To complain about a thoughtless comment by supermarket worker?

[Sophiafaith63]

I was shopping with my daughter today and came across a lady giving out yogurt samples.

She asked if my daughter would like a sample then asked when her brother/sister was due! As I am not pregnant this was a very hurtful comment. I said I did not think that was a question you should put to a lady hoping she'd take the hint to leave the subject alone. However she then asked the same question again! I said I was not pregnant and repeated that this was not something you should say to a lady. Instead of an apology, she said it was just the way I was standing!

I was really upset by this and really want send an email to head office asking for this lady to be given training on how to speak to customers

Would this be reasonable or should I just let this one go as thoughtless rather than rude? Maybe I should toughen up but this really upset me.

I’d be really annoyed and I’d probably mention it

The woman in the chippy thought I was pregnant and gave me extra chips... I didn't correct her because I'm a greedy cow Had to stop going there after a while. The webs we weave and all that :D

Thanks to the posters who have suggested I need to lose weight. I am already fully aware of this and I am actively working on it, which is probably why it stung so much.

She was definitely an employee of the store as she was wearing their uniform. I was hurt and angry and wanted to express to the store in the hope they would remind their employees to be a bit more tactful. I haven't sent anything as after having some time to cool off I realise a complaint to the head office is unlikely to achieve much. If nothing else, she is unlikely to do the same thing again so I guess I have already achieved more than a complaint would anyway.

I’ve had this a couple of times and I’m not particularly chubby. I think ppl don’t think before they speak sometimes. I would definitely complain

Toughen up a bit OP.

Your vague answer when you should have just said I'm not pregnant. I've said, no no I'm not pregnant. Just fat. That usually does the trick.

Well done OP. Now have a nice weekend.

"Because it's relevant."

To what?

She tried to say you weren't fat enough to be mistaken for being pregnant but were standing in a way that made you look pregnant, I think that was a very embarrassed apology myself.

So you want her to lose her job because you were embarrassed?

I'm sure she didn't say it to be mean, maybe she thought you didn't hear her the first time , I think you are being touchy. UWBU to email the store about it.

If it makes you feel better my four your old keeps asking when the baby in my tummy will be born, I have explained to her that she and her brother stretched it and that's why is looks like that

I think what you're upset about is that you realise you look pregnant when you're not. I can understand that's hurtful to hear but it wasn't a malicious comment. Just a mistake.

She's probably been told to make conversation with customers as part of her training. When she realised her error she tried to make light of it by saying it was the way you were standing. Maybe she thought apologising might have drawn more attention to an embarrassing situation for both of you.

I don't think complaining will make you feel better. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt.

Blueskieslies How do you "loose" weight? Do you open the door and let it run out?

My pet hate that lose/loose thing.

OP her saying 'The way you were standing' isn't rude. Alternatives would be what, 'Oh sorry you must be just fat/have a big belly/have eaten a massive doughnut' -which of those would you prefer?
There's every chance she's socially awkward, because as a PP has said nobody really asks this unless they're sure. If you don' look pregnant & she asked this, she may struggle with her social skills in which case her job is probably hard for her-it may be the only one she's been able to get. She tried to struggle out of what she'd said and she might be mortified. Getting a bollocking off whomever is paid to give them out is not going to help her, or you.

YANBU for being upset; it is rather rude and it’s definitely thoughtless. It happened to me right after a miscarriage; DH and I went to get a nice cushioned chair for me to sit in the garden and the bloke said “ah lovely, you pregnant and want to put your feet up?” I was very upset but it didn’t cross my mind to complain to the store.

I would let it go and just be prepared with something pithy to say if it happens again. Some people just don’t engage brain before opening mouth.

She wasn't insulting you on purpose. She made a genuine error whilst actually trying to be nice. Laugh it off

I think it's very rude to ask someone if they are pregnant. Lots of people have a round belly for all kinds of reasons. I once ate a big dinner and then someone offered me a seat on the tube, I took it and scowled at them the whole journey.

Yes, it was rude. But I used to get this question on a weekly basis. They weren't really being rude, I actually looked slim but at least 6 months pregnant. I had an abdominoplasty in the end because I just couldn't handle how upset other people were when I corrected them. Their usual reaction was mortified. Nobody in 3 years tried to defend their assumption!

@midsomermurderess
Who in the name of god calls themselves a lady? OP obviously had a touch of the vapours today 🙄
@BabyDubsEverywhere
Love it 🤣🤣

Why didn't you just say to her I'm not pregnant I'm just fat?

If you're not fat and you don't look pregnant then she's nuts and you've got nothing to worry about.

Someone asked me when my baby was due, 3 months after my baby was born, I just pointed to my DS and went he's here 😂

A true Lady would never go behind someone's back in order to get them in trouble.

Why didn't you tell her how it made you feel?

If she had said it once and dropped it, I'd have let it go

I doubt this is true. No one likes to be told they look pregnant when they aren't..

I had it happen to me. Bloke hitting on my friend. She was trying to get rid. He would not stop, then sat at our table, we were both literally telling him to just fuck off. He then turned to me, sneered and said in a mock happy voice " oh you're pregnant!!!" staring at my stomach.

For info I'm a size ten to twelve and five foot eight. I don't look pregnant. I'm also fifty, so it would be highly unlikely. Clearly he did it to be offensive, but it still really stung. So I get thr upset. The thing is in your scenario she didn't mean to be offensive, the guy who said it to me did.

Let it go.

Oh, Get a life.

This has been posted about before by others and the responses were supportive to the OP.

Have no idea why some posters are being so unbelievably nasty to you OP What she said was rude and she wasn’t apologetic.

OP, there's no way you can stop people asking that question.

All you can do is change how you react to it.

Even if you complained about this one woman, what about a random at a bus stop? What about a well meaning person in a coffee shop? Someone in a supermarket queue?

The list of people who may potentially ask you if you're pregnant, is endless.

Just try to make peace with the fact that the majority of people are asking in good faith and very rarely as an insult.

Who in the name of god calls themselves a lady?

Someone who isn't!

Same with anyone using the word "classy".

I don’t think she was rude, I think she was a bit careless to ask and I understand why it upset you. I wouldn’t complain, she has a crap job and gets paid minimum wage. She didn’t mean any harm.