Sister annoyed as new DD name too similar to her DD

[Cantfindaname123]

DN is 5. I barely see Dsis and DN as we live quite far away (think 4 hour drive), so we only really see each other at christmases, weddings and finerals. DN is named Isabella.

Our DD (2 months) is called Arabella. I was aware that it is quite similar but nobody owns a name, it isn't even the same name anyway, and we barely see each other.
When we announced name Dsis was quite upset, we 'stole her child's name' etc.

It has now been almost 3 months and Dsis is still not talking to me, she's got DM on her side, DM keeps telling me how much I've upset my sister, and couldn't I have picked a different name blah blah.

AIBU to say I can call DD what I like, it isn't even the same name, and she can get a grip?

If she's going to not talk to you for months over a pair of cousins sharing a syllable in a name, I definitely wouldn't be losing sleep over a 4 hour distance gap.

My cousin and I have similar names and there's been no issue, again we're at a distance and rarely saw each other more than a couple of times a year. There's been another similar name marrying into the family duplicating one of the names and we still manage.

I named my DS the same first name as a distant cousin. Both were named after the same relative. I'd have no issue with the name being duplicated in the family again. Possibly different if there was a less concrete reason for reusing the name and it was more of a fashion name, but we've managed to cope with the duplication with no issues.

Considering they’re both probably going to be nicknamed ‘Bella’ throughout their lives.. school etc. YABVU.

YANBU

My sister was (and still is) the favourite, and I do admit feeling very jealous towards her, sometimes admittedly taking it out on her without meaning to. This has almost definitely caused the problems in our relationship, and of course DM is taking her side, saying that I stole the name

I wonder if she has some sort of complex that you have a shiny new baby with similar name and your takeing away the limelight of the first granddaughter by trying to replace said grandchild. That’s obviously not what you’ve done. But maybe she’s threatened and thinks your detracting from first child and children may like/live your child more? They’re similar but not the same and I wouldn’t of blinked an eye lid at this. Actually someone asked me once if they could uses my dd’s middle name and I said of course ! I was annoyed once as a child being asked by a pregnant teacher about my name and wasn’t it exotic and exciting and she might use it. Now my name is ethnically very specific and is steeped in lots of religious and family meaning and ancestry. Basically she was trying to culturally appropriate my name because it sounded new shiny and cool to her and would be ‘unusual’ . That irritated me

I really don't see the issue! I think it's quite sweet they have similar names

Among my mum and dad's families, there are a few who have called their kids the exact same names and I don't recall there ever being any arguments about it. Granted they both come from big families (7 or 8 siblings each) and everyone of them had between 4 and 9 kids so they were probably running out of names at the end! At the end of the day, no one owns a name and it is a daft thing to get annoyed about.

I think your sister is very unreasonable. No-one owns a name, and it’s not even like you used the same name! Or even called DD Isobel! I mean, yes, they are similar, but so what? There are quite a few “Belle” names, would they all have been off limits? Clarabelle, Christabel, Belinda, Annabelle, Mirabelle.... she’s being ridiculous, and so is your mum if she agrees.

They're both being daft. They will get over it, it's only been 2 months. I'd keep a dignified silence about it and not argue back, it's not worth it.

Your Mum is still playing favourites, seriously distance yourself further it isn't worth the heartache. It's you not them.

Im greek i have 11 cousins and 7 uncles called nik/nick//niko/nikki/Nicholas/
Some of these are brothers

Endless Costa’s too

Immediate female family names

4 Elenas
3 Alexandria's
7 Sofia’s

I called my sons Benjamin and william and got scowls for NOT matching the Nick family trend

So yeah your name seems fine and different to me

I imagine your sister may have been wanting a name that rhymes with Isabella (perhaps even the one OP chose) for her next dd. But now as Op did it (ie chose a sibling name) she won’t be able to without it all seeming very twee.

Honestly I can sympathise with the sister. OP shouldn’t have chosen a sibling type name.

I do admit feeling very jealous towards her, sometimes admittedly taking it out on her without meaning to

And therein lies the reason she’s pissed off. She thinks you’ve done this because you’re jealous and to get back at her for being the favourite

It’s an over reaction but I think it’s too close a name. The trouble is it reflects on both of you. Rather than just make you sound unoriginal, it makes both if you sound like a family that like to do themed family names or something . Nothing wrong with that unless you are a family that don’t.
Obviously in day to day life it won’t matter if you live miles apart. But it’s not something that you’d forget if you found it annoying.

We considered Angus for DS1, and SIL (who hasn’t got any DC and doesn’t seem to be planning on ever having any, at least not soon) has a go at us because she wanted to call her daughter Agnes.

No different to a family where you have a child with the same name as a grandparent, or parent.

I think it's really nice actually and I would personally love it if I were your sis. I also don't think they're that similar and she sounds like she's over reacting.

I don’t think I’d be overly impressed if I was your sister. My cousin has exactly the same name as me (full name) I remember my mum being absolutely livid & I wasn’t too happy about it either.

If they were both shortened to Bella or if you lived close by perhaps she would have a point, but as things stand I can't see why she's so upset. They're similar, but not the same name. I'd have thought there will be several other Isobel/Isabelle/Isabella's in her school/class/area anyway. She will have to get used to sharing "her name" anyway. Arabella seems a bit more original.

My mum called by brother the same name as her sisters DS , 10 years after he was born. Have never even thought about it as a problem We just had ‘Big x’ and ‘Little x’ at family functions.

I did this. Same name. Honest to god didn't think about it. DN NN was and is ALWAYS used. DN was (and still remains) 9yrs older. And in a different country. SIL still isn't talking to me over a decade later. Oops.

To be honest, if your family is anything like mine, they'll get called each other's name so often, it's probably a blessing in disguise that the grandparents can mutter the first syllable and still get it mostly right. If you get your actual name after about 8 tries in our family (including the names of dogs that died decades ago), you're doing well!

Amibeingdaft81

of all the names in the world you can't understand why it's stupid to pick up the same name as your sibling? Unless it's your grand-mother's name, why would you do that?

DId you copy someone?

I have the same name as my cousin. My brother has the same first and last name as his cousin and uncle. No one cares, no one gets muddled up.

Isabella and Arabella are not even the same name.