Was I rude...talking during movie

[Lotuslots]

This is so absolutely stupid. We are both in our fifties....new friends through work and both a bit lonely I would say and both looking for new friends. And it is seems to be so hard to make new friends in this age group. I don't know why it should be so hard.....but I don't want this opportunity to pass me by.
We went and say rocketman today. She is a big Elton john fan...me not so much but looking forward to the movie though. Our first move together.
To no drip feed... I am someone who thinks that when you are out in public your ultimate goal is not to have everyone have to think about you. I.e. your presence is mostly unnoticed.
In the movie from the moment it started she began commenting. I ignored and didn't respond. She just kept talking. All through the movie....comments about her favourite songs...she knew this was a difficult part of his life.... wasn't the acting so good. It did not stop. I ignored all of it. And she did not stop. I never turned my head....just ignored it all.
But after the movie finished.....still in the cinema..... she said well goodbye I am going now. And walked off. Obviously not happy with me.
Im lost. I want a new friend. But do I want a new friend who talks all through a movie. I am just like what the hell. Is it me.I really don't know.

Jeez some people here have a word perception of manners. If you wanna talk through something stay at home.

Fortunately I'd like to say that must people at the cinema seem to understand the stfu rule.

I suppose there are some people who see nothing wrong with putting your feet up on the seats in front of you or rustling throughout the whole thing.

The one benefit from about many modern cinemas is that are often so loud you can't even hear the person next to you even if they tried to speak.

Although once, at a picture house i was in a film where a man decided to do a running commentry.

Man falls off cliff

"That man just feel off the cliff!" And so on.

He got shushed by his friend several times with no effect, told to shut up by the fellow behind him and moaned "is a free world" which seems the go to excuse for people who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. After being told in a less than polite manner he did shut up. I guess you have to fight rudeness with rudeness.

You were extremely rude, why would you just ignore her instead of politely telling her you'd talk after?

Does this not go without saying, if you are in the cinema?! Sorry I cannot imagine an adult who doesn't know its ridiculous to talk right through a film. You really should not have to say to anyone (besides maybe a small child) that talking in the cinema is stupid and selfish and you will discuss the film when its finished, maybe going for coffee or something to dissect it.

What adult, would not get the hint really. I mean, she must have known to start with that normal people don't talk throughout a film, then not geting an answer (which would likely have been taken as encouragment to talk even more!) would eman you wou.d..shut up..not keep going surely? Social cues and common sense and all.

As I said, I would have told her to button it (more politely though) and if she kept going told her again, then moved. However, ignoring her is really not that bad a response IMO. And, when realising that the person with you does not want to talk all through a film, you would shut up..surely..

And the other woman most likely didn't intend to be rude either....

Sorry, absoltuely no way I could believe that someone who talked literally right through a fil at the cinema did not realise they were being rude. Unless its the first tme shes ever been there, then possibly, but you would think that the advert telling people to basically shut up and enjoy the film would have gave her a clue..

Good thing I wasn’t there. I’d have asked her to be quiet. And if she carried on would have progressed to “Shut the fuck up”. It’s massively rude.

I would have said: 'Yes it's great!? Let's talk afterwards.'

@BatShite I don't really agree with you. Only on MM have I seen people so worked up about this issue. There is no rule saying you must be absolutely silent in the cinema and that you cannot even bring snacks that make a sound. It's just way over the top. If you want complete silence when you watch a film, don't choose to watch it in a room with 50+ other people.

Fonxey

Sure, that person was incredibly rude.
But there's a huge difference between your scenario and this.

The OP did not say anything. And neither did anyone else (did they?)...

I don't think anyone is saying that the other woman should have talked throughout the movie. And I would assume that she had stopped if the OP had told her to / said anything about wanting to talk later.

Ignoring your friend / acquaintance for about 2 (?) hours is certainly not an example of good manners either.

Letting someone cluelessly embarrass themselves by breaking social protocol (by not mentioning anything about being quiet / preferring to talk later)? That actually sounds fairly awful to me.

I'd also like to point out that if a random stranger told me to 'shut the fuck up', as many of you have suggested you would have done, then you would not be met with a courteous response.

I am someone who thinks that when you are out in public your ultimate goal is not to have everyone have to think about you. I.e. your presence is mostly unnoticed

I find this really sad OP. Yes it's good to be considerate of others but there are billions of us on this planet - we are allowed to notice each other. There are articles like this one which discuss how these low-level easy connections make your days much happier. I suspect if you tried to be a little bit more noticeable in public you might then find it easier to make the jump to friendship. It's nice to be noticed in a positive way, you don't have to hide the entire time.

You and your new friend are very different. You're very aware of your impact on others and try to minimise it, she's blissfully unaware and might not change even if she was. I think a quick "can we talk afterwards, we could go for a coffee" would have been far preferable to ignoring her. My mum is often lonely and will yabber way whilst watching TV. It drives me nuts but she spends so long with my dad, who is such bad company, that she just needs to talk. True she manages to avoid talking in the cinema but if your friend is lonely I can see the issue for her. I'd maybe give things one more go.

And get out there and find more friends through hobby groups. Would you have time to volunteer for a local charity? Anything like that would help.

Sorry, absoltuely no way I could believe that someone who talked literally right through a fil at the cinema did not realise they were being rude.

I find it difficult to believe that anyone would intentionally ignore their friendship date for about two hours and let them embarrass themselves without trying to be rude....

But it apparently happened. Some people are socially anxious, others are oblivious... 🤷🏻‍♀️

And without knowing the OP or the other woman personally / knowing more about this occurrence? I wouldn't want to assume maliciousness...

If you continued to talk after being asked not to @Pinkyyy, l’d offer the cinema management a choice of ejecting you or refunding my money. Do you seriously spoil people’s enjoyment in this way?

I very rarely go to the cinema as I have a terrible attention span and prefer to watch films in a couple of sittings, about an hour each time.

If i do go then I wait until the film has been out for a few weeks, then go to an early showing on a week day to try and minimise the number of others that will be there. Last couple of times we have had the place to ourselves, which was great! Watched in absolute silence!

It's perfectly fine to be nice to one another, and interact, and chat a bit if someone wants to make conversation (as some people get very lonely.) Indeed, some people have stated that their interaction with checkout operators, shop assistants, cashiers, and doctors (and their receptionists,) and the like, is the only human interaction they get.

It is NOT perfectly fine however, to be fucking gasbagging and yabbering on, throughout a FILM that most people have paid probably a tenner to go and see - not including the car parking fees/travel costs, and food they may have bought.

I will complain, and HAVE complained to the ushers when people won't stop talking, (or are rudely scrolling through their damn phone,) and they come in and tell the person to be quiet/switch off their phone...

If you want to yak yak yak yak yak during a film at the cinema, like some entitled, selfish little child, then FUCK. THE. FUCK. OFF! out of the auditorium, because you are spoiling the enjoyment of the film for MANY others who have paid good money to see it (and HEAR it!)

They are the same arsehats who go to the swimming pool, (with their mate) and spend the whole fucking time yabbering at the side of the pool together, hardly doing any swimming, and getting in everyone's way! They are also the same arsehats who talk very loudly in restaurants and cafes, because they like the sound of their own voice, and think everyone should hear them. They are also the same arsehats who do performance parenting! etc etc etc...

In short, attention-seeking pillocks!

I have a friend like that. Her husband once made me sit between them through the last Lord of the Rings film. She made many comments like "Haha, that Hobbit is called Mary" (Merry) etc, then as Frodo dragged his broken body up the volcano at Mordor to cast the ring in (after 5 long years and 3 long films) she asked quite seriously "God, what's wrong with him, anyway?"

But outside of cinemas she's perfectly normal - I wouldn't ditch a friend over this, just don't do film night with her.

@Pinkyyy I hope that you would get thrown out if you continued to talk.

Why on earth do you think people should have to put up with hearing you blather on when they want to watch a film? Usually a film that they cannot watch at home for a few months. You come across as very narcissistic.

rainbowsallaround Sun 09-Jun-19 11:50:19
Also starting to see why neither of you have any friends!

Not spreading many f**ing rainbows today are you with that unkind comment.

She was rude.

Watching John wick last week, a bloke would not shut up.
Someone yelled out "mate, unless you're paid by the word shut the fuck up" everyone turned and stared at the noisy bastard.

It worked.

I'd also like to point out that if a random stranger told me to 'shut the fuck up', as many of you have suggested you would have done, then you would not be met with a courteous response.

I would probably skip ‘the fuck’ when telling you to be quiet but, believe me, if you continued to talk when I have paid money to watch a film/show/performance, you would find my response to your entitledness far from courteous. I have and will continue to have people removed for this behaviour.

Only on MM have I seen people so worked up about this issue.

Only on MN have you ever seen people who think that you do not sit gobbing through a film at the cinema? I find that very hard to believe, though maybe its true in your circles and that might be why its so common to get inconsiderate people who just talk through films and that and think its fine.

If you want to talk through it, bloody wait til you can watch it at home.

No way is it only on MN that people know you should be quiet in the cinema. Theres even an ad right before film telling everyone to turn phones off and shut up!

There is no rule saying you must be absolutely silent in the cinema and that you cannot even bring snacks that make a sound. It's just way over the top.

Also clearly this is ridiculous and noone said that. Its usual to bring snacks to a cinema, and I don;t quite understand why bringing snacks that make a sound..has even been brought into a conversation about a woman who purposely spoke through an entire film. Not really seeing the correlation, nor the need to bring out straw men to try and defend this ridiculous behaviour.

YANBU. That would annoy the shit out of me. I think occassional whispered comments are ok if they are short and funny (IE wtf is he wearing?! haha) but that's about it.

I would’ve done the same! Who talks during a film like that?!?

I have friends who are definitely not cinema friends, as much as I love them, I can only suppress the urge to tell them to shut up by focusing on keeping my mouth closed and hoping my head doesn't explode.

They are 'meet for dinner' friends and they are wonderfully adept at keeping the conversation fast and interesting.

The cinema is an odd place to go when forging a new friendship though, especially if one person is typically lonely.

She was SO rude. I'd have done what you did and ignored her in the hope that se would stop.

But if I'd been near the two of you, there would have been a strong glare, and a Sssssshhhh, repeated until she shut up.

People’s lack of manners in the cinema is one of the reasons why I go in the morning myself.
Usually I have the cinema to myself, it’s like a private screening. Sheer bliss.
I agree with teyem. Maybe she could be a meet for dinner friend