To wonder how you would feel if you found out your DP cross dressed?

[BalletBunting]

And by cross dressing I just mean occasionally wearing some make up/skirts/dresses/heels. Would it bother you? I was reading a thread of women who'd been through that experience, and I realised myself that the idea of DH doing it makes my skin crawl, although I can't quite pin point why.

So much kink shaming on this thread. ‘I respect myself too much to accept that’ - get over yourself! You don’t have to like it, it doesn’t have to be your thing, but turning it into an issue of self-respect is so narrow-minded and judgmental.

I wouldnt like it - i would have to leave him - and i say this as someone who has had girlfriends. I married my husband because i wanted to be with a man, if i wanted someone who dressed as a girl, i would have married a girlfriend. Wearing a bit of my concealor to cover a bit of dark eyes after a bad night - fine. Full on make up and dresses? No.

Womens bodies are curvaceous, soft, sensual and erotic.

What a weird and fetishing comment!

So much kink shaming on this thread. ‘I respect myself too much to accept that’ - get over yourself! You don’t have to like it, it doesn’t have to be your thing, but turning it into an issue of self-respect is so narrow-minded and judgmental

Saying you are not turned on, creeped out, etc by someone parodying womanhood for sexual kicks (as let's be honest that is what people here are referencing when they say they are repulsed etc by it) is not 'kink shaming'. Nobody is attacking anyone who says they cross dress for sexual kicks, but they are saying it is not something they want any part of. Having sexual boundaries is no kink shaming.

Cross dressing is the biggest paraphilia in sex offenders, women are right to be inherently repulsed by it, whilst in some cases it may be an innocent sexual 'fun' thing to do, many times it is not and can hint at a dark insight into a mans psyche. Don't shame women for having sexual boundaries that can help keep them safe.

Funny how cross dressers don't seem that interested in dressing up in primark leggings and a t shirt with bleach stains on it for cleaning the bathroom.

Brilliant.

I would have to leave him. It’d be the end of the relationship. It’s just not something I could tolerate or feel comfortable with.

So much kink shaming on this thread. ‘I respect myself too much to accept that’ - get over yourself! You don’t have to like it, it doesn’t have to be your thing, but turning it into an issue of self-respect is so narrow-minded and judgmental.

It is a respect issue.

When these men dress up as a woman for their kink, it says alot about what they think of women and what woman has to be, to be 'sexy'.

As pp said, they never get turned by dressing themseleves up in a pair of leggings and baggy shirts.

Odd that the OP hasn't returned....

Depends. There’s a huge difference between confident in your own sexuality and rocks makeup like Bowie etc. and your average middle aged AGP.
First fine, second not even a little bit.

TinselAngel I've been reading with interest!

I don't think that it is kink shaming' to have sexual boundaries, and it looks like many feel the same as I do. I think many of the responses have helped me to understand my own instinctive response to the idea

I’m not in any way offended by men who get turned on by dressing up as women. That seems silly. It just doesn’t turn me on

I’m all for a few filthy kinks, but that one would personally leave me dry.

Saying you are not turned on, creeped out, etc by someone parodying womanhood for sexual kicks (as let's be honest that is what people here are referencing when they say they are repulsed etc by it) is not 'kink shaming'. Nobody is attacking anyone who says they cross dress for sexual kicks, but they are saying it is not something they want any part of. Having sexual boundaries is no kink shaming.

How unfair of you to so deliberately and shamelessly misinterpret what I said. You can (and should) do better than a straw man argument.

I specifically stated that it’s absolutely fine if cross-dressing isn’t your thing. I have no problem with anyone being personally repulsed by it or having no desire to be involved with it in any way.

As I made explicitly clear in my post, my issue is with people claiming they have ‘too much self respect’ to accept it. Whether or not you tolerate this particular practice has nothing to do with self-respect, and implying that any woman who would accept it is lacking in self-respect is shaming. I believe you actually do understand that and just wanted to misrepresent me because it was an easier argument for you to respond to.

Cross dressing is the biggest paraphilia in sex offenders, women are right to be inherently repulsed by it, whilst in some cases it may be an innocent sexual 'fun' thing to do, many times it is not and can hint at a dark insight into a mans psyche. Don't shame women for having sexual boundaries that can help keep them safe.

I have never shamed a woman for having boundaries, as you well know. I would love for you to quote exactly where you imagine I did so.

I would never tell any woman what she should or shouldn’t be willing to tolerate. That’s an entirely individual decision. But I also recognise the rights of women to decide what they are interested in and accepting of, and I think it’s absurd to claim that accepting a partner who cross-dresses mean women lack self-respect or aren’t able to assert their own boundaries.

By all means, have your own boundaries and defend them vigorously. But don’t shame women who have different boundaries because you think they don’t respect themselves. You must see how problematic that is?

When these men dress up as a woman for their kink, it says alot about what they think of women and what woman has to be, to be 'sexy'.

As pp said, they never get turned by dressing themseleves up in a pair of leggings and baggy shirts.

Meh. If I was going to dress as a man I wouldn't choose trackie bottoms and a decade old band t-shirt. I'd try and choose something a bit snappier. Same for them I suppose.

PinkieTuscadero om, but do they ever pick the 'Jean's and a nice top' look?

Or something that isnt a classic porn look?

What is the male equivalent of «a classic porn look»? What would a female cross dresser wear that’s the equivalent of that look?

Even in the Rocky Horror Show, Magenta and Janet are trussed up in the same corsets as Frank et al. So men dressed as sexy women - and women dressed as sexy...women?

As PPs have said I'd be fine with a sarong a la David Beckham, a glam rock look or nail varnish - but I don't really see that as cross dressing.

Cross dressing to me is done in secret and has a sexual undertone. It'd be a deal breaker. There is no shame in being a woman because we are not lesser; we are not stupid or failed men. In my opinion any kind of cissy fetish implies that being feminine is something shameful.

BogstandardBelle that's the point. There isnt one.

Like many other posters

John travolta as Edna in hairspray?

No thankyou

Robert sheehan as Klaus in the Umbrella Academy

Yes please

Deal breaker.

He would look awful too. 6ft tall, broad as fuck. He would just look silly. Not a sexual kink I am into.

It would deal break for me if DH cross-dressed and described his motivation as wanting to “dress like a woman” or if it was sexually motivated. But if his motivation were more along the lines of, “I’m a man, I like these clothes, men should be able to wear these clothes whilst still being men” and it wasn’t a kink, then it wouldn’t.

I completely agree with this.

Eww! Yuck!
Unless its some sort of a joke (like Dads in Disguise sort nonsense)

Pretty awful, I would imagine. I found out (well my mum told me) that my dad does it, and has done for years. It was an awful shock and took a while to process. I mostly avoid thinking about it at all, which would obviously be a whole lot harder if it was your partner. It's not that it's wrong, it's just that it doesn't fit with who you thought that person was.

Dh had on one of my dresses the other day

It did look good...but it was on backwards

And it was a bit long

Apparently he chose it because he thought it was one of his colours

I think I'd be bothered that he hadn't told me. He knows all my kinks and is happy to indulge them (although one of them was nearly a deal breaker for him) so I'd be upset that he hadn't told me which would make wonder what else he hadn't shared.

Thinking about it, I'd struggle more than I feel I should. I wear men's clothes all the time, my favourite hanging at home clothes are his. I find men's jeans more comfortable due to my hip shape/leg length. I'm also bisexual but the thought of him in women's (my) clothes is a total turn off.