Leave children 9/11

[ohwhattodowithmylife]

Just wondering if anyone would
Leave 9/11 year old early morning at home to go to the gym. Gym is a 10 min drive away, session 45 mins so would be just over an hour. Would be home to get them up and off to school.
11 year old is very sensible. No husband/
To help.

@freshstartnewme

Do you sit and watch youtube with your kids?

No. Would you think it was ok to leave them in the evening after they had gone to sleep for an hour to go to the pub? Maybe find an after school club/activity for them and go then or something on the weekends? What if there was a fire, your younger one woke up poorly? Fell down the stairs? A burglar broke in? You had an accident on the way or back?

I think I’d be uncomfortable with then waking up in an empty house. Rather than leaving kids that age for that length of time. An hour on a Saturday afternoon when people are about seems fine. An early morning not so much. Not sure why.

I always wake my kids 14 and 11 (much to their disgust) before I go to work in the holidays, so we can have breakfast together. I don’t like thought of them waking and me or DP not being there.

Do you sit and watch youtube with your kids?

No I don't. Not sure what your point is?

I disagree with @freshstartnewme

I actually do think it's things like this that teach our children independence, and confidence. You're basically telling them 'I trust you to do this.' That improves their confidence.
I know a few children who are being treated as if they're younger than they are. So, they act like it.

And I also disagree with the you tube dig. No thanks to watching unpacking shop kins or the ten cutest kittens with my kids.

I'm In the same position OP though my kids are a little younger. I'm considering doing a running route next year that circles past the house every ten mins or so so that if there was an issue they can intercept me, but I wouldn't leave them asleep quite at that age. However I also very much believe that no one size fits all and some kids at 9 and 11 would be perfectly fine, others at 13 wouldn't be.

My dc are 9 and 11 and I wouldn't, not while they're asleep in bed. I might consider it on a weekend afternoon if I knew one of the neighbours was in just in case.

I wouldn't. Have you thought about using something like the Sweat app to work out at home? I've found it quite good at motivating me and they have a free trial.

Not while they're asleep.

I'm a LP too and know how cooped you can feel . I've only just started leaving my 12 and 10yr old alone. Only for an hour and for supermarket, run and allotment. The house hasn't burned down and they haven't killed each other yet.

I'm struggling with my MH too. After a decade of not being able to exercise properly (only twice a week which is not enough) I'm clinging on until they're at secondary and I can nip out to gym classes a few times a week.

I really like that idea angrybird.
You could do a circuit. 10min run, home 50 squats, 10min run, home 20 press-ups, 10 min run, home etc

i would have been left at that age from time to time. at age 11 i would walk home from high school on my own and pick up my 9 year old sister from primary school on the way. this was back in 2001. lived in a not-that-small town, about 30,000 people.

Any chance you could do a class on the weekend, when your kids are already up? Install them on the sofa together and let them watch a video while you're away, make sure they know how to reach you? I agree your mental and physical health are very important too, and your kids will only benefit from a healthy and active mum!

I think the most important thing to consider is whether they themselves are comfortable being left on their own for an hour. I was babysitting a 2 and 4 year old by the time I was 12, but not every 12 year old would have been confident and responsible enough to manage that.

There seem to be many thread where parents are asking if it is ok to leave their kids and BABIES unattended.....if you have to ask on Mumsnet then you need parenting classes. People should not have kids if they are later on going to be an inconvenience. Arrange childcare and have your 'me time' or just stay with them.

None of us know your children. You know whether they are sensible enough to be left or not, you know whether it would upset them or not. 9 year olds can vary wildly. I was regularly alone from a much younger age and I liked it. Better that than being dragged somewhere I didn’t want to go, and I was perfectly happy doing what I’d do whether there was a parent there or not. Reading, watching TV etc. As you can see, you’ve had varying opinions on here so the choice is really down to you.

Says - they would be much happier to stay at home then being dragged around!

Irishgal, I'm
Asking for opinion since the eldest travels to and from school on her own and the 9 year old is also very sensible. It's very easy to judge, my circumstances have changed drastically and I am not in the fortunate position to pay for childcare

I think it's really difficult to say without knowing the children. At those ages, some kids can be really sensible and mature and some can be complete loons. Or they might be one of each!

If they get on, if they are kind to each other and don't wind each other up, and are pretty sensible, I'd say it's ok.

But then I was left home alone for short periods from the age of 6, which would probably be enough for child protection proceedings these days.

No, they are too young for you to do this for a non-emergency.

For us, strange as it may sound, it makes a difference if you have pets! When I run through all the things dd9 needs to do if home alone with her, she gets everything right, until we get to the 'if there's a fire, you need to get out immediately, leave everything else in the house.' You can see from her face that she plans to go and get her hamster out first. So, it depends entirely on the kids.

I'm late 20's and all my friends at that age were walking to school alone and parents gone to work.
But it's different these days. I would ask what the legal stance is rather than other people's opinions.
If legally according to ss for example you can leave them alone for an hour to 2 and no risk of neglect slurs then I would go by that.

Fine for an 11 year old - mine takes the train to senior school like all his friends (although he is turning 12 this month) so I don’t see the difference as they are safer at home....but not for a 9 year old. Also i wouldn’t leave my 11 year old at home “in charge” or anyone younger. He’s responsible enough to take care of himself but with another’s child he might get up to mischief.

Depends on the children, but I would.

11 year old yes, but not sure if it's fair to be responsible for the 9 year old. How do they get on normally?

I think I'd feel safer in the early evening rather than them being asleep, with possibly a well known neighbour on call if needed.

Not whilst they're asleep. Depends on their maturity, my parents often left me and my brother at those ages to go shopping.

Pressed post before I was finished, for 45 minutes? I would if they were awake.

For now I'd look at alternatives - Parkrun at the weekend where they can come with you and stay close by (depending on the venue), Junior Parkrun where you can all take part, BMF in a park (that definitely pushes you) where they can stay close by.