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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turning down job because of location?

193 replies

allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 12:43

Hi,

Just looking for some insight because I’m really tearing my hair out over this.

I’m about to graduate and have been offered a job. It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training and professional qualifications. It would cost a lot of money to go through another route to get the same qualifications. I’m also really passionate about the work, which doesn’t happen a lot with first time grad jobs!

However, they can put you anywhere in the country, and I’m really unhappy where they’ve put me. I had my heart set on being in a big city and while it’s only around half an hour/40 minutes outside of the city, I will probably have to live at home with my parents as I will not be able to afford to rent in the city and commute out. This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport (I also hate driving). Social life is not massively important but I can’t see how I’d have a social life at all if I had to do this, I don’t know anyone where my parents live (which is mostly older people) or the town I’d work in. It’s also really not a nice place which in itself is not a problem but just adds to not really looking forward about doing the job.

It seems crazy to turn down a job because I don’t like where it is, and while I’m going to graduate with a good degree and a fair amount of work experience I don’t have any other offers at the moment. I also cannot leave the job for at least a year (complicated reasons). Should I just suck it up and do it for a year, or turn it down and look for something else?

Thanks!

OP posts:
AnthonyCrowley · 13/06/2019 13:43

If you use this position for qualifications/progression it will be much easier to land a better job in 24 or even 12 months time.

avalanching · 13/06/2019 13:43

Having just seen your latest post, as someone who had a similar option of postgrad straight after uni or traineeship I would hands down say traineeship first. I know your sector may be different to mine, but as an employer experience is PARAMOUNT, presumably there will be a plethora of people with a postgrad qual, but you would have the experience and presumably the qualification in 2 years. Anyone can get onto a postgrad (within reason) limited people will get onto traineeships. I really can;t stress the value.

CassianAndor · 13/06/2019 13:43

I don't understand - you said you could have been placed anywhere in the country? Do you know every city where you might have been placed?

anothernotherone · 13/06/2019 13:44

allpanicnodisco2 you know people in every city in the UK? Or is "the city" The square mile in London?

dimsum123 · 13/06/2019 13:45

Snowflake millenial.

Taswama · 13/06/2019 13:46

Spare room.co.uk has rooms in houses and worth a look.

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 13:47

No I wasn’t looking for a very specific location. I’d happily do an hour each way on the train, but I’d have to drive. I’d also live with strangers but, as I say, very deprived area/very high crime rates. It’s not the sort of place many would want to move to. My salary wouldn’t cover renting a studio alone. Again, I’d be happy to move in with people I didn’t known but would prefer to do a couple of months commuting before I decided

OP posts:
MorondelaFrontera · 13/06/2019 13:48

then... commute if that's what you prefer. It's really not that far.

I am not sure what your question is?

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 13:48

Snowflake millennial 😂

Anyway thanks everyone

OP posts:
Kaykay06 · 13/06/2019 13:48

Sounds an amazing opportunity and 45 mins isn’t bad I do that most days to work - am a nurse so long hours but I leave early finish late so roads are ok. Whilst you’re young with no ties best time to do something like this and you might find you make friends and find somewhere nice to live but worth a try to gain extra experience and qualifications.
We all have to make sacrifices to get what we want, I did nursing course with a 5 month old baby which was hard but I got there in the end and have a good job to show for it now he’s 18

Singingcricket · 13/06/2019 13:50

I’ve had some interviews but none have the same opportunities for qualifications/progression

I think you have answered your own question op! Smile

I think the points made below about being able to grab more opportunities if you are in an unpopular posting and being able to rent on a week-day only basis are really good points! A family member of mine rents out her top floor to a week day only tenant and it's in a really lovely house! You might as well if you are going to be working long hours anyway. Why not have a wee look on Gumtree or wherever and see what's available?

MorondelaFrontera · 13/06/2019 13:51

very deprived area/very high crime rates.
is it Croydon? Grin

(just referring to another thread about that very area)

MRex · 13/06/2019 13:52

What exactly did you think you'd get as a first job, a 30 hour per week directorship for £100k just a 5 minute walk from the flat your best mate will rent that has a spare room? You're just figuring out that work can take up significant effort and time, as well as commuting; that's just life I'm afraid and you may as well accept it because moaning won't help. If you don't want to drive then rent a shared room, then if you don't like that one just move to another one. Those of us who didn't have money from parents grew up sharing flats until we earned enough to live independently; in the distant past it would have been lodging / boarding houses, there have never been cheap flats for first time workers so you really aren't especially deprived having to share. Sharing can be great; sometimes you make lifelong friends and actually enjoy it.

CassianAndor · 13/06/2019 13:53

I'm still utterly baffled. You could have ended up in a city 200 miles away. You would have had to have rented in that location straight away.

anothernotherone · 13/06/2019 13:53

So the plan was always to live with your parents and take trains to cities an hour away?

Where do you mean when you keep writing "the city" as you say you don't mean one specific city, but that you would know people in "the city"?

You sound as though you're living in a fairy tale tbh - its impossible to understand exactly what you wanted.

Surely doing a master's will just delay the situation and you'll be in exactly the same dilemma in a year's time, looking for some incomprehensible vague perfectly located job an hour by train from your parents house in "the city" which isn't one specific city but where you know people.

Take the job. Rent a room on on Spareroom.com short term in the town.

Don't drive if that's your biggest worry.

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 13:53

I do know I’d have to pay in the city 😂 but would also be paid significantly more.

Yes I probably am looking for excuses because the job makes me very nervous. It’s not something that lots of people want to go into and is very demanding

OP posts:
Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 13:54

No I do mean a particular city

OP posts:
MRex · 13/06/2019 13:57

You say you're nervous about the job because "It’s not something that lots of people want to go into", is the real problem here that you're applying for a job and you aren't sure if that's what you actually want? You might need to say what the career is roughly and what you originally hoped to get from it. It's ok to change direction, it's an ideal time to do that actually if you realise this isn't the career you want.

Singingcricket · 13/06/2019 13:57

In to the frying pan op! You can do it! Smile

Do they have a mentoring scheme?

SilverySurfer · 13/06/2019 13:57

dimsum123 With bells on.

BloodyForeigner · 13/06/2019 13:57

Gah, I hate threads like this.
OP: I have a problem
Other posters: come up with lots of possible solutions
OP: No, none of those possible solutions could possibly work for me, I won’t even consider them. Oh, woe is me with my impossible problem.

Isatis · 13/06/2019 13:57

It sounds as if you'd be insane to turn it down. You would be turning down potentially thousands of pounds for the sake of a year when you might or might not have a better social life. If you want to share with other people, you could either spend a couple of months commuting, or get an B&B or bedsit for a short time initially. If you don't like the town but don't mind a train journey, maybe look to get accommodation slightly outside the town near a station.

jackstini · 13/06/2019 13:58

Where is the job based?

You might find a lovely mumsnetter you could rent a room off!

Original poster
allpanicnodisco2 · 13/06/2019 13:59

I honestly am not looking for a dream location/perfect salary or anything. You have to make sacrifices, I am aware. The salary is very low which doesn’t massively bother me

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 13/06/2019 14:05

Stop applying for jobs you don't want!

Change is tricky. Graduating is a big moment in your career. The excellent news though is that although this seems like a momentous decision, actually it's not. You've got a whole career ahead of you and you'll probably make some mistakes, switch direction a few times, all that stuff.

Take the job. Make a plan between now and the start date. You'll be fine.