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Original poster

Turning down job because of location?

193 replies

allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 12:43

Hi,

Just looking for some insight because I’m really tearing my hair out over this.

I’m about to graduate and have been offered a job. It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training and professional qualifications. It would cost a lot of money to go through another route to get the same qualifications. I’m also really passionate about the work, which doesn’t happen a lot with first time grad jobs!

However, they can put you anywhere in the country, and I’m really unhappy where they’ve put me. I had my heart set on being in a big city and while it’s only around half an hour/40 minutes outside of the city, I will probably have to live at home with my parents as I will not be able to afford to rent in the city and commute out. This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport (I also hate driving). Social life is not massively important but I can’t see how I’d have a social life at all if I had to do this, I don’t know anyone where my parents live (which is mostly older people) or the town I’d work in. It’s also really not a nice place which in itself is not a problem but just adds to not really looking forward about doing the job.

It seems crazy to turn down a job because I don’t like where it is, and while I’m going to graduate with a good degree and a fair amount of work experience I don’t have any other offers at the moment. I also cannot leave the job for at least a year (complicated reasons). Should I just suck it up and do it for a year, or turn it down and look for something else?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 16:45

No the jobs not in London. London is where I wanted to be. The place I have been offered is outside London.

OP posts:
MorondelaFrontera · 13/06/2019 16:45

Is your town inside zone 6, or completely out of it?

There are so very shitty parts of London you know, I wouldn't be that upset not to go there, and the nicer ones are extortionate.

Bluerussian · 13/06/2019 16:45

I've read through and I get you are nervous about driving. I'm the same so I sympathise.

In those circumstances, I don't know what I would do.

You say the city has a high crime rate, etc, but cities are usually big and have 'nice' areas. You could find somewhere to live in a pleasant area with good bus routes.

Do get to know the area a bit before starting the job, you may find it isn't nearly as bad as you anticipate.

Other than that, look elsewhere for a job and training opportunities. It's important to be happy and not nervous.

Smokesandeats · 13/06/2019 16:56

Sorry, I misunderstood. Will your work be in a town that’s near London (ie in the South East)? If so, rents are usually bit cheaper that being inside Greater London itself.

CassianAndor · 13/06/2019 17:02

ah right, sorry, my mistake. Well, without knowing any of the locations it's really hard to tell.

Louloubelle78 · 13/06/2019 17:03

1.5 hours of commuting each way is pretty standard for lots of people commuting into London. Sorry I feel like I am sounding a bit harsh but welcome to the real world. You have to start somewhere and put yourself out a bit to get what you want from life. You only have yourself to think about at the moment, so just get stuck in and make the most of it. As others have said save up and then rent somewhere closer. It takes time to build up to the lifestyle/ location/ job you ultimately want.

LizzieMacQueen · 13/06/2019 17:17

I too think you need to dive in.

Can you get some extra driving lessons and cover the route you'll be taking. Just to increase your confidence a bit.

If we're guessing, is it nursing?

SleepRegression · 13/06/2019 17:26

Maybe contact the office where your job is offered and ask their advice on places to live in the area or commutable affordable places? Local knowledge is invaluable! Going into the unknown is scary but the thought of doing it is often far worse than the reality, you can do it.

Taswama · 13/06/2019 17:48

Is it social work?

BrightYellowPostItNotes · 13/06/2019 17:58

@Louloubelle78 it’s 1.5 hours round trip!!

BrightYellowPostItNotes · 13/06/2019 18:03

Why on Earth are you going to do a 30-45 minute commute out of London? Take the tube, bus etc! Madness.

Also you say you wanted to be “in London” but London is a big city and it can take you 45 mins to get from one side to another. I don’t think you’re being very realistic.

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 18:07

I’m not doing a commute out of London. I wanted to be in London, but I’m in town outside. My parents live around 45 mins to an hour outside this town, which I have to drive to.

OP posts:
soulrider · 13/06/2019 18:19

It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training

It’s not something that lots of people want to go into and is very demanding

I'm baffled as to what the job is that can have a competitive application process whist being not something that lots of people want to go into. Off topic i know

ittooshallpass · 13/06/2019 19:33

You'd be mad not to take this opportunity. The job market is really tough out there.

Nothing is ever 100% perfect with any job, but you're young, single and have no dependants.

In the nicest possible way your reasons for not taking this opportunity are ridiculous. In years to come you'll look back and cringe.

Take the opportunity you're very lucky to have, use it as a step towards the career you want and for your own sake, learn to drive confidently.

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 20:36

I deliberately haven’t given away too much information, and I’m not going to say exactly what the industry is or where the town is (and I don’t want to offend the residents!) @soulrider it offers excellent training which is why it is so competitive, to get the same qualifications otherwise you’d need to go back to university at considerable cost and find it much more difficult to break into the role because you’d need experience. @ittooshallpass I haven’t said that I’m young, single and have no dependents. I’m not single, my partner is going to be in London which is another reason for me being apprehensive.

However, on the whole I do agree, I’m lucky to have this opportunity and will take it

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 13/06/2019 20:43

I bet it's Slough. Or Reading.

underneaththeash · 13/06/2019 20:51

Please do take it - it's only a year out of your life.

SusieOwl4 · 13/06/2019 21:02

just want to say I totally understand about the driving - I run my own company and have confidence in areas a lot of other people don't , but I hate driving and try and avoid going anywhere I am unfamiliar with . Just wanted to say I understand .

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 13/06/2019 21:07

After 3 days of driving you will know the route. Although my Waze always takes me different routes, 3 or 4 I think, still easy to get used to very quickly. Make sure you do a dry run in the morning before starting.

Hotterthanahotthing · 13/06/2019 21:22

A year will fly by and taking advantage of the advantages of the job this will help you direct where you want to go in the future.
Your commute is about average and if you use the same route in and out you will get confident with it and it will build up you confidence to drive more if you need to .
You make make friends with people at work,you may find flat shares or stay with your parents and save
Good luck,this is the beginning of an exciting new future.

funnylittlefloozie · 13/06/2019 21:28

Oh good grief, saying that you wanted to be in London is not exactly outing - its hardly like London has just a few thousand residents and four specific cottage industries!!! If you really want to work in London, have you considered applying for jobs that are solely located in London? This will reduce the risk of you suddenly being posted to Luton or Brighton or somewhere like that.

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 21:38

@funnylittlefloozie I meant I didn’t want to say the town they actually put me in.

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/06/2019 05:19

Take it with both hands! You'd be mad not to.... It's a year...

I've worked /trained all over... Spent 3 years of my life commuting 4 hours daily into a city that had a dodgy reputation... Do you know what happened...?? The city I thought was dodgy... Did have unpleasant areas... All cities/towns do... But once I got to k ow people and felt more settled I stopped noticing the city...

Some days I would stay over... I did a combination of travel lodge/airbnb when I was too tired/had major amounts of assignments to hand in.

You have an opportunity that sounds worthwhile for you... If you give this up for the dubious opportunity of a masters... Do you know how many people really struggle after a masters.?? Unless it's directly leading into employment /more funded training...

It's a very short time out of your life...

Would really really get used to driving... Do whatever it takes so you feel less anxious... You can have more lessons with a driving instructor... Several folk I know with anxieties around driving did this and it helped massively

Imnotbent · 14/06/2019 06:01

I don’t think you have the confidence to do the job but it’s the only job you’ve been offered so you are looking for an excuse not to take it.

A job offer with so many positives and progression at this early stage would have most people thinking how they could make it work not putting obstacles in their way.

You would soon get used to driving so improve on that skill too, it would be short term until you found a room to rent.

And you save a fortune in fees for qualifications, that alone should be enough compensation for the compromise.

Jimdandy · 14/06/2019 06:13

Lodge/rent a room in a shared house, take the job, get qualified and ask to transfer as soon as possible. Leave/move soon as you qualify