To complain about a thoughtless comment by supermarket worker?

[Sophiafaith63]

I was shopping with my daughter today and came across a lady giving out yogurt samples.

She asked if my daughter would like a sample then asked when her brother/sister was due! As I am not pregnant this was a very hurtful comment. I said I did not think that was a question you should put to a lady hoping she'd take the hint to leave the subject alone. However she then asked the same question again! I said I was not pregnant and repeated that this was not something you should say to a lady. Instead of an apology, she said it was just the way I was standing!

I was really upset by this and really want send an email to head office asking for this lady to be given training on how to speak to customers

Would this be reasonable or should I just let this one go as thoughtless rather than rude? Maybe I should toughen up but this really upset me.

Plus OP didn't say she wasn't pregnant twice, she said 'That's not a question you ask a lady' first

I’m sorry this happened but what do you want to achieve? Her embarrassment should make her think twice about saying it again, there’s no need to try to get the woman in trouble at work for a thoughtless comment.

is anyone else envisaging David Walliams every time they read the word 'lady'?

No but I am now! :)

can I have an extra sample?

It happens it is not nice but a mistake I don't she'll make the same mistake again.
This often happened to Dsis when she heavy.
I had a similar experience when I saw a pregnant colleague, I said still no sign, she answered I actually gave birth last week, she was very hurt, I was mortified.

I would ignore it. I highly doubt she was trying to insult you. I expect she would have been mortified even if she didn't seem it.

I think you should complain. It's never appropriate to make personal remarks especially to people you don't know. If she hasn't worked this out on her own by adulthood it's going to hold her back her whole life so additional training will benefit both her and future customers. Even worse that she then carried on arguing her point!

You felt insulted by what she said, but she didn’t insult you, she made a mistake, which is a really different thing. She didn’t apologise because she was so embarrassed and desperate to back pedal.

were you wearing a lot of layers? or as a pp said shoplifting some food under your coat?

I was really upset by this and really want send an email to head office asking for this lady to be given training on how to speak to customers

Did she actually have a store uniform on? Just wondering as many instore demonstrators that are in the big supermarket giving samples out don’t work for the store, they are agency staff hired by the company they are giving out the samples of.

YANBU to be annoyed, I had an old colleague I hadn’t seen for years ask me about my pregnancy when I bumped into her. She was suitable mortified when I replied”I’m just fat”.

Oh op I get it because it's happened to me but you need to toughen up a bit.

About 20 years ago when I was 21 I was in the Customer services queue in M and S just after Christmas, returning something.
The queue was huge and lots of people started chatting.

The lady behind me started talking to me and asked when I was due. In my panic and embarrassment I said the first thing that came out of my head which was "November"- 11 months away!!

Once it dawned on us both we didn't say another word but that was the longest queue of my life.
One of my skinniest friends can look pregnant when she's due on, she's tiny normally but bloats massively. Don't take it to heart.

Due you look pregnant?

I'm very slim but can look pregnant if I'm bloated.

Why are people defending the woman & asking Op could she look pregnant etc?

When will people learn that it just isn't something that you ask?

Ring and complain. You deserve a free shopping voucher!
No, seriously I would be upset too. She shouldn't be working with the public with such poor manners.

Instead of an apology, she said it was just the way I was standing!

That's probably awkwardness, or she may have felt that "it's the way you were standing" sounds better than alternatives. I wouldn't worry about that, but yes it is hurtful

If you look pregnant though it isn't that of an odd question to ask, she was only making small talk. When I was pregnant strangers would ask me "when's the baby due?" it's just making conversation.

I'm very careful when I think someone is pregnant, I wouldn't personally say anything until there is clearly a football sized bump or the person drops it into the conversation.

If you complain you'll just make yourself look silly.

It was really clumsy of her. Probably not malicious, though, and not deliberately rude. I would let it go.

I also have IBS and often look pregnant as its the swollen belly thing but otherwise relative slimness

She put her foot in her mouth. It happens. Grow up and move on. Jeez.

She put her foot in her mouth. It happens. Grow up and move on. Jeez.

Or maybe you could get a grip?

Hell's teeth, are people reading the same OP as me? She was rude OP. She put her foot in it, didn't take the hint, and then continued to dig herself into a hole. You are right to be annoyed, and I would tend to fire off a short email to the supermarket. It's not anyway to win friends and influence people, or sell yoghurt for that matter. And for people saying 'just lose the fat'... Wow, just wow.....

"If you look pregnant though it isn't that of an odd question to ask,"

Of course it is!

It's absolutely none of her business.

There's so much else that can be said!

Wonder what personal questions she asks the men about their appearance!

Some of the people on this thread sound socially incompetent, if you think this is ok. Genuinely, do people go round asking strangers about their non-existent pregnancies?

I don't think she'll ever say that to anyone again. Which is all that you (presumably) want to achieve?
Or do you want her to be punished?

Presumably you've never said a tactless thing or made a minor mistake at work, if the latter.