the house, I don't discourage this as I'm home alone most of the time and actually I think she's doing her job which I appreciate very much. If you don't like my dogs then don't come to my home, simple. My dogs are like my children and as a previous poster said, I prefer them to most people. I fully appreciate that not all people like dogs, I'm not asking them to like mine, but not a hope of me locking them away when visitors come over. I have full faith in my dogs, which it sounds like you do. If you can afford to turn away business, then I'd go for the stress free customers who don't mind your dogs.

billybagpuss · 15/06/2019 19:44

OP, I fear you may have left the thread, but hopefully you're still reading.

I think you may run a similar business to me, in which case you will know that there are only a few household (non business) insurance policies that cover you having so many regular visitors to your home. My dog is shut away for anyone that I know that dislikes dogs and for one lady who doesn't mind her but the dog is nervous about so barks at her, she is allowed out to greet the regular dog lovers. My friend runs the same business and she has been categorically told by her insurance company that her dogs must be shut away when clients come.

So yes sorry YABU