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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

290 replies

Cantfindaname123 · 12/06/2019 16:52

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 12/06/2019 17:02

Names changed, but my DD is called, say, Elise Anna. Sil called her DD when she had her Elsie Anne.
Truly as similar as that

Even 3 yr old DD was asking, "Why's she got my name?".

Wasn't cross but felt it was odd.

moonpiggle · 12/06/2019 17:03

Shes being unreasonable..its a different name. If you both used Bella then maybe that would get complicated.

user27495824 · 12/06/2019 17:04

Hmm. Different full names but the same nickname? That is a massive Faux Pas. I'm not surprised your sister is upset.

PumpkinPie2016 · 12/06/2019 17:04

It is very similar so I can sort of understand her being a bit out out. Not speaking for 3 months is a bit extreme though.

I had an even worse situation with my sister who we all see quite regularly.

My son was born in Nov with her second son being born the following Jan. She pretty much named her son exactly the same as mine!!Angry

I won't use the real name but essentially my son is David and hers is Dave. Literally a shortened version of the name of my son.

She could very easily have picked a different name and I was angry and tbh it still grates but it is what it is.

So, I sort of think YABU.

HiJuice · 12/06/2019 17:06

Similar happened in our family and I don't think the parents of the new baby even realised the name was similar to its slightly older cousin (same first syllable, different second syllable). I'm not sure anyone in the family realised except me. Certainly no one was annoyed. We think it's cute!

user1487194234 · 12/06/2019 17:06

If I was your sister I would be very upset that you feel we are not close so it doesn't matter about the similar name.The name would irritate me,possibly,although I would say Nothing

PuppyMonkey · 12/06/2019 17:06

My sister was a bit cross with me when I called my DD Esme, because she said it was too much like her DD Emily. Blush She got over it.

Freddiefox · 12/06/2019 17:07

I’d be upset, there are so many names in the world that you could have used.

PanteneProV · 12/06/2019 17:08

Totally different names! I can’t bear people exerting ownership over names anyway, but now people are claiming rights over all similar names too?! It’s absurd.

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/06/2019 17:08

I have two nieces with similar names, no one bothered by it. Your sister is being odd especially if her child is usually called Issy.

mbosnz · 12/06/2019 17:09

Personally I think the names Arabella and Isabella go together beautifully!

FizzyGreenWater · 12/06/2019 17:10

There was a massive thread on here years ago where the OP's DD was Isabella Eve and her SIL named her DD Isabelle Eva!

Now that is weird.

Yours is fine OP, ignore her. She's going to have more to worry about when she goes to baby groups and discovers that roughly 50% of the cohort are Isabella. (The rest will be Evie, Olivia and Isla).

Peachsummer · 12/06/2019 17:12

If DN is called Izzy then your sister is BU. Regardless of whether you choose Ari, Bella, Belle, etc it isn’t the same.

Missingstreetlife · 12/06/2019 17:13

Our family has lots of actual duplicates, some married in but some chosen. It's fine.

Lizzie48 · 12/06/2019 17:15

I don't get the issue at all. The only thing I would say is that if the grandparents decide that they want to use the full names, they may end up calling your DD Isabella and your DNiece Arabella. Now that would be annoying. Grin

mysteryfairy · 12/06/2019 17:15

DH’s brother had a DD called Isabel three months before my DD was born. Up until that point Annabel was our planned name but we decided it was far too similar and DD has a completely different name. There are two incidences of girl/boy cousins with effectively the same name in our (big) family too - Joseph and Josephine and Keira and Ciaran. Both grated for the parents of the older child but no one bothered to fall out or take sides!

Symbol · 12/06/2019 17:15

I think it would have been fine for you to use Isabella if you wanted. There are plenty of repeated names in my family. People can call their child whatever they want.

Whatsername7 · 12/06/2019 17:15

I teach twins called Isabella and Arabella. NN are Izzy and Bella. I think your DSis is being U.

Original poster
Cantfindaname123 · 12/06/2019 17:17

The only reason I mention the far away part is I think the similar sounding names would be more of an issue if we saw each other every day, and they might go to the same school, and so on. 'Isabella and Arabella are playing fairies' does sound a bit odd I do admit that but as her DD is Issy anyway, I thought it would be ok.

I don't get on with my sister at the best of times- deep rooted issues stemming from favouritism in childhood. I didn't realise it would be such an issue when I picked the name, it is a name I have liked for years, although I do concede that I may be BU.

OP posts:
Frusty · 12/06/2019 17:17

My db and my cousin have exactly the same name. Never an issue.

Purpleartichoke · 12/06/2019 17:19

Way too similar. I would not have used that name when there was already a related one in the family. Saying that you hardly see them so it is ok just makes it worse because the standard line should be that you hardly see them, but of course you wish you got to see them more.

It’s annoying enough that my sister and my husband’s brother gave all their kids similar or matching names and that only impacts us being related to both sides. Not the actual names but both sides have a Julie, and one each with Jaylen and Jayden.

Pollymollyholly · 12/06/2019 17:19

She’s being OTT. It’s a different name. YANBU!

princesspiipii · 12/06/2019 17:19

I have exactly the same name as my cousin, we are the same age too. I dont think my mum or her brother ever fell out over us having the same name Hmm

PintOfBovril · 12/06/2019 17:20

They're both lovely names! Might steal Arabella actually for my DC haha! I don't actually think they're very similar but I also don't think it'd even be a big deal if they were the same name. No one really has the rights to a name, DSis is going to come across plenty of other isabellas and she'll have to get over that. Sounds more to do with her issues with you and probably another reason to stay clear.

IABUQueen · 12/06/2019 17:23

But why is is a big deal ?!