To complain about a thoughtless comment by supermarket worker?

[Sophiafaith63]

I was shopping with my daughter today and came across a lady giving out yogurt samples.

She asked if my daughter would like a sample then asked when her brother/sister was due! As I am not pregnant this was a very hurtful comment. I said I did not think that was a question you should put to a lady hoping she'd take the hint to leave the subject alone. However she then asked the same question again! I said I was not pregnant and repeated that this was not something you should say to a lady. Instead of an apology, she said it was just the way I was standing!

I was really upset by this and really want send an email to head office asking for this lady to be given training on how to speak to customers

Would this be reasonable or should I just let this one go as thoughtless rather than rude? Maybe I should toughen up but this really upset me.

I’m actually astounded at how many people are asking the OP if she looks pregnant. Clearly these are all people with perfectly flat stomachs - in which case, count yourself very lucky in life.

Some people have fat arses, I have a fat tummy: even when I’m slim.

It’s not bloating, it’s fat. That’s where mine gathers and I can’t do very much about it.

It’s a family trait and even my younger brother looks about 8 months gone.

All my adult life (from when I was 18 at a health club and wearing a robe and having a member of staff literally sprint up to me and tell me I couldn’t go in the jacuzzi while pregnant...) I have been accused of being pregnant every so often, and always by women.

It’s INCREDIBLY rude.

One memorable time I was a few weeks past a horrible MC when a woman in a dry cleaners asked when I was due. I said oh I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. She said back oh I think you are pregnant you just don’t know it yet. It took everything in me not to punch her in the face.

I can’t believe there are women who think it’s okay to comment on another’s body from what they perceive and not based on fact. Just because you look pregnant does not mean you are. Some people on here would do well to make a mental note of this.

I'm as big as a whale but I'd just laugh if someone asks if I'm pregnant. You are way too precious OP. And if I were the store manager receiving the complaint it would go to my junk box.

I actually think her response ‘it was the way you were stood’ was more tactful and polite than any other alternative tbh. she was trying to give you an out by making out like it was just her error due to your positioning. Far less upsetting than a ‘oh god sorry, I just thought...’ Which makes it clear she genuinely thought your tummy was fat enough to look pregnant.

You’re working hard to lose the weight OP and that’s great! Rather than get hung up on this event that’s been and gone let it spur you on, and comfort yourself that if you keep going with your weight loss not only will you be healthier but nobody will mistake your belly for being pregnant again (they might, okay, but you can only control your own actions and thoughts not someone else’s).

It sounds like she genuinely believed you were pregnant and didn’t cotton on that your first response was a ‘I’m not’, you were unclear. I wouldn’t personally ask someone if they were pregnant but I know not everyone has got that memo and if it’s not malicious it’s pointless chasing after a punishment.

I’m actually astounded at how many people are asking the OP if she looks pregnant. Clearly these are all people with perfectly flat stomachs - in which case, count yourself very lucky in life.

Clearly you haven't read the thread.

That's you though, Orange.
Like you're entitled to feel what you feel. Its the same with op.
I hate the "I do this don't do this so other people should shouldn't attitude.
Also its very very easy isn't it to make out on an anonymous internet site that you're over confident and can handle any thing life throws at you.

It is absolutely your right to feel offended by what the woman said but I don't think she said it to offend you so, in this instance, I don't think I'd complain

I have David Walliams in my head too!

If shops and supermarkets stopped insisting their staff engage customers in conversation this wouldn't happen. The poor woman won't have been remotely interested in the answer, she was just doing her job.

I've had this before and responded no I'm just fat with a smile!

Please don't report this lady. As people have said she will not have been being malicious, just making small talk which there is pressure on service workers to do. We are expected to be literally perfect and get everything right and it's not an easy job dealing with the public and getting the right balance. I understand that she upset you but please don't endanger her livelihood. She's just a person trying to get by. Just like you.