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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put up and shut up with the transphobia on here?

999 replies

thetonsillolith · 08/06/2019 17:18

I am fully supportive of the LGBTQ community and don't feel it is my position to question or undermine those who believe they were born in the wrong body.

And yet i see literally hundreds of intolerant posts on here and say nothing. Probably because I'm worried about being shouted down.

This is part of the problem isn't it? I should speak up.

Does anybody else feel like this or is it just me?

awaits tumbleweed*

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ghostyslovesheets · 08/06/2019 18:35

sex is a protected characteristic - I can't just declare myself black or disabled ffs

also accepting someone with a penis is female screws with data - that then see's a rise in violent crime committed by women, and impacts on women. It makes a mockery of women's sport - it allows men to take over women's spheres and access women's safe spaces - it is NOT transphobic to object to this - jesus read Caroline Criado Perez's book on how data screws women already and imagine how the get out for that would be 'well we tested it on women (with dicks)'

I am the mother to 3 beautiful girls - one of whom is a lesbian - this shit scares me - trans people do not - the agenda does

isabellerossignol · 08/06/2019 18:35

Your anorexia comparison would only work if you think all trans people need help and need to be fixed.....

I do.

Fairenuff · 08/06/2019 18:36

thread after thread characterising trans women as men who are threatening women's spaces is allowed to stand

This is another concept that is widely misunderstood.

Maybe because people don't bother to read the replies.

The overwhelming concern from women is that males could be allowed to access their female only spaces.

This I NOT about transwomen. This is about MALES.

Sorry for shouting but so many people just don't get this.

If we make female spaces unisex, any man (not transwoman) can access them.

Women will not be able to challenge their presence.

This is what we are fighting to protect. We want and need safeguarding, privacy and dignity. Why should we give that up?

*Men are predatory. Men commit sexual and violent assaults. Men prey on women and children. This is a fact and is the reason why we have to sex segregated spaces in the first place. Why should we give them up? Give me one good reason. Anyone?

*Obviously NAMALT

timeforakinderworld · 08/06/2019 18:37

The trans rights movement is NOT the same as gay rights. Gay rights activists do not ask straight people to accept a definition of what it means to be straight. TRAs are demanding women believe that they can change sex and that women are women because the feel like women. This is not based on science and is harmful to women. It is not transphobic to point this out - just a few years ago NO trans women would claim that they are actually female but now it is the norm. This is a huge change and I wish more women would acknowledge it.

isabellerossignol · 08/06/2019 18:38

By which I mean that if being trans makes them feel suicidal, which is what we are always told, then why wouldn't they want to get help for that?

marfisa · 08/06/2019 18:38

I have never met a trans woman who felt that all cis lesbians were mandated to have sex with her Hmm

That's another mad myth

If you're a lesbian who doesn't want to have sex with trans women, cool

If you're a lesbian who does want to have sex with trans women, cool

Anyone who tries to dictate who or shouldn't have sex with them is a prick, metaphorically speaking

If a trans woman says this then she is like Karen White and NOT representative of the vast majority of trans women, who are just trying to find love like the rest of us in this fucking world

sackrifice · 08/06/2019 18:38

What you actually mean is that some trans people learn to accept the genitals they have and decide not risk health complications and the potential loss of sexual function for a medically unnecessary surgery, because tolerance for trans people and a broader understanding of the way gender and biology intersect has enabled them to make peace with keeping the genitals they were born with

By some you mean around 80%

But by all means, you should continue to insist that people have invasive, dangerous and complicated surgery before you will consider them acceptably trans. The joke is on them anyway - there’s nothing they could do to their bodies that would actually satisfy you.

You have it totally the wrong way round.

Men cannot change into women. It is impossible. And they can wear what they want. 'We' don't want anyone to mutilate themselves.

Sheesh don't you get it?

slipperywhensparticus · 08/06/2019 18:39

Just checking in.....

Bluestitch · 08/06/2019 18:39

What you actually mean is that some trans people learn to accept the genitals they have

No, I actually mean that some transwomen like their penises very much, no need to learn to accept them.

marfisa · 08/06/2019 18:39

There is no trans agenda any more than there is a gay agenda or a women's agenda.

Humans want to be treated like humans, that's all.

LimeKiwi · 08/06/2019 18:40

I do

Wow. OK then.
Proving even more so YADBU OP if you just put up and let this shit slide.

JacquesHammer · 08/06/2019 18:40

There is no trans agenda any more than there is a gay agenda or a women's agenda

There is most definitely a hardcore TRA agenda.

Loopytiles · 08/06/2019 18:41

No problem with transwomen having a penis.

Unless they wish to compete against women, work in a refuge employing only women, use women only services and facilities or have sex with people who don’t want to have sex with people with penises. Their wish to do those things is less important than others’ wishes and interests.

sackrifice · 08/06/2019 18:41

If you're a lesbian who doesn't want to have sex with trans women, cool

Not cool, according to Stonewall.

Lesbians who state that they don't do dick; are kicked out - actually dragged out - of PRIDE, by police officers who were [at the same event] having their photos taken with men dressed as BDSM rubber dogs and holding their leads.

slipperywhensparticus · 08/06/2019 18:41

Actually I will say this if you are "trans" and you dont want to have surgery you are a cross dresser not trans that isnt an issue just dont attach yourself and compare yourself to real people who are really trans because that shite really pisses me off

timeforakinderworld · 08/06/2019 18:41

Marfisa- I think this was true years ago. Unfortunately now there definitely is an agenda and it is harmful to women and transmen and transwomen.

sackrifice · 08/06/2019 18:41

There is no trans agenda any more than there is a gay agenda or a women's agenda.

Oh dear.

You need to do some homework.

isabellerossignol · 08/06/2019 18:42

I explained exactly what I meant when I said 'I do'.

We are told that people are desperately unhappy with their feelings of being born in the wrong body. If that's the case why would they not want help to overcome those feelings?

CherryPavlova · 08/06/2019 18:42

I do not have an irrational fear of aversion to transgender people. I absolutely accept they should be able to live as they like free from horrendous attacks. They should not suffer detriment for being who they are.

However, I also do not think that you can currently change your genetic makeup. Men cannot become women, no matter how much they want to. Biological women have as much right to have their needs and preferences protected. If that means transgender women are not admitted to certain places then so be it. Realistically, there is usually a solution - single rooms in hospitals, unisex lavatories with full doors, changing rooms with doors rather than communal changing.

I certainly think where jobs are advertised as requiring a specific sexed worker for GOQ then it should be the biological sex that is the determining factor.

S1naidSucks · 08/06/2019 18:42

How about we treat trans people as we do any other human being and not assume they are guilty until they actually do something wrong?

Like the males who identify as trans and don’t have sex crimes on their records, are permitted to be housed in female jails, then attack the female prisoners? We just let them in, wait for trapped females who can’t get away from them, to be attacked, then punish them. Women, collateral damage, in the fight to give those men who identify as trans more rights. Same old same old.

LimeKiwi · 08/06/2019 18:42

Just checking in

Bizarre comment, do you have a thought on the thread?
Checks sparticus username yes I expect you do?

Fairenuff · 08/06/2019 18:44

If a trans woman says this then she is like Karen White and NOT representative of the vast majority of trans women, who are just trying to find love like the rest of us in this fucking world

You're saying that Rachel McKinnon is like Karen White? Oh, you're brav

ghostyslovesheets · 08/06/2019 18:44

Lesbians who state that they don't do dick; are kicked out - actually dragged out - of PRIDE

why are people either missing or refusing to acknowledge this shit!

women are being dragged into police cells, women are being sacked, women are being silenced and attacked for daring to define themselves

Fairenuff · 08/06/2019 18:45

brave. Sorry I ran away before I finished posting.

DecomposingComposers · 08/06/2019 18:45

Why do you only ever talk about men and trans women?

Why are trans men never included in these discussions?

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