Leave children 9/11

[ohwhattodowithmylife]

Just wondering if anyone would
Leave 9/11 year old early morning at home to go to the gym. Gym is a 10 min drive away, session 45 mins so would be just over an hour. Would be home to get them up and off to school.
11 year old is very sensible. No husband/
To help.

Everyone i know has left their kids home alone from about 8/9 yo onwards. But...somehow I think it's worse that they're asleep rather than awake.

Personally, no. My eldest children are 13 and 11 and I would be hesitant to leave them alone just yet. However, no judgement, each child’s maturity level is different and my 2 are very young for their ages.

A lot of Kids here are expected to make journeys of up to 30 miles using public transport when they hit 11, navigating trains and bus services.

I see no problem with what you're suggesting at all.......little responsibilities like this are really important in the build up to reaching secondary school age and edging towards independence.

When my DC went to senior school she had a house key and went home if there were no school clubs ( I was at work) . I guess she was a latch key child. Depending on the day she would also collect her sister from junior school and they would walk home together. It made them closer and very responsible, i.e. They know how the house alarm works, neighbours phone numbers ,,,
I am so impressed that you can even consider going to the gym befor school.

If your gut feeling is no, then no.

Ive been flamed before for leaving mine.
My 10 year old used to take 5 year old to school (we would get the bus together, children get off and walk 5 minutes to school) i would stay on and go to work.

I initially left them home alone at about 12 and 7 years old, when the sitter did not show (had key etc)
I got home from work and they had been home alone, fine.

Circumstances now changed, children older, different schools.
My youngest is now 10, and does not go to school alone as not mature enough.

I dont think people get it, until they are alone, alone, alone.
No family, resources or friends who can step in, no government support, and having to provide.

On a personal level, I wish you all the very best.

Onacleardayyoucansee thank you, yes I agree when you have no one to help it's hard and not easy for others to understand. Someone commented me going to the gym can't be a priority now.However if I am too ill to work or I die i have no one to look after/support us and no one I would happily have responsibility for my children should I die.
It could be argued therefore that keeping myself fit should be a priority.

I would. They can call you if there is a problem & you’re 10 minutes away.

At 11 I was getting two buses into the city centre from my village to go to school. On my own!
Kids need to become independent at some point!

I think that would be fine.

TBH, you’re probably not going to die because you don’t go to the gym.

Kids need to become independent at some point!

Independence does not come from being left alone whilst asleep at 9 years old.

No way.

I do, we leave the 12 and 9 year old while we go shopping and stuff they hate doing. They are usually in the exacht same spot we left them staring at youtube. They know they aren't allowed make food or answer the door. The 12 year old has a phone so they can call. He is in high school so I would expect him to be capable of an hour or 2 on his own and the year old is more sensible then him anyway.

Keeping fit is important but you don’t need to go to the gym in the early hours of the morning. Nor do you need to be in a class to push yourself.

Sorry but these are preferences

we leave the 12 and 9 year old while we go shopping and stuff they hate doing. They are usually in the exacht same spot we left them staring at youtube

Completely unsupervised access to YouTube, at NINE years old

Heddagarbled - sounds dramatic but when you are on your own it's a real concern. Wrong
Side of 40, slightly overweight - carrying weight in
The most risky place for heart attacks!

Lemon Tt -'possibly but proven to work where others have failed in the case of the gym

Are you back in time to have breakfast with DCs?

Yes coffeecoffeetea

I would

I've been wondering about this too OP, with my 8yr old. I got a lot of heat from family when I asked for opinions. Still unsure what to do!

My ds is sensible and I often pop out for 30mins to the shop up the road...He's always in the same place.

I feel your pain. It's so hard when you can't do what you want, because you have zero help

I absolutely would do this. You know your kids. You know if they're sensible - I've left my 7 & 5 year olds to go and walk the dogs at 5am when DH is away, just tell them that if they wake up and I'm not there, they're to stay in bed until I get back. Never once have they ever gotten into mischief.

Your 12 year old is responsible enough for the short amount of time you're away!

As for "pro-parenting" - wtf is pro-parenting? Is it the opposite of what the rest of us who leave our kids are doing? Are we con-parenting??? Jesus Christ, the labels we give ourselves...

I think if they are happy with this it is probably fine-at those ages I would worry if they woke up would they feel frightened to be alone. But that said at around those ages (I have a bigger age gap so 9 and 13) I did sometimes leave them alone in the morning while the slept to go for a quick run with the dog but that was more 20-30 min max.

Exercise is important for mental health. Maybe a running group would work that would help with the motivation aspect? And a pp's suggestion that having a neighbour on hand who was aware and could be there quickly if needed is good

I had a thread recently about leaving mine overnight (they are now 16 and 12) and had a lot of varied reactions. I had the neighbour alerted, they actually preferred it to either doing sleepover with friend or having the neighbour sleepover - all turned out fine (but that was more a one-off for work and won't be a regular thing!)

Freshstartnewme no need to make a dig at the op implying she is not 'pro parenting'

@ohwhattodowithmylife I didn't say that you thought it was ok. I was talking about the people on the thread saying they thought it was ok.

Fair enough Ginger1982 x