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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

290 replies

Cantfindaname123 · 12/06/2019 16:52

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

OP posts:

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 12/06/2019 17:23

This happened to us, but with much more similar names. I'm still genuinely very upset about it.

dottiedodah · 12/06/2019 17:24

I think the fact you dont get on with your sister very well is at play here TBH.The deep rooted issues from childhood have taken root .If you only see her now and then what is the issue ?Its not like they will be at the same school together.As you have named her now anyway just need to move on .Try not to let it worry you.By Christmas she may have got over it a bit!.

MorondelaFrontera · 12/06/2019 17:24

I know you don't own a name, but I think people who chose similar are very stupid - unless they are using something really meaningful like mother's or grand-mother's name.

Isabella and Arabella are a bit close, but not identical. You would have been BU to chose "Isabelle" but Arabella you can just about get away with it.

Your sister is over-reacting a bit, ultimately you have the youngest, it's obvious who copied who.

KinderSurpriseBump · 12/06/2019 17:24

I have the same first name as my cousin, now that I'm thinking about it. Only different middle names. It was never a problem in my family because everybody would call us by our first and middle name together.

BlueMerchant · 12/06/2019 17:24

I probably wouldn't have picked it as it is very similar but get that as she's Izzy then it's really not much of an issue. Certainly not worth not talking to you over.

Pinkmouse6 · 12/06/2019 17:25

Not the same name, it has the same name at the end of course but not the same name. If you had named your DD Isabelle she’d have a point. Both nice names so at least you both have good taste .

My DP’s best friend’s partner found out she was pregnant a fortnight after our DS was born and they said if it was a boy, they’d be calling him a diminutive of our DS’s name. I don’t want to our myself but basically imagine my DS is Alfred and they wanted to use Alfie. I was very upset by this and pleased they’re having a girl .

People do find names very personal but your sister is being a bit ridiculous here.

Babyduck2 · 12/06/2019 17:26

She's been pathetic, my cousin has the same name as me, same spelling too (the kind of name that has 10 different spellings) and no one gives a shit. It's a name, she doesn't own it.

Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 12/06/2019 17:30

If both girls were going to be called Bella in daily life I guess DSis might have a point but Isabella and Arabella, not a problem imo.

I know cousins who have same first name and same surname. There's about ten years' age gap. Nobody was upset by this.

MerryMarigold · 12/06/2019 17:31

Who was the favourite?

TooManyPaws · 12/06/2019 17:32

Pffftt. I have two female cousins with the same name and two male cousins with the same name. Both on the same side of the family and no one has ever commented or got confused, mainly because we all live at a distance from each other.

Isabella and Arabella sound like cute sibling names or twins as a PP mentioned, particularly given that they will have different nicknames. Your sister is being daft.

Eistigi · 12/06/2019 17:32

It's funny to me how much people to names. I have two cousin Davids, both ok the same side. And a cousin Zara and Tara.
No one batted an eyelid in the 80's.

Troels · 12/06/2019 17:33

We have three cousins in our family with the same name, think James, James and Jamie. Only another name. No one seemed to care

MerryMarigold · 12/06/2019 17:33

I mean as you were growing up. I am assuming you were the favourite for your sister to have such an issue with you over something so small. It's interesting your Mum is siding with your dsis on this occasion. If your dsis was the favourite then I am not sure what's going on.

Squigglesworth · 12/06/2019 17:34

Over-reaction. Even if she doesn't particularly like it, it doesn't merit that kind of temper tantrum and grudge-holding.

I have two cousins both named after our grandfather. One is John and the other Jonathan. No tears or screaming.

HarleyS · 12/06/2019 17:35

Years ago when my neighbours had their second son, they let my parents know they were going to use the same name that was given to my youngest brother and the nickname we used for him, even though the nickname was not the natural nickname for the first name.
My parents felt so honoured.

SammySamSam09 · 12/06/2019 17:35

If my brother calls his baby son the same name as my sons, I really couldn't give a toss as its a great name and he has good taste.

Its gotten so crazy people are making up weird names & calling their kids after inanimate objects just so their precious child doesn't have to share a name with another human being. Weird.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 12/06/2019 17:36

I missed first bane and thought you were gonna day Annabella

stucknoue · 12/06/2019 17:36

They are quite similar, similar enough that people would comment if twins were called those names iykwim. She has a point of the many thousands of names, millions even you chose something ending Bella

MotherOfDragonite · 12/06/2019 17:37

Both lovely names and very different nicknames. I also don't think they are that similar unless you are both intending to use Bella as a nickname.

Amibeingdaft81 · 12/06/2019 17:37

Isabelle and Isabella - she would have a point. isabella and arabella - no.

What would her point be?

No one gets in a tizz when there’s 3 Olivia’s in the same class. We just accept that we have chosen a name that we love and others love too. Same applies here

Amibeingdaft81 · 12/06/2019 17:37

Olivias

IABUQueen · 12/06/2019 17:38

I had the same name as my cousin and same surname.. people called us by our first name and middle names to differentiate.

Me and my cousin bonded and the names played a huge part and used to call each other “twins”.

AyBeeCee10 · 12/06/2019 17:38

Yanbu, If the NN are completely different then I dont understand why she Is upset.

IABUQueen · 12/06/2019 17:39

If someone wants their child to stand out then pick a name that’s unique. Not a name that everyone loves.

If she chose s pretty unique name that hardly anyone heard of and you copy then I’d understand.

RandomMess · 12/06/2019 17:39

I think your DSIS was just looking for a reason to have a tantrum and get DM on side and make you the bad guy for daring to have DC and "stealing her thunder".

If you're Mum mentions it again just go "yeah sure Issy and Bella are just so alike"

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