To complain about a thoughtless comment by supermarket worker?

[Sophiafaith63]

I was shopping with my daughter today and came across a lady giving out yogurt samples.

She asked if my daughter would like a sample then asked when her brother/sister was due! As I am not pregnant this was a very hurtful comment. I said I did not think that was a question you should put to a lady hoping she'd take the hint to leave the subject alone. However she then asked the same question again! I said I was not pregnant and repeated that this was not something you should say to a lady. Instead of an apology, she said it was just the way I was standing!

I was really upset by this and really want send an email to head office asking for this lady to be given training on how to speak to customers

Would this be reasonable or should I just let this one go as thoughtless rather than rude? Maybe I should toughen up but this really upset me.

It's a life lesson - never, ever assume anyone is pregnant unless they're actively in labour.

I was in a supermarket with youngest d. Woman handing out stuff for kids asked dd if Granny (me) would like a thingumbob too...
I roared with laughter.
Not the first time
Not the last.
Sometimes the world can be a rude place

A patient once asked a colleague if she was pregnant. She replied "no I'm just fat". The patient was mortified.

Blueskieslies How do you "loose" weight? Do you open the door and let it run out?

I always say 'No I just like cake'. Never fails to shut the asker up.

At least she said her mistake was to assume from the way you were standing,

i think she styled that part out rather well.

Clearly I should just accept its fine to be insulting to customers .

Don't be so passive-aggressive. Perhaps it would have been better if you'd been clear the first time and said "I'm not pregnant", instead of the rather coy 1920s-esque "That isn't a question you should put to a lady".

Neither of you communicated very sensibly (she with her slightly over-familiar question, you with your coy hinting). Leave it there and treat it as a lesson learned.

@EKGEMS
When I see people say loose instead of lose, it makes me cringe but you really shouldn't make fun of them like that. A lot of people on mumsnet have English as a second language so they're doing the best they can, or theyre dyslexic. Unless you're perfect all the time, you should be a bit nicer.

It’s an easy mistake EKGEMS. DM always says that if you haven’t anything nice to say, don’t say it.

should I just let this one go as thoughtless rather than rude? Maybe I should toughen up but this really upset me.

Yes.

I think the first and second comments were definitely rude/thoughtless and her being a bit dense to say the least, but the third comment about the way you were standing sounds like her trying to get out of an embarrassing situation without saying: “oh, sorry you really look pregnant.”

Having once made the same mistake with an old colleague when I met her in the street, I agree you should never ever mention a pregnancy unless the person concerned brings it up first.

As for an email, why not if it makes you feel better - you’ll probably get some vouchers at least.

I do understand why this was upsetting but I think this is one to let go. Not every thoughtless comment needs to result in customer training.

She broke the cardinal rule, do not mention pregnancy to anyone unless you see a baby's head coming out. Even if they are wearing these "baby on board" badge.

It wasn't an insult, it was clumsy .Let it go.

You should have said "I'm not pregnant, I just need to break violent wind, but trying my best not to do it next to the yoghurts".

I can understand why you'd be hurt, but honestly, she made a mistake. It was thoughtless of her, but you can't complain every time someone says something that upsets you. Save complaining for when someone does something actually malicious instead of the small slights.

daisy

I can't believe the comments on here about "losing the tummy fat" or whether or not the op looks pregnant.
She was minding her own business and some woman decided to pass comment on her body.
Op, I would complain. I think it's fucking outrageous.

A friend of mine asked an acquaintance when she was due. Acquaintance was slightly offended and said she wasn't pregnant, just suffering from unexplained bloating. The unexplained bloating was explained a few weeks later when she was rushed to A&E with stomach pains and emerged with an unexpected baby.

Just sayin'

Hahahaha woops

Well you are probably embarrassed at the truth that's why you took it this far. I would hate to think that someone's job might be jeopardized because you were embarrassed.

Maybe we should invent a new phrase:

'pregnant shaming'

@MadamMMA

I also have IBS and often look pregnant as its the swollen belly thing but otherwise relative slimness

Have you tried the FODMAP diet? I am about to start it after a dietician friend told me about it. It helps a lot of people with IBS

OP, do you want HO to look at CCTV footage and say 'yes, it was a reasonable assumption to have made'?
You looked pregnant to this lady.

Just leave it and stop being so sensitive.

There are millions of women out there who have been asked that questio. Yes it pissing off but hey ho.

But you're a lady, how dare she talk to a lady like that. I do wonder what the hell is happening to this site when I read stuff like this. Who are you people?