. . . to ask for a Caesarian?

[RedPandaFluff]

I'm only 12 weeks pregnant so probably shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but when it comes to giving birth, my instinct is telling me to ask for a Caesarian. This is because I've had a disproportionate number of friends and family experience quite traumatic births where either mother or baby (in one scary case, both) were in danger and almost died. This makes me want my baby's birth to be calm and controlled; planned and predictable.

I know it's a huge operation but it really seems to me to be safer for the baby (and me).

My primary objective is to deliver a healthy baby, not avoid labour or pain. If someone could guarantee me a safe, controlled vaginal birth then I'd do that in a heartbeat.

So AIBU to ask for a Caesarian even though there's no medical justification?

I had an awful delivery with my first baby culminating in a forceps delivery. When pregnant with my second, I asked for an elective caesarean and had one. The recovery time for the elective caesarean was a fraction on the forceps delivery and was a very positive experience.

However you will have a ask to speak to a consultant at the hospital. Expect to be given a hard time by the mid-wives as they won’t approve but most consultants will be sympathetic as they know an elective caesarean is safer (as opposed to an emergency one).

This makes me want my baby's birth to be calm and controlled; planned and predictable.

My ds's birth was pretty much the opposite of these things, and it was an ELCS! Ds was very poorly at birth and I was wrecked. It took a long time for me to feel relatively ok emotionally and physically and I still have some issues which I think are related to my section.

I had an elective first time, for medical reasons. I recovered very well. 2nd time it was vbac. I had no pain relief, it was fast, and if I'd known I could choose, I'd have had a 2nd elective. I would still choose that now. I was left with damage.

There are a lot of statistics about vbac that get glossed over.

YANBU to prefer a section, the risks and benefits of vaginal birth vs section need to be weighed up carefully bearing in mind your individual risk factors and preferences.

PP have stated that the majority of vaginal births are straightforward - this is not necessarily true. The major risk factors for intervention are the fact that it is your fist child and your age. For example having my first child at 36, the risk of EMCS or instrumental delivery was 45% - data are here www.journalslibrary.nihr.ac.uk/hsdr/hsdr03360#/s4 - so I chose ELCS (which was a great experience and very easy recovery in my case). If you were 21 it would be a very different story, risks of VB are much lower.

A further consideration is that having 4 or more sections carries a higher risk of various very bad outcomes, generally sections get more complicated the more you have whereas VB get easier the more you have (only in general though).

IF you might want to have a section it is NOT correct that you don't need to think about it til late in pregnancy. In some areas it is very difficult to get a maternal request section and you need to start getting appointments now or you won't have it booked in time (yes, really).

NICE guidlines are that you can have one if you wan tbut in practce it can be very difficult.

pS the relevant bit of that report is study2, tables 20-22 if anyone is wanting the numbers. It's a huge study (60 000 births IIRC) so v reliable.

That's very useful, @StraffeHendrik - thank you.

YANBU. I had a c section after my baby died neonatally because it was recommended by my consultant as the safest way to deliver and also what I wanted.

I would advise you to prepare for a vaginal birth just in case your baby comes earlier than your section is planned and you can’t get into theatre in time.

I hope all goes well for you.

@hazeyjane would you mind telling me what happened that made your ELCS so awful? If it brings back bad memories for you please don't feel you have to elaborate, though!

I'm so sorry, @AllFourOfThem - I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. That's definitely what it comes down to - safest for the baby.

Thank you @RedPandaFluff and the baby in question was born safely by c section.

*So AIBU to ask for a Caesarian even though there's no medical justification?,

YANBU to ask and set the ball rolling. You may have to jump through some hoops but if it's what you're set on, go for it.

I had a semi elective section. I'd been in labour over 36 hours, waters gone, no progress, he was stuck but not in any distress. Actual section was lovely, recovery was fine, discharged after 24 hours, up and about shopping (albeit slowly) after four days. I have no desire to give birth vaginally ever, it's not something I feel I have missed out by not doing and if I have another baby I will go for a ELCS without hesitation. Previous to going into labour I had my lavender oil and clary sage ready, had done hypnobirthing and was going to breathe baby out in the bath etc.

There are risks with Caesarians, far better to give birth naturally as long as there are no problems. Most people do it quite easily and there's no reason to suppose you won't. I wish people wouldn't tell birth horror stories, it frightens some young pregnant women.

I've just had to have an emergency section after natural forst labour.

I'd always pick the natural one.

The recovery for a section is a lot longer due to the scar healing, you can't drive for a while either. When I was discharged I had to take clotting medication which involved injecting myself.

If anything, the natural birth was much easier to recover from.

Hi @Bluerussian - that's the point though, you can't predict the problems with a natural birth. Of course a vaginal birth is better if it all goes well!

Oh, and sadly I'm an old pregnant woman 😄

Hi @Dandelion1993 - yes, the no-driving does concern me as potentially it could be quite isolating in the early days.

I'm fine with injections - I've been giving myself Inhixa (anticoags) every morning for the past three months as part of the IVF protocol so it would be familiar!

I had c- section after I requested it. I had looked at the risks for my age and a large baby. My fear was delay in delivery due to a busy unit or shoulder dystopia leading to birth injuries to baby or worse. For my age a section was safer for the baby but slightly riskier for me. The consultant talked me through the risks then booked me in.
It was a great experience and I asked to go home the following day. I had my second the same way and again was home the next day. The consultant told me as I was leaving that she had an elective section for her children.

Expect it to be an uphill battle. I requested one last year and they made me jump through every hoop imaginable before agreeing to it. I had to see four different consultants/consultant midwife/obstetrician before they agreed and I was 36 weeks before they made a firm date. They tried to talk me out of it just before the operation as well! DP and I were waiting in our scrubs when a consultant walked through and made one last attempt to talk me out of it. I requested one after three previous traumatic deliveries, one almost killed me. They didn’t really care, very much had an agenda to push.

My caesarean was the most positive birthing experience of my life, it all went so smoothly and recovery was fine too.

Well that's interesting, @Ripasso! The consultant had an EC? Done, decision made 😄

(Just kidding - although it does make you think . . . )

Also consider that some women do like to tell their birth story with a bit of drama. I could tell you that my waters broke before going into labour but that that I was told they wouldn't induce me for more than 48h even though there was an increase risk of catching strep B (in the end I went into labour 12 hours later), that my baby had its cors around his neck 3 times, and that the midwife was a bit concerned as his heartbeat would dip quite a bit during each contraction. That the consultant was called when I was pushing him out as his head was massive and they expected to need the consultant to get him with forcept and that when he came out (in the end did t need forcept) that he was very blue and they had to handle him quite roughly to get the oxygen circulating.

All this is true, but in reality it was quite a standard delivery for the midwives and all of it was forgotten by the time he was in my arms.

Oh and just wanted to add they used lots of scaremongering tactics, one consultant basically said I would definitely have a hysterectomy if I had a c-section . Utter nonsense, it was the smoothest birth out of the four.

Even a section isn't 100% straight forward. I was having one when my baby went into distress, he ended up in ICU for a week. It's all a matter of what happens on the day. Plenty of my relatives have had very easy births and sections, others haven't been so lucky.

I used to be shit scared of needles before I had my sections and had to inject myself afterwards. I was fine during the op itself as I didn’t have to watch anything, but when it came to doing it myself.... I was shaking and crying in the bathroom for ages before I could pluck up the courage. Didn’t hurt in the slightest and no fear of needles since!

I live in a village and the driving was horrid. Just felt so reliant on other people which I hate doing.

I would t swear by that redpandafluff I've heard consultants say "don't worry I had a blah and all was fine" to various different patients to calm them down - and absolutely none of them were true. If one chap had as many ops as he's told patients in his "friendly chat to calm them down" time, he'd be nothing but stitches all over

@RedPandaFluff

I know some women who have had C-sections that they recovered from in a week or two, and some women who took longer to recover.

However, I know some who have done both - vaginal birth AND C-section, and they ALL said they preferred the C-section. And elective C-sections are very much sought after. There is a reason for that.

I don't know if you can choose C-section though. (On the NHS.) You need to ask your doctor or midwife?

If you really want one, could you look into having one privately.... ? I think it costs 5 to 6 grand in the UK. (Happy to be corrected.)