. . . to ask for a Caesarian?

[RedPandaFluff]

I'm only 12 weeks pregnant so probably shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but when it comes to giving birth, my instinct is telling me to ask for a Caesarian. This is because I've had a disproportionate number of friends and family experience quite traumatic births where either mother or baby (in one scary case, both) were in danger and almost died. This makes me want my baby's birth to be calm and controlled; planned and predictable.

I know it's a huge operation but it really seems to me to be safer for the baby (and me).

My primary objective is to deliver a healthy baby, not avoid labour or pain. If someone could guarantee me a safe, controlled vaginal birth then I'd do that in a heartbeat.

So AIBU to ask for a Caesarian even though there's no medical justification?

I’d say there is more risk with a Caesarian. If it’s absolutely needed then it’s amazing but if it isn’t it seems like a pain. Then again, how some people are terrified of birthing vaginally, I’m scared of a c-section.

The risks involved in different types of birth are not entirely commensurate and some kinds of births are more risky for the baby than the mother and vice versa, but, having said that, the ordering from less risky to most risky is:

VB no complications
ELCS
EMCS
VB complications

This is mainly because of the grave and permanent risks to the baby in VBs with complications. Given the long term medical and care costs of severely disabled babies, even the cost argument is not in favor of VB (the costs of different types of birth should not just include the costs of the birth, but also medical and care costs resulting from birth injuries to mothers and children, to be meaningful).

No, you're not being unreasonable. I had an elective section in November feeling very similar to what you describe.

My obstetrician was excellent and the recovery was quick and painless. That's not to say it's the same for everyone, it isn't. I got very fit and healthy pre pregnancy and maintained that during and I followed all clinical advice on the best recovery (get up walking around same day etc). No idea if that all helped or whether it's really pot luck.

I read a lot about risks when making my decision, it wasn't one I took lightly. Here's what I found out ...
For a first baby the risks of a planned section are about the same as a trial of vaginal delivery. This is because you have no obstetric history so you don't know how vaginal delivery will go. You may have tearing, you have instrument delivery, you may have to be induced, you may have an emergency section. In a small number of cases you will have what my consultant called a lottery winner labour - no intervention and no trauma such as tearing. Chances of this outcome for a first baby are about 10-15%. HOWEVER if you are a lottery winner this method of delivery is safer than elective section.

I hated the idea of all the unknowns of vaginal delivery so planned section was the better option for me. Everyone is different and I truly believe women should have genuine choice as to how they deliver their babies.

PP have given you sound advice. If a consultant refuses to do an elective section they must refer you to someone else.

Good luck and congrats!

It really is true what the say, each birth is different. With my first I had a vaginal birth- I was induced and it was horrendous- the worst 36 hours of my life. She then turned and got stuck- she wasn't even back to back, she came out shoulders side ways- it was awful did lots of damage and I was in excruciating pain for at least 2 months. With my second I have a CS due to placenta previa (complete) so I had no choice. This obviously came with its own risks. However it was amazing. My recovery time was amazingly quick- I had absolutely no pain (I think I was one of the lucky ones) and my scar is pretty much non existent. I am all for a CS, it did not affect my ability to bond with my son and I absolutely did not feel I failed, like some mothers enforced on me I would. This, I find, is ridiculous. Hope this helps x

I had an ELCS. I didn’t like the idea of vaginal birth, it looked a bit too painful for my liking (think I watched too many episodes of OBEM). I also didn’t fancy going 2 weeks overdue or not being given an epidural etc. I also liked the fact but that I would have a consultant, anaesthetist, midwives, about 9 medical professionals in the theatre.

No problems, quick recovery. It was a wonderful experience.
Based on my own experience, I highly recommend it.

Google adhesions and scar tissue after c section OP. It can leave you with endometriosis and infertility as well as constant pelvic pain.

Trust me, it's nothing something I'd wish on anyone. I've had 2 sections, one emergency and one planned.

If I'd have known what I'd suffer 20 years on, I'd never have signed the consent forms.

I had Two caesareans with no medical reason, one was eleven years ago when it really wasn’t common. Feel free to PM me about it, I don’t want to go into it on here due to it being outing.

I've had two planned sections due to tokophobia, and have zero regrets. I wasn't doing a marathon the next day, but I was back to normal when most of my nct friends were still sitting on ring cushions...

The operation itself was completely painless, recovery for the first couple of days was not easy but totally manageable, and after that as long as I took painkillers regularly, I was pain free with the exception of a slight burning sensation when getting up.

I'm a complete wuss when it comes to pain. I'm the sort to cry when stubbing my toe. I had gas pain issues which were ouchy but manageable, and I had after pains which you get whether vaginal or section, but I had next to no pain from my actual section.

I had cuddles and skin to skin contact in theatre, breastfed within about 20 mins and had no issues with it after that

This thread just evidences what a bloody crapshoot giving birth is!

My section was great, especially for an emergency one. I was on my feet within six hours, was fine with just paracetamol and ibuprofen, managed to pick up my baby fine, and was out and about outside the house from when we got home from hospital and able to go up and down stairs fine. 16 weeks on my scar is fully healed and the only issues I have are related to pregnancy (some joint pain) and not the birth. I was honestly amazed at what a breeze it was as I had been bloody terrified of a section and was prepared for an awful experience and a lot of pain. But I didn't really go above moderate discomfort on the pain scale.

But that's just my experience and others have obviously had drastically different ones. The same goes for vaginal births too. You just have to weigh it all up and decide what's right for you and what level of risk/gambling/control you are happy with.

No, yanbu, your body your choice.
You have to strong and informed about it though or they'll talk you out of it.
I've had a vaginal birth and elective c-section and the latter was a vastly better experience. I knew I wanted it first time but was dissuaded.

I've had 3 C sections. Attempted vaginal delivery twice and didn't go to plan (to put it mildly) and ended up with EMCS both times.

3rd was an elective section and was worlds apart from the others. Home within 24 hours (was in a week after my second). Up and about within a day or so and exercising and lifting weights again 3 months pp

--And my pelvic floor muscles are still in tact and can hold for (much) longer than two seconds which some of my friends struggle with!

Both have pros and cons. If I could have had a straightforward VB then I would have opted for that no question, but you can't predict how labour will go.

Congratulations btw

I've had two children.

My first was a planned CS and it was such a calm and lovely experience. I will never, ever forget the way I felt when I checked into the ward knowing I was going to be meeting my baby that. It was wonderful.

My second baby was another planned CS but I went into labour naturally three days before my CS date. I then had to have an emergency CS ad baby's heart rate was dropping.

The emergency CS was obviously a bit scarier but it was still an amazing experience.

I found a lot of comfort knowing that both births were in a controlled environment and there was very minimal risks to the baby.

I hear of so many horror stories of natural births that the fear of the unknown world probably have pushed me over the edge. If I'd had to have vaginal births I know I would have been petrified that something was going to go wrong.

Both recoveries were absolutely fine, in hospital for 3 days with first baby and 5 days with the second but generally I recovered fine.

Oh my god yes! I wish I had listened to my gut feeling and booked a C Sec as I was screaming for one during labour. If I give birth again I will and I would happily pay. It would be worth every penny!

Oh... another benefit of a Vbac is that now for some reason my orgasms have changed and they are now absolutely amazing. Totally shattering and so strong. Totally unexpected benefit but you never know!

Don’t let people put you off.

Everyone has a different birth experience.

I had a completely elective Caesarian section.
I walked after 6 hours.
I wasn’t in pain on the incision site or inside, I was just quite sick (vomiting) from the epidural - not a patch on morning sickness tho! . I wore a belly bandit for 3 weeks to help with posture and holding in place.

The pain I had was mild bruise like, i was prepared for the worst. It was fine. Did a spin class 3 weeks after birth.

The main thing is that you get the birth YOU want. I had the exact birth I wanted and I’m so glad of it. It made recovery and postnatal period so much better knowing I controlled my birth.

I had 2 emergency c sections and what I wouldn’t give to have a normal labour!!! I would of given my right arm to have a vaginal birth. Both my c sections weren’t ‘planned or calm’ both were bloody horrible. Neither were painful. I was up and walking within 3 hrs. Though the drs don’t think I have the normal pain receptors. I didn’t even have paracetamol. Some women don’t get out of their beds for days!!

My scar opened up (because I did too much) and I got cellulitis (again I felt no pain and that’s meant to be painful..). You can’t drive either. I live in the middle of a forest. So that was super hard. I couldnt get my eldest to school etc.

A c sections isn’t a walk in the park and had I had the choice. Vaginal all the way. My friend has 11 children. She’s had 10 vaginal births and 1 c section. She says vaginal birth every single time

Also. Someone has pointed it out. But if you want more than 2. I would really rethink c sections

Also I lost a lot of blood. Ended up with something called sheehans syndrome. Which has affected my whole life. You’ve got those kind of things that do go very wrong with a section. Which wouldnt of happened with a vaginal birth.

I haven’t read the other replies but I had an EMCS, developed spesis and my organs started to stop working. C sections are major abdominal surgery and are not without risks.

I have an ELCS booked for next Wednesday due to a ridiculously large baby and I hoping that she comes before then so I can avoid a c section.

Caesareans do have risks but so do vaginal births. My caesarean was by far the easiest and most pleasant of my births. The emergency forceps due to shoulder dystocia and the retained placenta with a massive haemorrhage- not so great.

@RedPandaFluff - I had a c-section because I was placenta praevia and my DD didn't turn. She was also very big for my very petite frame.
I wish I had a normal birth. The scar is huge, I already had previous life-saving surgeries on my belly so my abdominal muscles are a mess and the c-section only aggravated the existing issues. The recovery was long and painful.
It's not worth it, believe me. Take care that you are in a hospital, surrounded by medical staff and you will be much earlier on your feet than having a major abdominal surgery, after which you are expected to get up and take care of a screaming baby.

I can relate to this. My mother told me horror stories of birth to my brother. I was petrified. I tried to tell the midwife and she took no notice. I ask for a c section she took no notice. I went 2 weeks overdue, terrified. I was then induced and kept in a week it was a failed inducement by this time the child was over 3 weeks late. I kept asking for a c section I was ignored. Baby then pooed inside me while they tried to break my 1cm dilation. Finally I got c section only it was then an emergency. They didn't check properly that the epidural was working so they cut me open I was screaming! They then knocked me out with a GA. I came round I was in agony. Some stupid nurse said"well you're supposed to feel something you've just had surgery, Can you move your legs?". To which I did, they then realise it wasn't that the epidural had not had time to take it had no worked at all. I was then given morphine and moved into high decency. Then anaesthetist came to visit me after his shift apologising. I discharged my self within 48 hours, nurses were lazy, unaware and useless. Got me up the next day told me to shower and I collapsed naked on the floor. My baby's face was a mess red raw I don't know why but both of us were miserable.

I was fine once I got home and back at work within the fortnight, out for walks, driving, even going for a faci. I don't know what a natural birth is but I do know I had no control of my birth. Within a month of my son's birth I heard a woman at the same hospital age 38 had an IVF baby, she was allowed to go overdue and they kept inducing her and like me it wasn't working. This baby was still born weighing 9lb 12. That was complete incompetence of the hospital and their avoidance of c sections. I remember coming home and the nurse calling I said "look I'm busy if you want to see me give me a time I'm not staying in all day". She said "well you'll not get far you've had a c section you'll get to the end of the road and you've need to get back". This was nonsense I was completely fine. C sections in my experience are no worse than a bit of plastic surgery. I think it's probably seen as worse as people may be of heightened stress due to the new arrival. I would hate anyone to go through what I did, so please be assertive.

Came across this thread again and curious as to whether the OP asked for an ELCS...

Op you seem to have heard a lot of horror stories but birth isn’t supposed to be like that and doesn’t have to be. Research Ina May gaskin and her videos on YouTube so you can see the other side of positive births.

Aside from the recovery for you, a planned cesarean presents real risks to the baby. It really should be used sparingly. I’d spend some time reading up on things like wet newborn lungs.

My friend nearly lost her baby during a routine elective caesarean due to respiratory distress. It doesn’t guarantee a safe birth.