Turning down job because of location?

[allpanicnodisco2]

Hi,

Just looking for some insight because I’m really tearing my hair out over this.

I’m about to graduate and have been offered a job. It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training and professional qualifications. It would cost a lot of money to go through another route to get the same qualifications. I’m also really passionate about the work, which doesn’t happen a lot with first time grad jobs!

However, they can put you anywhere in the country, and I’m really unhappy where they’ve put me. I had my heart set on being in a big city and while it’s only around half an hour/40 minutes outside of the city, I will probably have to live at home with my parents as I will not be able to afford to rent in the city and commute out. This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport (I also hate driving). Social life is not massively important but I can’t see how I’d have a social life at all if I had to do this, I don’t know anyone where my parents live (which is mostly older people) or the town I’d work in. It’s also really not a nice place which in itself is not a problem but just adds to not really looking forward about doing the job.

It seems crazy to turn down a job because I don’t like where it is, and while I’m going to graduate with a good degree and a fair amount of work experience I don’t have any other offers at the moment. I also cannot leave the job for at least a year (complicated reasons). Should I just suck it up and do it for a year, or turn it down and look for something else?

Thanks!

at 45 mins being coNsidered a commute

Personally I would take the job and look at flat/house shares in the local area straight away instead of driving all that way each day. That way you will meet people who live in the area outside of work and take the stress out of the situation. You can then more easily cultivate a social life in the area too. It would seem best to me to throw yourself into the situation wholeheartedly. Best of luck!

You have got a job in a competitive industry. Congratulations.

1. You work hard. You deserve to give yourself the best opportunities to excel.
2. You have felt disappointed over the placement. Acknowledge your feeling. It’s not good or bad it’s just a feeling.
3. Now act from a place of choice- either make it work or reject the offer after you have found out concrete information and can make an informed choice.
4. Things you can influence: have some extra driving lessons to boost confidence. Practice the route at non rush hour times. Practice the route at rush hour when you don’t have to be there. See the time in the car as a chance to listen to audio books/podcasts/plan day/debrief from day.

Join one club where you live to make some friends. Go visit the placement in advance before making a rash choice to feel the atmosphere. Look for opportunities you would not have got going to London. Plan trips to London every two months to do specific sightseeing things (you would not do that if you lived there full time) Move to London in a year.

1. When you get there (if you go) there might be rooms to rent Monday- Friday. A lot of people do that around here.

Whatever you choose do not let the fear of ‘unknown what ifs’ be your deciding factors. Do your best to really think around the factors your can influence and change in concrete terms.

Also really ask yourself if you are looking for reasons to not take it because subconsciously you feel like you don’t deserve a place on the scheme.

Good luck

Quick name change just in case. I run graduate programmes and the number one reason for drop outs is homesickness. We also place graduates around the country, changing location over the course of the programme, and that has been difficult at one point or another for various reasons for at least three quarters of the people I take on, partly because of the type of work/unusual hours which you mention. I spoke to a few hotel graduate recruiters who said that their programmes only expect to retain 30-40% of entrants because of homesickness. They might have put you near your home town on purpose.

Should have said the number one dropout reason in my programmes is homesickness.

If the job is going to be a good stepping-stone for your future career, with training on offer for professional qualifications that you would otherwise have to finance by yourself, and you have no other opportunities on the horizon, I would suggest you suck it up for a year, see how it goes, and then move on if you really can't hack it. Good luck!

If you said the town maybe people would be able to help you on the best places to live there? Most areas have a sliding scale of dodgy! But go for it, really a year of your life is nothing to enable you to do a job you are passionate about for the rest of your life. Good luck!

DrinkFeckArseGirls surely no-one would drive into Reading they'd lost their will to live really quickly and the parking charges would bankrupt them

I drove into Reading given that there was free workplace parking.

There are regular threads about how cruel it is to move when it means kids having to adjust to a new environment and new schools. Sadly, it seems that this lack of resilience carry them through when they turn adult which is really sad.

Although in OP's case, it's not homesickness as much as being in a non exciting location rather than the buzz of city life. It will be much easier to find your perfect job in the perfect location in a few years time with the experience of that job that having the same opportunity being in the right city without the experiemce

@swingofthings then it’s not really lack of resilience then is it not sure what the point of your first para is

No it’s not Reading or Slough!

45 minutes is not a long commute

I would also rather drive in a car for 45 minutes than be reliant on public transport for the same length of time

@loobyloo1234

I know it’s not a long commute. I don’t like driving, as said above

This is such a non issue.

Take the job.
Live at home
Drive 45 mins each way (which is NOTHING!)

Or, take the job
Get a houseshare

Then when you can, later, move locations

It’s the first rung. Nothing is perfect. But TBH being a 45 min drive from your parents does sound pretty perfect to me!

You don’t like driving, you don’t like the location, there’s a lot about this you don’t like

You could have some lessons driving to help you get more confident. They could even drive the actual route with you.

Great post and advice from myohmywhatawonderfulday.

Take the job it sounds like a great opportunity. And a year is nothing if it doesn't suit.
When you have accepted you can ask lots of questions about the area, where people live who work there etc
Is it a graduate scheme? In which case there will be others in your boat. Quite often they'll put you in contact so you can share housing/look together/ get to know each other.
If not, I would do a shorter term rent in a shared house nearby.
Visit the area and get to know it
Even in high pressure jobs (I'd say especially in high pressure jobs!) there will be socialising. It will be good to be near your colleagues.
My graduate job friends are still some of my closest friends, and my DHs were best men at our wedding, and parents our our kids best friends now.
Be open.