. . . to ask for a Caesarian?

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I'm only 12 weeks pregnant so probably shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but when it comes to giving birth, my instinct is telling me to ask for a Caesarian. This is because I've had a disproportionate number of friends and family experience quite traumatic births where either mother or baby (in one scary case, both) were in danger and almost died. This makes me want my baby's birth to be calm and controlled; planned and predictable.

I know it's a huge operation but it really seems to me to be safer for the baby (and me).

My primary objective is to deliver a healthy baby, not avoid labour or pain. If someone could guarantee me a safe, controlled vaginal birth then I'd do that in a heartbeat.

So AIBU to ask for a Caesarian even though there's no medical justification?

I was terrified of childbirth. Putting off having a family to my late 30s. After speaking to my GP who assured me I could get a C section I got pregnant. I asked for a C section and was basically told we don’t give them just because you say so. About 7 months into my pregnancy I was referred to a psychologist who discussed my fears and based on what she said I opted for a vaginal delivery.
My waters broke and I was admitted to hospital. My labour wasn’t progressing and after 24 hours I was given an epidural and drugs to speed up the labour.
The next morning they decided that the baby wasn’t in the right position and gave me a C section. By this stage I was past caring and just wanted it to be over. Looking at photographs I was swollen like a barrage balloon.
I recovered very quickly and planned to ask for a section again for future pregnancies, which sadly never happened. It still makes me angry that I wasn’t listened to in the first place.

I agree with the PPs questioning the basis of your fears i.e. Anecdotes rather than actual statistics.

No one can guarantee you a risk free delivery, whether it's a section, VB or induction. There are specific risks attached to each and a woman's own medical history, background etc should help determine the best choice.

I'd also remember that people like to talk about horror stories. I had two really good VBs, but don't really like to talk about it much with people as i'm often made to feel like I'm somehow gloating or shaming those that didn't.

I'd do some proper research and speak to you medical team before deciding.

I've had 2 c-sections - first non-emergency emergency (failure to progress past 2cm) and 2nd planned with twins

Honestly, they were fine. The worst part of my recovery with my first was the sheer exhaustion from a 3 day induction combined with a newborn baby. Second was easier, I think as I wasn't so exhausted and I was forced to move to get to NICU to see my babies (and I was still on a newborn schedule for expressing & visiting). I would pick a c-section if I had any more.

First c-section I was in overnight (c-section 14:04, discharge 19:30 next day). Second I was in 10 days, but that was the babies not me.
Second I did have an infection with, but they sorted that quickly with antibiotics.

I think there are risks with both options, you really have to decide which risks you want to take. I've known/read about people who take 6 weeks to recover from vaginal delivery, but similarly I've heard people who are fine the next day. A family member had a very traumatic delivery where their baby was thought to have not had oxygen for 5+ minutes - if my first had been after that I'd have been terrified so I completely understand why you'd want to request one.

No matter what anyone says, this is your decision. Do your own research/ask your midwife. And if a consultant says no and you want one, ask for another consultant. It should be mother's choice.

Some good advice here www.which.co.uk/birth-choice/choosing-where-to-give-birth/choosing-to-have-an-elective-c-section

you can ask, but you won't neccesarily get unless its a medical need - costs alot of money. Unless of course youre going private? Then by all means, ask away.

Hi everyone - I've just been re-reading this thread as I'm 29 weeks now, so I'm a bit closer to making a decision.

As expected, midwives and consultants have discouraged ELCS (although they always finish up saying "it's your choice" because I guess they have to!)

I brought it up again at a consultant appointment a couple of days ago (I'm having scans every three weeks, I think because it's an IVF pregnancy) and they've referred me to a "Birth Choices" clinic on 7th November, at which point I'll be 33 weeks, so I'm hoping that if I'm still set on a c-section they'll finally book me in.

I'm 95% sure that a c-section is best for my particular circumstances. The remaining small doubt is really due to concerns about breastfeeding being more difficult to get started, baby won't be exposed to bacteria in the birth canal which could result in immunity issues etc.

I guess I'll see how the birth choices clinic visit goes. Thanks again to everyone who shared their experiences and opinions.

I’ve just had my baby nearly a month ago but had c section so got told not to drive until 6 weeks but I feel fit to drive I can walk for miles and back so surely I’m fit enough? What do I say on the phone to book an appointment to ask for a fit to drive note from the doctor?