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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leave children 9/11

140 replies

ohwhattodowithmylife · 08/06/2019 23:11

Just wondering if anyone would
Leave 9/11 year old early morning at home to go to the gym. Gym is a 10 min drive away, session 45 mins so would be just over an hour. Would be home to get them up and off to school.
11 year old is very sensible. No husband/
To help.

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody456 · 08/06/2019 23:51

I personally wouldn’t. Not only because of the fire/car accident chances - I know it sounds far fetched, but what if you couldn’t trust one of your neighbours or anybody else in the neighbourhood, and they started noticing you leaving at the same time by yourself on certain mornings. Knowing that you have young kids and that they are in there alone

AtSea1979 · 08/06/2019 23:52

Phew, the relief. I thought this was going to be some weird thread about kids being in the twin towers.

Teddybear45 · 08/06/2019 23:52

I would if the 9 yo were sensible. If they need close supervision just to behave then no.

NameChangerAmI · 08/06/2019 23:54

No. It would be sad for the 9 year old to wake up and you not be there, and too much responsibility for the 11 year old to be looking out for the 9 year old.

Original poster
ohwhattodowithmylife · 08/06/2019 23:56

Thanks all, good to canvas opinion. My gut feeling has been a no, I don't think
I would be able do it without the constant worry something would happen.

They will be coming home alone from school
Next year one day a week and will be alone until
I get home approx an hour.

It is hard being single, I work so no
Lunchtime or after school/ evening classes.
No family to help either.

OP posts:
JE17 · 08/06/2019 23:57

Yes I would. You know your DC best, how would they be if they woke up while you were out? Happy to read in bed / come down and put the tv on til you get home?

HeddaGarbled · 08/06/2019 23:57

No, I wouldn’t. Presumably you’re working full time which is why you can’t go to gym while they’re at school? Could you do a lunch-time session? Or after work while they are at after school club?

Original poster
ohwhattodowithmylife · 08/06/2019 23:58

Sorry atsea1979, I thought that when I reread!!

OP posts:
scubadive · 08/06/2019 23:59

Yes They will be fine. You need to look after your physical and mental health and limited options as a single mum with no help.

Littlechocola · 08/06/2019 23:59

Depends on the children. Would they be able to contact you if they woke/in an emergency ?
How far is the gym?
Could they alert neighbors etc?

Original poster
ohwhattodowithmylife · 08/06/2019 23:59

FurrySlipperboots, that would be an ideal solution but the gym membership is a push no way I could afford anything additional.

OP posts:
AbbyHammond · 09/06/2019 00:02

I would, I think an hour an 9 is fine. I leave my 8 year old for up to half an hour.

Original poster
ohwhattodowithmylife · 09/06/2019 00:03

JE17 they are very sensible and
Would watch tv and probably get ready for school if they woke up. They are capable
Of ringing me and other on the phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohwhattodowithmylife · 09/06/2019 00:05

Ginger1982, I don't say I think
It is ok, I'm simply asking for the opinion
Of others!

OP posts:
janetforpresident · 09/06/2019 00:05

A pp has made a good point about smoke alarms. I think its better to leave them when they were awake.

I think it may have to be youtube exercise videos for another year or 2.

I was left for short periods at 9/10 in the day. No more than an hour and not very often but i was fine.

EleanorOalike · 09/06/2019 00:06

It’s an absolute no from me I’m afraid. I couldn’t contemplate this but that’s probably because my parent regularly left me and I know how insecure I felt, especially when I woke up alone. I’m sorry but I do think your kids have to come first - there are lots of great free videos on Youtube that can be done from home until they are a bit older.

DaftWeeBun · 09/06/2019 00:08

I would have no problem doing it. I'm pretty sure I did tbh

hibbledibble · 09/06/2019 00:12

Could you use an exercise dvd while they are asleep?

Loftyswops988 · 09/06/2019 00:15

I'm normally pretty lax about stuff like this but I would say 9 is a bit too young. Maybe in a year or two when they are 11 and 13 i would say is more reasonable!

Smidge001 · 09/06/2019 00:17

I'm really surprised at how many people are horrified at this suggestion! 9 and 11 isn't unreasonable in my mind at all. Surely loads of kids walk to and from school alone by that age? An hour is nothing, especially when they'll be asleep for most of it. As long as they know where you are and could contact you, I don't see the issue.

HerRoyalNotness · 09/06/2019 00:18

Mine are 12 and 8 (nearly 9) I do leave them to go for a run in the mornings. But I only do it if they’re awake and aware. I’m gone 30mins max. The 12yo I leave for longer times if I’m running errands but not with the 8yo if it’s a more than 1hr. Oldest has a phone

Is it an option to mark out a running route and do that instead? You’ll be close by and they’ll know when you’ll be back.

zen1 · 09/06/2019 00:19

I wouldn’t leave them asleep, but might do if they were awake and alert.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 09/06/2019 00:20

I definitely wouldn't do this.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 09/06/2019 00:21

Yes I would. I don't think that's too young at all.

TigerDroveAgain · 09/06/2019 00:22

I would. Seems quite reasonable unless you have a house that spontaneously combusts

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