To be annoyed at family members printing my pics?

[DemelzaPoldark]

This has been annoying me for a while. Am I right to be annoyed?

My DM is over invested in, almost obsessed with my two DC. This is irritating as she frequently oversteps boundaries but DM and DC have good relationship.

Last year family holiday (me, DH and DC) I took lots of pics which I shared on social media to a limited audience of close family. I did this so that DM didn't have to worry or constantly phone to check up, could see kids were happy etc.

On return from holiday DM asked for printed copies of the photos. I said I might get round to it at some point. She kept asking and I kept putting her off. I felt she was being intrusive- my kids, my holiday, my photos. I didn't actually say no, but it was clear she wasn't getting the photos.
Fast forward to Christmas, Dsis presents DM with an album of my holiday, and other, photos which she had lifted from FB. She also presented me with one of my photos, blown up to 8x10 size in a frame (not a photo I really like). She hadn't asked permission. Obviously DM had been complaining that I wasn't providing what she wanted so Dsis decided to remedy the situation.

I do realise that by posting photos on social media you are leaving yourself open to this, but I had been careful to only share with trusted family members. Kids are teens who are firmly against their images being generally shared.

I have now made all my photos private to only me and have blocked DM and Dsis from FB. AIBI?

@chamenanged I agree with you, just meant given she clearly didn't want her to have them as gm is "obsessed" and "over invested" she should have been honest.

Yabu and ridiculous

I think it's nice your mum wants to have pictures of her DGC. Seems like a normal thing to me.

Imagine your daughter not wanting you to have pictures of your grandchildren. It would probably hurt a bit, no?

You’ve freely given the photos to FB to keep on their servers forever. I think someone printing a copy is mild in comparison.

Joining the chorus of yabu.

I really hope there’s more to this story (eg your DM is generally a toxic nightmare and this is how you behave as a result) because otherwise you’re being massively unreasonable.

You didn’t say no. You think it was clear. It wasn’t. You said you may get round to it at some point. You didn’t. They probably just assumed you hadn’t had time.

And all this “my holiday, my photos” stuff is nonsense when you shared them with them in the first place.

Honestly, my kids only have one grandparent and she really doesn’t give much of a toss, so this is not something I’d be worked up about.

I suspect a huge drip feed is coming about how frequently she oversteps reasonable boundaries, however.

Really?

Your being completely bonkers. Changing your settings is crazy and will do nothing but cause real upset. Its holiday snaps for heavens sake.

I don't put pictures of DC on Facebook for that reason. If they ask for photos I will send them via WhatsApp in private.

This is why I don't put any photos on Facebook.

Op What is the difference between digital image and printed? I really can’t understand the difference if I look at an image on my computer or on a photo? I’m still seeing the image?

Yabu why don't you want your DM to have pics of you and your family I think it's lovely that she wants pics of you all

Bizarre! You not your mum or your dsis. You sound like hard work. Unless there is going to be some huge drip feed.

I'm with you op.
We came home from holiday once and my mum presented me with an envelope of our holiday photos she had printed off. We hadn't even unpacked our suitcases. It annoyed me so much. I can't explain why, yes I had already given her the digital versions. It just seemed like such a weird thing to do. She thought she was being nice, being helpful, saving me a job, nice surprise etc etc. But it was weird and I didn't like it.

Crinkle77 you are right. There is a back story. Isn't there always?
Nice to be told I need to grow up and am fucking mean! Jeez! Mumsnet is cruel!

Jeez, I thought this thread was going to about copyright or publicly sharing photos without consent.

Sorry, OP, but YABU.

Your teens would probably prefer their gran having printed photos than you plastering them all over facebook.

I think you are unreasonable in the first place for not letting your mum have printed copies of your photos in the first place. Your mum must have been upset about this to have mentioned it to your sister who was trying to do something nice for her.

As for your teens - you posted the pictures on social media in the first place!!

Next year you get in first - make her up a calendar of chosen pictures for her Christmas present and involve your DC in deciding which pictures to use so it's their choice.

Mykids, my holiday, my photos

That's probably one of the oddest things I've read on here in response to a grandparent who would like some photos of their GC.

My only concern is that the quality of photos downloaded from facebook is generally appalling. That would annoy me.

Without the back story OP this does sound a bit of an odd thing to get so upset about. My cousins printed our holiday photos for my nan years ago as she asked and it didn't occur to me to be upset, but we had a good relationship

Your behaviour has been quite passive aggressive and unreasonable. But you say that there's a backstory - are you getting support with this? Are you in therapy?

FWIW, I would never print someone else's pics without checking first

Well yeah, its be weird to print pictures from your friend's FB, but not your daughter's.

Unless there is going to be some huge drip feed.

Oh yes, there's mention of a back story.

What a bizarre post. You've blocked their grandmother and their aunt for the audacity of wanting photos of their relatives - photos freely available on social media, and after you were frankly weird and obtrusive in refusing to let them have any?

Is this a reverse?

I find it incredibly uncomfortable about how you state your DM is ‘obsessed’ with your DC.

That’s what grandparents do...