Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

[Cantfindaname123]

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

Any possibility your DM is stoking her rage?!

My sister called one of her children the same as one of mine, I have no problem with it at all. We say 'big Tom' and and 'little Tom (not real name) my son likes it too.

A friend's SIL called her son exactly the same name as my friend's son. That was something to get upset about and extremely thoughtless because my friend's baby died shortly after he was born, so to have a nephew with exactly the same first name and same surname was like a knife wound for her.

But otherwise no - and the two girls might end up with quite different nicknames.

I have 4 sisters and we actually all have the same first name. We each go by first name+middle name

Too similar for me, so I wouldn't have chosen the name. If you didn't get on well before this will only make it worse.

The only set of cousins in our family which didn't have a son called John was the family with the father who was a John. I think it used to be entirely normal for there to be 'family names'.

I don't think Arabella and Isabella are really that similar.

Bizarre thing to get upset about.

e don't have a NN yet but it will probably be Bella.

As long as you’re ok with your DN potentially becoming Bella as well. Be it through choice, classmates etc...

I don’t think you were wrong. but I guess I can see why she might be upset (especially if your relationship is already iffy).

Then again, I’m related to a Julian, a Guiliana and a Yulia and we are currently considering Julian (and Julius) for our DC. And there are more names like that in my family...

I don't know why people get so annoyed about names. It was very common place years ago to name your child after a family member, or name them something similar. My son is named after a cousin, my brother has the same name as another cousin, 2 other cousins with the same name, uncle named after his dad, my dad named after an uncle, my mum and all her siblings are named after aunts and uncles. People are so precious about names now it's ridiculous.

Given your updates, no wonder she is pissed off. She think it's calculated to get at her rather than you liked the name.

Peregrina , your poor friend! That's a completely different situation.

Espain are you all Tribbiani sisters?🤣

She's being ridiculous and your Mum's even worse - she's encouraging this nonsense. You're well out of it.

There's a Georgette Heyer novel called Arabella, it's a lovely name. Congratulations on your wee girl.

Should have read the whole thread....

My sister was (and still is) the favourite, and I do admit feeling very jealous towards her, sometimes admittedly taking it out on her without meaning to. This has almost definitely caused the problems in our relationship, and of course DM is taking her side, saying that I stole the name

No wonder she’s angry. Especially because it seems like you’re from a family that doesn‘t reuse names (in the same generation).

In that context:

I would recommend to not use the nn Bella for your child.

Go with Ari, AB or something entirely different.

I have 4 sisters and we actually all have the same first name. We each go by first name+middle name

What?

Mary-Ellen
Mary-Frances
Mary-Jane
Mary-Anne

I've met cousins called Leia and Layla. They were at the park with their grannie who was really struggling to say both names - it was a bit red lorry/yellow lorry.

In 20 years time, as cousins, they will be having SUCH a great laugh at it together. YANBU IMO :)

Totally different name.

They're different names. YANBU

I probably wouldn't have as quite similar however very petty not to talk to you. That's ridiculous.

I think she is being ridiculous - they are both gorgeous names. I think Isabella sounds very english and arabella sounds very exotic so I do't think of them being exactly the same at all. I think its actually quite cute they are similar in age and their names sound great together! My b'n'law married someone with a little boy with the same name as my son - we just call one big X and the other little X. No big deal.

Peregrina I know of a similar upsetting case. A friend was pregnant, and had always planned to call her baby a certain unusual name - all her friends and family knew about this as she’d mentioned it repeatedly. She had a mate who was several months further along and tragically had a stillbirth, and this mate used my friend’s chosen name for her stillborn child. Obviously she was perfectly entitled to do so but my friend was quite upset as she then felt unable to use the name she’d long planned to use but at the same time felt very unreasonable and guilty to be upset.

As part of the reason I didn't called DD2 Lara was because my nan would have granddaughters called Tara and Lara if I did I'm leaning to your sisters side

I wouldn't have stopped talking to you about it though but I'd have thought it a little odd (not rude, but odd)

They are not the same name, the nicknames will make them completely different.

I would send her a note to say you are sorry she is upset and reiterate the above. End it with a 'look forward to seeing you at the next family gathering'mand then leave it at that.

If she carries on then its just bloody ridiculous.

@Eistigi it’s a catholic Mediterranean thing I think

We are:
María Ascensión= Mary Assumption (into heaven)
María Esperanza= Mary Hope
María Belén= Mary Bethlehem

María Pilar= Mary Pillar (of the church)
María Inmaculada= Mary Immaculate

Our brother is just Hugo

Your DSIS should count herself lucky OP

Given your update I think you anticipated that this would happen and were testing your sister and mother.

I was never the favourite so I feel a bit sorry for you.

But it's not the end of the world. It is just a name. They will get used to it. Leave them to stew.

Enjoy your baby.

I have 37 first cousins (huge Irish family) most of us are called Pat. You dont own a name just because you used it for your DC. OP your family sounds like it has some difficult family dynamics going on, if I was you I would just focus on your own little unit.
Congratulations

YANBU, they are different names, and you are entitled to called your DD whatever you want.
I actually called my son the same name as my brothers son, it was the only name that both me and DH liked. I didn't care because my brother lives miles away and we never ever see them.