I have been reported to SS

[mooning123]

I have a DS with ASD and LDs. he is 10 but cognitively much younger well.

anyhow, we went out the other day and whilst I was getting something from the house and DS was waiting outside for a minute, a lady living down the street and her 7 yo DD pass by. for whatever reason, DS dropped his trousers to show his bum to them. he has never done anything before.

Said lady is also a HV and when she passed by today and saw me outside told me, she would (or already has) reported us to social services over safeguarding concerns re DS as he mooned at them and I am clearly unable to keep him safe.

DS is very well looked after. But with a child with SN, sometimes, you take your eyes off them for a moment or two (generally speaking, DS is always with an adult).

I am terrified what will now happen? anybody any insight?

Don't know how to quote properly but

'I would be very inclined to contact her employer local trust area to report that she is using her position outside of work in an intimidating way'

Wow! Really strange response in my opinion. I am not a HV but work in a very similar safeguarding role- cannot imagine why you would feel this necessary.

She leaves and breathes safeguarding due to her professional role. She saw your son inappropriately bare a private part of his body in the street- towards her own child too. She feels she needs to check that he is safe. She also had guts to come over and let you know (which was respectful in my opinion).

OP I am sure that you have nothing to worry about at all- SS (if they choose to follow up at all) will quickly establish if your son is safe and well cared for. I totally understand that this feels stressful, but as a HCP and experienced safeguarding lead I would probably have done the same thing as your neighbour.

It is drummed into us to follow our gut, be alert to concerns and follow through as necessary.
Let's not start a witch hunt just yet 🙄.

This could be a positive thing OP. My son had ASD and we had a social worker that helped in all sorts of ways. I was in social housing, and overcrowded, my DS and DD in the same room, and she got on to the council and got us rehoused to a 3 bed. She arranged a mentor for my DS who would come and take him out every week. That went on for years and was great for my DS. She helped out when there were issues with school. My DS mentor ended up being his learning assistant at school. So I would say see this as an opportunity to get the help you need.

OP you clearly do want and need some help - use this as a means of trying to get access to services that will help

purple because the child has a disability any health professionals involved would need to fully take this into consideration when making a child protection referral. What may be a sign of abuse or neglect in a NT child could well be normal for a child with ASD.

I think as a HV she had to report this, however, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Mooning mu first thought was use it as a way to demand an assessment for child with disabilities (thinks its section 17?) and get yourself some respite that's gold dust!

Other than that you can just say "yes it happened, now I'm doing this to stop it happening again".

Everyone's children do inappropriate things at times. It's not that they do it but more the capacity of the parent to recognise and deal with the behaviour.

I won't be reporting the HV. I really have my plate more than full and don't have time for these games.

I think when SS get round to contacting you, they'll talk through how/why it happened, listen to your problems and, if possible, try and offer you a little support with DS.

The SS I've met through work have been nothing but open, kind and diligent. There's never been a moment where they've overstepped the boundary of "what's going on, how can I help?" into anything malicious or judgemental.

I think as hard as it is, take a deep breath, accept that it's happened and work out a way forward; have some notes prepped if you're liable to become tongue tied if they visit, have a friend or relative with you just to act as a 'guide' as to how much support your DS requires and remember that in the big scheme of life, he showed his bottom to a couple of people and SS will not come knocking looking to punish you for that.

She also had guts to come over and let you know (which was respectful in my opinion)

Really Opalescent? I read it as she was angry because her child had seen a bare bottom (the horror!) and was having a go at OP. If so, threatening her and leaving her anxious for the next few days until SS call was very unkind and, yes, overstepping.

The HV saw a snapshot. Without further information she doesn’t know if it’s innocent, or a sign of something more troubling.

She reported her concerns so that they could be checked out. Not b3cause she’s a busybody, but because she is a professional and it is her responsibility. Possibly also, because you know, she actually cares.

I’m sorry this has worried you, but If DS is well looked after and not exposed to inappropriate sexualisation you have nothing to be anxious about.

purple because the child has a disability any health professionals involved would need to fully take this into consideration when making a child protection referral

No. Referrals need to be made on the basis of concern. It’s not the hv’s duty to investigate. That’s the role of SS.

I am sorry for your troubles, OP. My son, with ASD, did similar inappropriate things at that age. If it is any consolation, he stopped completely by age 12 and is now nearly 15 and you wouldn’t know he had a diagnosis. In my opinion that HV is a bitch and a busybody and if SS get pushy you could ask them either to put some respite in place for you or back off, seeing as globally you are managing a difficult situation very well.

FFS can people please stop claiming disability discrimination everytime someone so much looks at a disabled child

They aren't discriminating against him. Law is law. It doesn't discriminate. What it does though is consider extenuating circumstances (diminished responsibility).

My son had genetic neuro disorder and asd. I'd NEVER think that gives him a free pass to do as he pleases and NEVER think anyone who expects him supported where he's a risk alone of being discriminative.

This just demonstrates why so many children with special needs are neglected by professionals in their early years. This HV has shown no clue about ASD when she actually knows the child she will be utterly useless to families with young ones starting to show signs of additional needs that she doesn't know. This is a big problem.

Interested in what people thing ss can offer op. There isn't the money for help or respite. Few families actually get the support they deserve.

Most likely out come for op will be left to it to carry on and figure her own way forward.

I wasn’t trying to freak you out at all, OP. This is the first time he has done this and you are obviously a caring and engaged parent. The only point to make here is that the HV didn’t know that, so she was legally obliged to report a concern. This could lead to you receiving more support.

Tolleshunt- I suppose it could have happened in the way that you read it- or the way that I did....or indeed neither interpretation could be correct.

Neither of us were there after all.

But based on the facts given in the OP, I would have been inclined to do the same as the neighbour. We have no reason to suspect that it was done for any other reason than genuine concern.

They may well be more context to this anyway.

Don't you already have ss children with disabilities team involved? What help do you get? Does he have echp? Ask school for advice on what happens when he gets older and does this.
Speak to the duty worker.
Ask for behavioural support to work on private/public spaces. You may need help to work on this as he gets into puberty.
(D's with asd sl d who had phases of inappropriate behaviour)

I think you're getting it wrong. There's no statutory to report mooning. If the hv had a genuine concern and was not just on a power trip she would have taken account of all the available evidence before making that referral. Including checking whether the the child had any diagnosis that might explain the behaviour. I have safeguarding training and the advice is certainly not 'report everything'. It's 'use your common sense'.

duty

Really Opalescent? I read it as she was angry because her child had seen a bare bottom (the horror!) and was having a go at OP. If so, threatening her and leaving her anxious for the next few days until SS call was very unkind and, yes, overstepping.

neither. she implied that I should never take a second my eyes off DS and suggested I that it all happened because I failed as a parent because I went back into the house to get my phone which I had forgotten. Her concern was DS and his wellbeing, not her DD seeing a bottom.

I don't understand this country. One cannot access respite, no wrap around and school holiday childcare for children with SN, no help and support for parents and of you dare to take your eyes off for one moment because, then you are painted as an unfit parent and grassed up to SS . that's how it feels to me right now.

That won’t hit threshold for intervention, don’t worry OP!

If she knows him, then it does seem an over reaction to report this, but yes it may help you to access some support. It seems to back up what you say you have previously told them. SS are there to help you, so if they do get it touch, explain to them how hard things are, and ask for more help. Unfortunately given the amount of funding available, you will probably never hear from them again, but you never know.

It's her professional duty' really!

A professional health visitor would want to ensure her patients are reassured, supported and receive advice to help them. Health visitor are there to for many reasons but what the heath visitor has done it not professional she has left op worried, unsure, possible scared and this will impact on the family. She had left op hanging so to speak and vulnerable. That is wrong.
*
Those pp stating that even off duty she should be a professional* ok let's unpick this

So all the following professionals should make sure that they complete their duty outside of the work place is that right

• drs should stop any passer by to point out their skin issues or walking strange to help diagnose medical issues
• a street cleaner should pick up rubbish dropped on their time off and out with family/ friends in order to remain professional

I could go on m, how stupid

Sounds like an impossible task mooning. If SS do contact you, I would be tempted to ask them what you are meant to do, given the situation you outlined. Put it back on them. You sound like an amazing parent, and I'm sure they'll see that.

It quite possibly is a chance to get some decent respite. You'd have to let them know you weren't coping, though, which might be a hard thing to say. I don't think there's any chance they're going to do anything statutory here, though, so don't worry x