To not offer my bedroom to guests?

[Tigger0902]

Hi all,
I’m a newbie first of all so hello!
My OH moved into my apartment around 7 months ago. He has some close friends who we go out to dinner etc with and we stay at their house sometimes. They have a 3 bed house, I have a 2 bed flat. They stayed at mine a little over a year ago and I set them up in the spare room. I should add it’s a double room, I have a day bed and trundle in there so plenty of space.
On Tuesday I got a text from my OH saying he had invited them over this weekend and asked if we should offer our room. I replied and said NO to which he said “I already have”. I’ve made it clear I’m not happy about a) him doing this without talking to me about it and b) other people sleeping in my room or my bed.

Am I being unreasonable? I bought a 2 bed so I could have guests stay....in the spare room! And to make things worse, they’re not even the type to say “are you sure you don’t us staying in your room?”

saraclara
I've been given friends bedroom many times, I personally never found it remotely uncomfortable. It's just a nice thing to do, and it's quite common when people don't have a guest room - or when they do but it's already in use!

It's perfectly normal to give the best bedroom to guests.

Last time I let someone sleep in my bed they were sick on the carpet and it stank for ages. Don’t do it.

Well done.

This has just reminded me of an incident several years ago when a couple of former neighbours who had moved hundreds of miles away and who we kept irregular contact with , contacted us to say they would be in the area for a funeral and it would be lovely to catch up and could they stay the night . I said yes that would be fine although we were doing some work in the house so there might be some mess.
Anyway , we had done up the spare bedroom so put them there . We had a pleasant evening and breakfast before they set off. I received an email later saying it had been nice to catch up but they were both “ shocked “ that I had given them a room with twin beds rather than a double !
We no longer stay in touch .

I've also given guests my bedroom once but that was because we had loads of guests staying (it was over christmas) so the guest room and the playroom with sofa bed was taken. For various reasons the sitting room wasn't an option so DH and I each went in with one of the DC's and the Sil, Bil and their DC all slept in our room. If there was a guest room free it would be weird though.

Just show them the spare room when they arrive, they will appreciate it. Why would they be comfortable using your bedroom when there is a perfectly suitable spare room?

She does sound very odd- why on earth did that discussion come up

Tigger0902 I am over the bloody moon at your response to her! The main bedroom? It's my room you CF! Can't wait to hear how the rest of the evening went!!

You all sound odd

Ha, perfect response, OP, well done! Why on Earth she thought you’d be giving up your room is just beyond me!

This is just so bizarre! Well done OP!

Ha ha! Brilliant response.

(I did once let a friend have my room - but she'd come all the way from the US to visit for a special birthday of mine, and it seemed only fair to let her sleep off her jet lag somewhere comfy - but entitled fuckers from just up the road... no way.)

It might be different if someone has a one bedroom flat and has invited a friend to stay over. But if you have a spare room, as I do, why on earth would I have friends stay in my bedroom and I stay in my own spare room (which is perfectly nice by the way? Weird

Brilliant - just make sure they don't go to bed first, otherwise you might find that one of them has 'had too much to drink' and 'wandered into the wrong bedroom' and is now 'unconscious', prompting the other to say 'oh dear, we'd better sleep in here after all'.

I think they will be mortally offended to be relegated to the guest bedroom (?!) and hopefully won't want to stay again.

Good response but weird she insisted it was supposed to be the main bedroom.

Wonder if she didn’t like the spare bedroom last time and was promised an “upgrade” to agree to stay 🤔

Well done OP.

More updates when you can please!

you did the right thing . It is weird . I would never give up my room when I had a spare room .

Well done you. Cheeky sods. I would be so grateful to have a bed for the weekend.
I did have a very funny mental picture of you wiping out the air mattress. That's so funny.
I'm glad you have character and not allow people to take the piss.

What a weird person! Good job on not backing down!

I can't imagine someone expecting a host to give up his/her own room (unless for the sake of an elderly, unwell, etc. close relative). If the spare room's not to their liking, they can find somewhere else to sleep! Maybe if she dislikes the spare room that much, they won't want to stay over again, which from the sounds of it won't be any great tragedy.

These 'friends' seem to have at the least an unhealthy relationship with your dp, at worst some kind of hold over him. He needs to wise up to them and you definitely seem the dude for the gig to help him - stay strong with these cheeky fuckers! Rude!

Good on you OP, you handled that perfectly! Can't believe she actually tried to argue the case though, what a cf! Good point made by a pp to make sure they end up going into the right room though!

they’ve given him a room in their house
What does this mean? That he’s stayed over and not bedded down in the hall?

Brilliant
Well done
Perfect

Bravo to you! Well played! WTF kind of cheek has that silly bam 'the main bedroom'. How wanky! Even if I were offered the hosts' bedroom I wouldn't take it. Hope they fuck off soon and don't visit again. I'd tell him he pulls a stunt like this and he can stay on their spare floor space for good.

Bet you anything they’d complained about your spare room to your oh!!