Turning down job because of location?

[allpanicnodisco2]

Hi,

Just looking for some insight because I’m really tearing my hair out over this.

I’m about to graduate and have been offered a job. It’s a really good one, it was a very competitive application process and will offer excellent training and professional qualifications. It would cost a lot of money to go through another route to get the same qualifications. I’m also really passionate about the work, which doesn’t happen a lot with first time grad jobs!

However, they can put you anywhere in the country, and I’m really unhappy where they’ve put me. I had my heart set on being in a big city and while it’s only around half an hour/40 minutes outside of the city, I will probably have to live at home with my parents as I will not be able to afford to rent in the city and commute out. This means around at least an hour and a half commute per day, in the car as there’s no public transport (I also hate driving). Social life is not massively important but I can’t see how I’d have a social life at all if I had to do this, I don’t know anyone where my parents live (which is mostly older people) or the town I’d work in. It’s also really not a nice place which in itself is not a problem but just adds to not really looking forward about doing the job.

It seems crazy to turn down a job because I don’t like where it is, and while I’m going to graduate with a good degree and a fair amount of work experience I don’t have any other offers at the moment. I also cannot leave the job for at least a year (complicated reasons). Should I just suck it up and do it for a year, or turn it down and look for something else?

Thanks!

I said I’d take the job/think about renting in the area- miss that bit? However, the problems are still there- it’s definitely not perfect and I’m set for a pretty difficult year.

It’s not that it’s not what I want- I really do, it’s that it’s a bloody difficult one. I’ve had not much support with going into the field and a lot of people have tried to discourage me but I’m doing it because I think it’ll be worthwhile. It still makes me really anxious, I’m worried I’m making the wrong decision and the location is far from ideal (not Croydon which I would’ve been happy with!)

Anyway, you’ve all been helpful- especially talking about the value of experience. Most people in my position haven’t got jobs yet so I’m lucky. Into the frying pan I go

You think the job is difficult, it's low paid and it isn't in the area you want. What is it that you do want from this career? What is it that makes you think this is the right direction for you? What is it that you can do after your training? It would be useful if you had some positives as it all sounds rather bleak!

I would say do this job for a year and then reassess your options. You are in a great position as a graduate to have a job offer particularly one that means you will be doing work that you are passionate about.

The fact you have said it will provide you the opportunity of gaining excellent training and professional qualifications that would be costly to pursue via another route is a strong reason to take this job even for the short term. You have said that you have no other offers presently so I really think you would be unwise to decline this offer.

45 minutes commute each way per day is manageable especially if it is only potentially for a year. Just keep reminding yourself that this is a stepping stone that will hopefully lead to your career progression.

I know you are not keen on living with strangers but this is a situation that thousands of people who want/have to live in cities find themselves in. Moving into a shared house with strangers might be daunting as it can initially be awkward but it can often lead to unexpected friendships. If you really don't want to live with your parents and want to be more independent then a flat share could be a great solution, maybe when you start work you might be able to sort a shared living arrangement with colleagues in the same position.

9 months ago DD found herself homeless 3 weeks before starting her employer funded course in London after her living arrangements suddenly changed. She had to come back home and look remotely online for accommodation and secure a flat share without viewing the property or meeting the flat mates. It was daunting but she kept in mind that it was only for a year then she would be in a position to change her situation. Her flat is a bit grotty, her flatmates are nice but she doesn't see a lot of them and her commute is around 50 mins on a packed non air conditioned tube line. She knows her situation is temporary, in a few months she will have more options and she sees it as par for the course when you are just starting working life.

@MRex because i know that I’d be doing a job that is really rewarding and has the opportunity to help a lot of people, which is much more important than a big salary for me

@SunburstsOrMarbleHalls thanks so much, that’s exactly what i needed to hear

If you accept the job and live at home, commuting as you say, you will either find that it’s quite doable, or that it’s a bit of a pain. By then, you might have become more familiar with the new environment and the people you’re working with and there might be opportunities to find somewhere to live independently.

I think that, when you first graduate, you have to accept what you’re offered. So many graduates can’t find jobs related to their field at all.

If you really find it impossible after a few months, there may be options for a transfer, or even another post, but you’ll at least have a little experience under your belt.

Will there be a group of you starting in this location? Can you reach out to them and or last years intake to find out what they are doing (or did and about local housing options)?

You can look for a cheap airb&b, youth hostel or lodge with someone of you don't want to commit long term to living there.

Isn't living with strangers a rite of passage when you're young?

I currently live in a very grotty flat with people I didn’t know previously, I’d happily do that again. But, as I said- I’d like to get to know the area a bit before I make any decisions about moving.

If the job is "rewarding" then you should feel happy to do it, not anxious. Lots of jobs help people, you don't need to be a martyr to help others if you won't personally enjoy the role. Try again, what will YOU enjoy about this career? What will be good within this first year (just the qualification?) and what will be good in future years?

Take the job.

Suck up the commute for the first couple of months while you find out more about the city in question. Post on the relevant local MN board to find out more about the city in question. Then you will be better informed to find a flatshare. Use some of the money you'll be saving on rent for those first couple of months to pay for a few refresher / advanced driving lessons to help you feel more confident behind the wheel and less stressed about driving to work.

You are in an incredibly lucky position to find a traineeship in a career you're passionate about with opportunities for further qualifications - do not let this pass.

Some posters are coming over as less than sympathetic because honestly, a 45 minute - one hour commute each way for a year or so is no big deal these days, and at the moment you're in the fortunate position of not (apparently) having any other major commitments - e.g. children/other caring responsibilities - that you have to fit it round.

Oh I think is entirely reasonable to feel anxious going in to a first job, and a demanding one at that, in a strange area. Op's already said it is working in a field she is passionate about.

Good luck op. It'll be ok! And if it isn't, you are by the sound of it young enough to switch course! No decision is the "right" one really in the end, if you have your health and energy you can always take off in a different direction [old grey mare advice] . Hope it goes well for you!.

Take the job.

Fully aware I sound like a bit of a drama queen about the commute- I’m just very anxious 😬 I’m definitely no snowflake and I’m not even a millennial

@Singingcricket thank you so much!

Most people in my position haven’t got jobs yet so I’m lucky. Into the frying pan I go

I'm glad you've taken onboard the comments, in 12-18 months your CV will be stronger, enabling you to progress in your career and hopefully able to access newportunities in better geographical locations.

Congratulations in securing a job and good luck

If you are on a graduate trainee program it could be that the company has some flats which they rent out to their trainees - the company I work for does this as does DP's and a number of our friends. It's worth asking. The people you would end up sharing with might be strangers but you would at least have something in common.

Or if you decide to stay at home and commute I'd suggest that you start to practice the commute. This way you should be less daunted by it when you come to actually start doing it.

It sounds like a great first opportunity though OP. Well done securing it

I've gone through this recently. My tips are: suck up the commute, live with your parents for now. Trust me, the stability is worth it. I say that as someone who was in the middle of a move with delays etc when I started my job. When you have started you can meet the other grads and get to know them as well as people in the area outside of work. Invest time and effort in networking and making friendships at this point. Around 3 months in, when the job has settled and you know the area you should start to look for housing that will get you out of the driving commute.
To not go for the opportunity would be silly. You can always change jobs onto another grad scheme the following year. I did so and I'm much better off for it as I didn't love my 1st job out of uni.

As you say the town you will be working in has a high crime rate I would stay with your parents. I also think if you are driving the same route every day, the routine may very well be what helps you to regain your confidence in driving, which will be a positive.

You are seriously sounding like an entitled young person. SUck it up. Take the job. Focus on it for a couple of years and then look for other opportunities or by then, by saving hard you may be able to afford a place nearby.

OP, you may find this helpful. I recently had eye surgery and didn’t drive at all for four months. I was frightened witless at the prospect of driving again. As it turned out, completely unnecessarily. It was fine. By the time you’ve driven to work and back for a week, you’ll wonder what you were worried about. The more you drive, the easier to gets.

A few years ago, I worked a long way from home and was a Monday to Friday lodger in a lovely house with the nicest couple in the world. I was there for 16 months and we’re still friends.

Just go for it.

@poopypants I don’t think I’m entitled to anything. It’s a difficult job with pretty much a minimum wage salary, in a less than ideal location. I want to make sure I’m making the right decision.

Oh fhs, even in town's with high crime rates, there will be decent people residing there as well you know! I grew up in a city which regularly has one of highest murder rates in the UK and still managed to have a perfectly safe and relatively "normal" upbringing. You just have to be reasonably vigilant and take sensible precautions.

No one can tell you if that kind of job is the right decision.

But if you only have one offer, which is still a reasonable one obviously, I am not sure what you think the choice can be?
Take it, or not take it but then do what?

Making the right decision would apply if you had had at least 2 offers. It seems you have only received one.

I would definitely suck it up. It's so important to get some good experience under your belt these days. Are you sure you can't afford to live in the nearest city, have you checked house share prices etc? Or even considered living close to where the job is and being able to go into the city at weekends? Once you have a year work experience it will be so much easier to either move jobs or get them to relocate you. Good luck!

How much is the salary?

What the value/ cost of the training?

I'm guessing from everything you've said it's teach first. So you'll be gaining QTS and a PGDE if you stick it out for 2 years? Are you primary, so not eligible for a bursary doing normal teacher training?