Leave children 9/11

[ohwhattodowithmylife]

Just wondering if anyone would
Leave 9/11 year old early morning at home to go to the gym. Gym is a 10 min drive away, session 45 mins so would be just over an hour. Would be home to get them up and off to school.
11 year old is very sensible. No husband/
To help.

I don't think I could. Just a bit too young.

Yes I think so if they were comfortable with it and i was always contactable. I would probably alert a trustworthy neighbour so i knew that someone could get to them in seconds if needed.

I personally wouldn’t, they are too young imo and it’s not fair on them.
What if there was an emergency, a fire or something? What if you had a car accident on the way to or from the gym?
Can’t you just do a some sort of home workout / DVD or something downstairs so you don’t have to leave them?

No it's not fair on the 11 yo.

I would

They need supervision for getting ready for school or at least some level of monitoring to ensure they are doing so.
A sensible 11 year old will not be able to manage a 9 year old being difficult. They are also likely to be on the verge of their own behaviour changes.

I wouldn't. I am however very pro parenting and I believed that one of the most important things you can ever do for your kids is be there. No, they don't need you to be there, yes they can manage on their own for that time, but I think it's really important that you are actually there. It's what builds the bonds and security that means they will come to you in the future when they need you.

We do that every Saturday morning. They're asleep most of the time we're gone anyway.

Just to clarify, they would be asleep. When I get home I would wake them/ make breakfast and get them ready for school.
No DVD doesn't work for me, I go to a gym where you are pushed and I need that for my physical and mental health, just trying to
Find a way to make it work. Thought I would get opinions.

No definitely not ok.

No, not for something like gym. I might on a once off dire emergency.

No, I wouldn't and haven't. 13/11 maybe.

No way would I leave to kids of that age asleep (or awake!) and go out. What if there was a fire/someone broke in? It’s just not right when they are that age.

Put them first, not yourself. No excuse for this.

No not for gym

No absolutely not. I'm stunned people think it's ok to leave kids this age alone whilst sleeping! It's hardly fair on the 11 year old.

Do you work? Could you do a lunchtime class?

No

Definitely not okay. They aren’t old enough to be left! If something happened to them you would (and should) be charged with neglect.

No. I can see the temptation but not when they’re asleep. Waking up to no adult in the house is a really sad start to the day for a child of those ages but more than that, children don’t wake up for smoke alarms. They sleep straight through them.

Find a class after school and plonk them on a chair with a book / tablet.

It sucks being a single parent, I know.

No. 9 is far too young and 11 is questionable.
I’d maybe leave the 11 year old for half an hour but not both of them. The gym isn’t a need, there are other ways of prioritising your well being.

No and definitely not on a school morning. As an one-off on a weekend and if they were both awake before you left, then possibly ok. But leaving sleeping children - no. What if something happened in the house eg a fire. You're trusting them to wake up and evacuate even though most recent research shows that children aren't woken by traditional smoke alarms.

I'm not sure I would at those ages but I am rather cautious . I'm guessing the risks are as much about what might happen to you , as what might happen to them. I do leave my DCs now - but the younger is 11- to occasionally go early morning swimming- and that's worse than the gym because I'm not directly contactable when in the water.
I really empathise with you because I'm a single parent (widow) too, I understand how difficult it is to have any time/ ambitions/ goals/ interests/ hobbies/ social life/ pleasure/ life/away from DCs, and I understand how important sport and exercise can be for your wellbeing.
I partly justify it to myself by saying What would Social Services make of it, if something went wrong while I was out. I like to think it would somehow not be viewed as badly if I was at the gym or pool, as it would be if I was out drinking. But maybe that's not true...
If you really need to do it, then you need to make sure they are happy to be left and are well prepared for a variety of emergency scenarios.

Not whilst they’re asleep. I think awake fine for the 11 yo. Not the 9 yo.

I probably would

I think it is probably reasonable if you are confident that even if they wake up they will be sensible. My criteria for leaving my children singly or together always included "are they happy about it?"- for me it was mainly leaving the youngest in bed to go to something in the evening when his father wasn't quite home. I tried to ensure that if he needed me to wait I did, and over time he became more likely to warn me I was going to be late for a rehearsal :)

11 and 13 I would, not a 9 year old though. How about after work, with you booking a babysitter? You'd probably find a local student who'd do it for a fiver each time, which compared to a gym membership I'm thinking would be a drop in the ocean.