To be annoyed at family members printing my pics?

[DemelzaPoldark]

This has been annoying me for a while. Am I right to be annoyed?

My DM is over invested in, almost obsessed with my two DC. This is irritating as she frequently oversteps boundaries but DM and DC have good relationship.

Last year family holiday (me, DH and DC) I took lots of pics which I shared on social media to a limited audience of close family. I did this so that DM didn't have to worry or constantly phone to check up, could see kids were happy etc.

On return from holiday DM asked for printed copies of the photos. I said I might get round to it at some point. She kept asking and I kept putting her off. I felt she was being intrusive- my kids, my holiday, my photos. I didn't actually say no, but it was clear she wasn't getting the photos.
Fast forward to Christmas, Dsis presents DM with an album of my holiday, and other, photos which she had lifted from FB. She also presented me with one of my photos, blown up to 8x10 size in a frame (not a photo I really like). She hadn't asked permission. Obviously DM had been complaining that I wasn't providing what she wanted so Dsis decided to remedy the situation.

I do realise that by posting photos on social media you are leaving yourself open to this, but I had been careful to only share with trusted family members. Kids are teens who are firmly against their images being generally shared.

I have now made all my photos private to only me and have blocked DM and Dsis from FB. AIBI?

I do think it's a bit pushy to lift your photos off FB to print and it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

If you feel the need to you must set firm boundaries with your DM, it sounds like you've made a half hearted attempt to keep her at bay (being evasive and not giving her prints, but still sharing with her on FB....mixed message there and that's why this has happened)

Unclench ffs.

This happened at Christmas? We are now nearly halfway through June and you are so bothered STILL that you are posting now?

Jesus Christ.

YABU. You should have been clear and said you didn’t want them printed instead of just repeatedly fobbing your mother off. It sounds like your sister was trying to do a nice thing by printing them off for your mum as you didn’t seem to be getting around to it

This ^
You are being incredibly odd about this.
You shared them with the family, then gave the impression you couldn't get round to printing them, rather than being honest and saying "No, I'm weird, I will let you see pictures of the dc on social media, but not in print", which is what you are now saying you meant.

People are being pretty harsh and I think what your sister did was a bit weird but photos clearly mean a lot to your mum.

So much of this comes across as being controlling from the OP. And now you've blocked your own mother and sibling on FB because they won't do what you want, another controlling action.

@DemelzaPoldark

Why could your mother not download the pics she wanted (off facebook,) and go to Boots photo-kiosk machine and print them herself. (And then go to Wilkos for the photo frames as they are much cheaper than Boots for photo frames!) I do this with my adult children, when I see pics I like on their facebook.

I have a few pics of them in my 'family corner' in the dining room. They do know BTW as I ask them first, and they are perfectly happy with it. I also repost a few of their pics on my facebook (so my friends can see them.) Again, I ask them first. I would never take the pics and print them, or share them on facebook without asking...

I think you are being a bit precious and unreasonable, as it is perfectly understandable for people to want pics of their grandchildren (and adult children and partners/spouses...)

Why were you so reluctant for your mother to have pics of your kids?

I do think it was a little bit weird though, for your sister to print off pics of your kids and give them to your mother... Maybe because you weren't doing it, she turned to your sister to see if she would do it. As I said though, I still don't understand why your mother couldn't do it herself. If she is tech-savvy enough to use the internet and facebook, she is tech-savvy enough to download the pics, pop them onto a USB, and go to Boots to print them.

As an aside, I know a few people who have adult children who behave like you OP - getting annoyed easily by simple, normal, understandable requests from their parents (like pics of the grandkids, more than one phone call a month, to be able to see them more than once every 1 to 2 months, and to be able to be in their lives more without being made to feel like they are nuisance/intruding in their lives...) It's very hurtful for the parents whose (adult) children treat them like they are a nuisance..

I know SOME parents/mothers especially, can be a bit annoying an demanding, but some just want to be part of their adult child's life and don't want to be pushed down to the bottom of the pile and treated like a nuisance.

You are coming across (a bit) like one of these adult children... And BLOCKING your mother, and sister when they have done nothing wrong?! Very petulant and childish.

awaiting a massive drip feed.........

My dad prints my digital photos all the time that iv shared. Mum loves a hard copy to sit and look at. I think its sweet

My Mum died before my son was born. Count your blessings that your kids have a loving Gran and get over yourself.

What's the difference between online and printed? I regularly print pics of friends for calendars, books, presents etc. No one thinks it's strange. If you don't want them printed, then don't share them.

In the days of yore you'd have printed them, shown them her and possibly got her a couple for herself. This is exactly the same.

you sound very uptight and awkward, your poor mum.

and it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable what do you think she's doing with them??

If she is tech-savvy enough to use the internet and facebook, she is tech-savvy enough to download the pics, pop them onto a USB, and go to Boots to print them
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You've never met my DMIL...

My dad has a ton of pictures of my children all over his house, like a shrine!
But they are his grandchildren and it's a big part of his life to become a Grandad, of course, I don't mind.
YABU.

@SleepingStandingUp

You have never met my MIL!

Maybe someone should teach her? It's proper easy!

As I said I would have thought anyone who is internet savvy, should easily be able to download and print the pics off themselves..

Yabu don't post on sm if you don't want this to happen

I think it's a bit sad that you're making an issue of your mother loving her grand children. There are many unhappy families around the world, children without grandparents, grandparents who don't care about their grand children, split families, I could go on and on. You are very lucky if this is the only thing you have to worry about & I say that in a kind way. ☺

You need to tell us the BACK story, then we can put this into context. At the moment you are sounding entirely unreasonable.

Your mother loves your children, idolises them by the sound of it, do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a GM like that? Many gps are totally checked out and could not care less about their gc, your dc are very fortunate to have her, and you too. Unless you can tell us otherwise.

@mabelsgarden we've tried!! It's not a problem, she's got two sons and a dil for jobs like that 😂

@SleepingStandingUp

On the face of it it sounds bonkers and YABVVU.
Doting Granny wanted some pictures of her grandchildren, mum was too busy to do it and so Granny got it done herself with a bit of help from her other daughter and made the mum a lovely gift at the same time.
There is obviously more to this but without any context at all I can see why people have said what they have.

One day your Mum won't be here, and petty little things like this will be what stays with you - the guilt. Be grateful your Mum loves you and your family and is proud of your children.

I think in this situation, YABU. You shared them with your mum on FB, she could have saved them and printed them herself from there. If you don't want her to have them, then don't share them with her at all.

So, you wouldn't have minded your Mum printing off the pictures herself (distinct change from the original post) but your sister printing them off for her has resulted in you blocking them on Facebook?

Is there a massive back story here?

What are you on about?

You shared the pictures. Like many older people, she prefers printed pictures. You were (bizarrely) avoidant about printing them. Your sister thought you just couldn't be arsed, and did it for you. There is nothing here to get upset about.

YABVU.