To wonder how you would feel if you found out your DP cross dressed?

[BalletBunting]

And by cross dressing I just mean occasionally wearing some make up/skirts/dresses/heels. Would it bother you? I was reading a thread of women who'd been through that experience, and I realised myself that the idea of DH doing it makes my skin crawl, although I can't quite pin point why.

Worried as he has no sense of dress as it is. But we agree that while his dress sense leaves much to be desired. He dresses as he pleases and me likewise.
Seriously given his build he would have great difficulty, and he has a beard .

It would be too much of a slippery slope for me.

I would find it a massive turn-off. When XH said he wanted to shave his legs (keen cyclist) it made me feel physically sick. I imagine women's clothes and make-up would be ten times worse.

I fancy my DP because he's so very masculine, hairy, well-built etc. The idea of that in make-up and a dress is just comical and I couldn't imagine it being in any way sexy for him or for me.

Maybe if you fancy blokes who are a bit more effeminate looking to start with then the whole gender-bending thing is a bit more acceptable?

The clothing wouldn’t be an issue.

The secrecy would and would take some examining to find out why there needed to be secrecy.

My friend and her family's life was destroyed by her DH's fetish. She found a business card and looked online and found him dressed and made up as a female. She also found he used prostitutes, both male and female and had spent a lot of her money on all sorts of online sexual services.

The whole family were devastated.Thankfully her love was not unconditional and she dumped him and the seediness of it all helped her and her children to get over him quite quickly. It was quite a long time before she told us why she had split from him though.

It depends on the context, to go and watch Rocky Horror or to match the kids fancy dress theme, fine. If it's sexual and I'd always known and it was just his thing, fine. If he'd hidden it from me and it was little girl themed, I'd be off like a shot. If he had recently discovered this side of himself, with help from the internet, we'd have to have a serious conversation about porn. All about context and communication, like most things in a relationship.

I'd wonder how he'd managed to keep it from me for the last 17 years - and also, why he'd bothered, as I'm a butch bisexual, so hardly one to balk at interesting gender presentation choices...

The secret aspect would bother me

I would also be uncomfortable if his preferred style skewed towards the over the top drag style because that sort of caricature of women is offensive to me.

But just throwing on a comfortable dress or some nail polish, it would be an adjustment, but again, that mostly comes back to the secret aspect.

I would be out of the door

but I would be absolutely fuming to know that it would destroy the family and upset the kids to find out.

At least be honest from the start, then let people decide if they can live with it or not.

Crossdressing is not a sign of a man insecure in his masculinity. If anything it is quite the opposite. It reminds me of Joey from friends, but no, no man has ever felt the need to cross dress to prove his masculinity

Hmm. I find gender bendy type men really hot. Prince, David Bowie. Cross dressing in that direction would turn me on. I cant quite see how my dh would pull it off in a way I'd find attractive tho.
About secrecy..depends.. if I caught him at it. And I'm not sure what 'it' would be. But something deal breaker- y. Paying someone else for some sort of service would be a deal breaker. If he told me I do x y z sometimes i was wondering if theres a way to share it I'd be curious. We all have private secret parts to our sexuality. When you share part of that it could be good.

I would be gone. I couldn’t be attracted to someone who did it.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, an ex sometimes wore womens clothes, they’re only clothes at the end of the day.

Single here so not something I have to consider currently 😂 I think it's the secret aspect that would cause issues for me tbh, especially if it was kept for a long time

However, I think if he looked good I'd probably be quite into it as well 🤭

no man has ever felt the need to cross dress to prove his masculinity hmm in general, men comfortable with their masculinity don't tend to feel the need to prove it by wearing only stereotypically male clothing. Men insecure with their masculinity are usually not that likely to put it into question by crossdressing.

It would be a deal breaker for me. I’m pretty opened minded and a good friend of mine competes in drag competitions. I have no problem with men in dresses, I’m just not attracted to them.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, an ex sometimes wore womens clothes, they’re only clothes at the end of the day as Eddie Izzard said, they're not women's clothes, they're MY clothes :D

It wouldn't really bother me, though I wouldn't want to be part of it.

The secrecy aspect wouldn't bother me that much either, if it was just cross dressing in privacy without involving other people.

men comfortable with their masculinity don't tend to feel the need to prove it by wearing only stereotypically male clothing

oh, so is that what cross-dressing is for you? Men rejecting stereotypes? yeah, right

Yeah...clothes are just clothes...anyone can where anything. Wouldn't bother me.

Are there many cross-dressing men who don’t do it for sexual / fetish reasons? If so - what do they wear? I can’t think of any style or items of typically Male dress that are the equivalent to the stockings / suspenders / high heels / tight dresses / fake boobs / drag queen look that many cross dressing men favour.

DP didn’t look like a drag queen tbf. But he certainly didn’t wear anything resembling an outfit any woman I know would choose to relax in.

Can't say it would bother me.

Loads of people 'cross dress' in different ways as a form as escapism. Look how popular cos play etc is.

I'm currently sat in my OHs, black hoodie and trackies. I've been known to wear his boxers because they're comfortable........am I a cross dresser ?? No. But I do gravitate towards male / loose clothing as my comfort blanket. It's a shame that men are so restricted and made to feel ashamed for doing pretty much the same thing.

It doesn't bother me at all.

OH has always enjoyed dressing up, though it's kept between us and for the bedroom, so yes it's sexual. He hasn't expressed a desire to got out dressed as a woman (though did try and persuaud him when next door had some kind of vicars/tarts type of thing.

I think he actually has a better shoe collection than me and Ive loved buying clothes for him

My DH is a 6'4" lump, he weight lifts, he's bald and he has a beard. He is one of the most masculine men i've met. He would make a terrible woman.
But.. he's more than just his looks. I understand that he has an inner life and sensitivities and if he wanted to dress up at home in private I'd be fine. The issue is that I would never allow him out to face abuse or violence and I'd never allow our DC to see it.
Maybe that's hypocritical? I doubt it would happen. You don't know how you'll feel until it happens to you personally. Imo.

Cross dressing wouldn't bother me. Secrecy would. I'd be disappointed that he felt the need to keep it from me and would feel like he didn't trust me. Lack of trust is a deal breaker for me.

But actual cross dressing? Nah, I've dated guys that have liked cross dressing for fun.

I find it really sad that women would leave their partners for the cross dressing aspect alone. I understand the secrecy aspect though.

It would be the end of our relationship. I could never look at him in the same way again.