To wonder how you would feel if you found out your DP cross dressed?

[BalletBunting]

And by cross dressing I just mean occasionally wearing some make up/skirts/dresses/heels. Would it bother you? I was reading a thread of women who'd been through that experience, and I realised myself that the idea of DH doing it makes my skin crawl, although I can't quite pin point why.

Some people do love their partner unconditionally. Unhealthy as it may be.

There's an old joke among old school transsexuals (rather than the younger generation of politically motivated transgender people): what's the difference between a transvestite and a transsexual? About two years.

Maybe not divorce but I couldn’t sleep with him after finding out and seeing him as a women we would have to find a compromise that left us both happy and fulfilled or it would end though.

It happened to me and it was a deal breaker. He knew when we got together and should have been upfront. As well as the fact I didn't fancy him after seeing him dressed in my clothes and masturbating into them, he lied.
There are some very naive posts on this thread. We have kids, so apart from my hurt, this had consequenses for them. My kids grew up in poverty with a struggling single parent, instead of the loving 2 parent home I was led to believe we could provide. We were homeless for over a year when they were little.

Is it not possible to enjoy cross-dressing now and then without being transgender or having AGP? I might be wrong but I thought that was not exactly that rare.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Tue 11-Jun-19 15:02:15
I'd be revolted. I'm only attracted to men who are secure in their masculinity and at ease in their own skin. It would be a deal breaker for me.

It’s fine to say it’s not for you. It’s not for me either. However your statement about masculinity is really problematic and is the sort of attitude that causes males who are attracted to stereotypically feminine things to question their sex. Masculinity needs to be more broadly defined. A man who cross-dresses is still a man.

My ex bought some women's pj bottoms from M&S, navy blue fluffy type...technically they're women's clothes.

For me it depends what clothes, dresses, makeup, porn 'look'- no way. Ziggy Stardust style- fine. Women's pj bottoms for warmth and comfort- fine!

I was being a bit fatuous with my last post. Yes, some men do it occasionally, and their wives have known from the outset and see it as an occasional bit of fun or a character quirk they can work round. Grayson Perry says his wife reckons it's better than having a football obsessed husband.

But this doesn't mean it's okay to keep it hidden from your wife and expect them to be cool with it when they find out. Nor does the fact that some women genuinely are cool with the idea mean that all women have to be (or that there's something morally superior about being cool with it - our sexual preferences are what they are and there's nothing wrong with having some non negotiable boundaries)

It would be a deal breaker for me. I couldnt look at him the same way after seeing him in a skirt, wig & make up

It would be a deal breaker for me.

1. I would hate the fact that hed lied to me (by ommission).
2. I would wonder what else he'd ever lied about.
3. I would question his sexuality (whether he was 'just' a heterosexual cross dresser or whether he felt he wanted to be a trans woman).
4. It would cause a total lack of trust.
5. Last but not least, I am repulsed by men in drag.

@Blackfriars
"To those who said it would be a deal-breaker - are you genuinely saying you would file for divorce/end a LTR if your DH/partner said 'When we have dinner at home on Friday night I'd like to wear lippy and a dress'? "
Yep, definitely. I truly find me in women's clothes and make-up revolting. I would talk to him and try to understand him but I couldn't stay in a relationship with him.

If it was a sexual/fetish thing then I’d have a problem with it. If he just liked the clothes then it wouldn’t bother me.

It wouldn't bother me in the least.

Deal-breaker here. I love my husband very much, but not unconditionally. There are all sorts of things he could do that would make me stop loving him.

I would probably still love him as a person if he cross dressed, but I wouldn't want to continue a relationship with him.

A man who cross dresses is still a man?
Not in my books. And I for one will not be amending any chapters.

I don't think anything of cross dressing at all but i have to admit i wouldn't like my partner to do it

It's always autogynephilia in reality isn't it? Or nearly always. And that would be a hell no from me. I also find men in drag repellent. Not least as drag acts are rooted in utter misogyny. My partner wanking away in a frock? I'd wish them well and move on. Quickly.

What @PanteneProV said. The secret would be the issue not the act.

The act isn't revolting or un-masculine for me. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to not feel unsettled by someone else's way of exploring themselves.

I hope there are women who do this too, who have a secret wardrobe of clothes from Debenhams men’s section, checked shirts, hush puppies, rugby-style open neck tees, golfing trousers etc. It would be a treat for their husbands to come home and find their wife manspreading in the armchair, drinking beer and eating cheese straight from the packet

Ummm...

checks house for webcam

Knitclubchatter Tue 11-Jun-19 17:09:38
A man who cross dresses is still a man?
Not in my books. And I for one will not be amending any chapters.

What is he? He isn’t a woman, just because he wears certain clothes. What clothes are for men and women are largely a matter of culture. There’s nothing magical or profound about any item of clothing. In some countries men wear garments that are pretty much dresses. And Scottish kilts are just skirts by another name. But because the culture is to view them as male clothing, they’re okay, right?

Cross dressing is far more than a man being attracted to feminine things. It's a sexual fetish, and I find it repellent.

I don't have to justify what turns me on, charlestonchaplin. We don't fancy people on the basis of what's good for society. It's not as though sex is a civil right.

A man who cross-dresses is still a man.

But not one who'll get into my knickers.

It would be the end of our relationship. I have been involved with a man who had a fetish - it left me feeling utterly objectified & worthless - I would never allow that to happen again.

I’m not asking you to fancy cross-dressing men, Prawn. I’m asking you to not contribute to the fallacy that men who cross-dress are really women

Being a man doesn’t involve wearing women’s clothing. Kilts are fine.
And no a man in women clothing isn’t a women either.

I think it would turn me on in a weird way 🙈🙈

Crossdressing is not a sign of a man insecure in his masculinity. If anything it is quite the opposite.

I genuinely wouldn't be bothered if my husband was crossdressing.