Leave children 9/11

[ohwhattodowithmylife]

Just wondering if anyone would
Leave 9/11 year old early morning at home to go to the gym. Gym is a 10 min drive away, session 45 mins so would be just over an hour. Would be home to get them up and off to school.
11 year old is very sensible. No husband/
To help.

Yes I would. Where I live, most children age 9 walk to school alone - or go to a small park to play football for an hour or so after school which is about 10 or 15 mins walk from home. They have to deal with dangers like crossing roads and be aware of strangers etc.

My 9 year old would be happy at home sleeping or watching TV but I would make sure he knows what to do in various situations that might arise - like a fire or a someone knocking at the door.

No way - not asleep - if they were to wake up to the smell of smoke or worst not wake up at all because this age group is not going to wake up easily.
I agree, my smoke alarm went off for a few seconds a couple of times the other night, I woke up straight away, my 13 year old slept right through it.

My DS was home alone for an hour or so at 8 years old, and on inset days at 10, asleep is somehow different though.

Hm... The 11 yo may be very sensible. But is the 9 yo as well?

Because if not... You're banking on the idea that the 11 yo will enforce sensible behaviour. That's not fair to the 11 yo. What if the 11 yo fails and something happens? That amount of guilt...

I mean, would you leave the 9yo alone as well?

(I have only read 3 pages, so you may have mentioned that.)

No way! I'm going to be harsh here, so op, i want you to know that this is not directed just at you, but at everyone that has threads that are asking if it's ok to leave young children.
it is not ok, if you are questioning whether it is ok then it means that they are too young, your children did not ask to be born, you chose to have them, now be a parent! that means missing out on things, cos it's not about what you want anymore, it's about what they NEED.
The gym is not a necessity, if you are serious about keeping fit you will find a way with out leaving two young, vulnerable children alone while they sleep.
children are not a burden or an inconvenience, they are a privilege, if you don't want to do what's best for them or put them first, then don't have them.
and yes, i am a single parent, have been for many years, and yes, i have missed out on many opportunities, and no, i wouldn't change a thing, cos my DC comes first.

old they need a healthy parent. A cooped up parent in poor health isn't a good parent. For lone parents something has to give.

I wonder what the more likely risk is? . Parent in accident driving to gym (unlikely) or parent struggling mentally and in poor physical health due to lack of exercise (likely, especially a lone parent)?

I'd bribe them to go with you to parkrun at weekends (I did this). I had a run and they had McDonald's for breakfast.

Can they cycle while you run? We sometimes get a few miles in and head to a cafe.

i agree that children need a healthy parent, but if exercise is that important she'll find a way to be motivated at home to exercise or with the kids, not by leaving them sleeping, i had to, going to the gym is not more important than your children.

I always find sanctimonious judgy parents to actually be the worst parents

I think it's safe to say everyone wants the best for their children. (Except the thankfully rare abusers).
Some people think the best for their children is to expose them in small steps to things.
It's fine not to agree with that, oldnewmum, but nonsense to think that anyone who does, simply doesn't care about their kids as much as you do.

Sorry, but no way would I regularly leave a 9yr old in bed alone sleeping. If I was aware of someone else doing it I would be worried enough to call the SSPCC for advice.

I do leave my DD1 (10) on her own occasionally when I pick DD2 (7) up from a school activity or from a friend's house. But that's for no more than 20 minutes at the most. I obviously wouldn't leave them both with DD2 being too young.

I can't imagine I'll be going out and leaving them on their own at the ages of the OP's DC, and definitely not when they're asleep. But then, they're adopted and DD1 in particular has attachment issues.

I'm not criticising the OP, as all children are different and it's a judgement call for all parents.

No way.

Luckily I never had to 'think twice' . I always knew exactly what my children were or weren't capable of oldmumnewmum. And left them according to when I thought it appropriate.

As far as 'being a better parent' goes. I can safely say that as a child of a parent who sacrificed her every waking moment on the altar of motherhood - I would prefer a mother who left us alone and went the gym , if this looked after her mental health. !

Whilst the idea of a mother who is 'always there for them' may sound wonderful for some, to some of us it feels distinctly unhealthy for all concerned.

It simply comes down to different parenting styles.

Thanks all for the responses. Always amazes me how these things can a little heated!

I have read all the responses, people are right they are my children and I do know them best. I know they are super sensible and would behave appropriately. However at the mo I don't feel comfortable to go quite so far early in the morning. I'm going to check out the sweat app and also joined couch to 5k app. Might try to get them to join me doing it.

I imagine in a year or so I will feel differently, thanks for the responses which helped me mull it over in my mind xxx