Anti porn

[Fakenametodayhey]

Prompted by another thread.
What are opinions on partners watching porn or watching porn yourself?
Seen a few comments where women are upset by husbands watching porn. Do you think its akin to cheating? Very interested

I changed my views on porn as I became more and more feminist. So I dislike it for the same reasons as most here. But I also dislike the idea of 'feminist porn' (just amateur porn really) on platforms like Bright desire as I think, at least traditional mainstream porn features actors and actresses therefore isn't really relatable to anyone in 'real life'. Seeing real couples doing the same stuff in feminist porn will just put pressure on other women to be filmed by their partners. They might see it and think, 'they are normal with 'normal' bodies, so am I...is this what we should be doing then?' Or men will use the same thought process to add pressure. It just leads to porn, or having sex on film, being much more normalised imo.

“fighting to remove the patriarchal system that makes women think they're happily "deciding" on their own to show off their bodies for male gratification?”
I don’t think “showing off their bodies” is what most women in the porn industry are thinking about.

I don’t think “showing off their bodies” is what most women in the porn industry are thinking about

Somebody else made the same reply and I didn't really get that one either. Obviously I was simplifying things but the point remains the same. Many women in the porn industry believe they are there of their own free choice.

@Sagradafamiliar - I agree with that. I would also never watch ‘amateur’ porn as how can you be sure the woman consented? A search on mumsnet will reveal women who have found out their husbands are filming/photographing them, never mind a wider search. How do you know it’s consented to, to be shared and not ‘revenge porn’. Just some of the issues in that category!

Sagradafamilia - that is very true. Good point.

“Can you define "humiliating women"?”

Do I need to?

I forget the stats but it’s a huge number of women who have a history of childhood sexual abuse.

They’re regularly treated for injury to their mouths and genitals etc. They’re overworked and underpaid - if you can put a price on it. And commonly pressured to go much further than they want to.

I’d say that’s pretty humiliating. At best.

@blushmelikeyou I agree with you

Of course some porn masquerades as gentle and is often only the veiled portrayal of deflowering girls and teens or preteens. These films usually emulate grooming techniques - referring to the women/ girls as pure and virginial usually shy. (But of course once they’ve had sex/ been coerced, they’re gagging for it. They’re whores etc.) There’s a very real and intentional script and agenda behind the multi-billion industry and it’s anything but harmless.

To anyone who is interested, a few videos of pornstars on why they quit porn:

- Veronica Vain (The part where she is discussing having to work with girls who dropped out of high school to do porn was heartbreaking minute 19:50 minutes onwards) - Jessie Rogers - This one is has disturbing scenes in it.

There are a lot more videos/interviews and documentaries like this.

1st link is incorrect, sorry.

- Veronica Vain (The part where she is discussing having to work with girls who dropped out of high school to do porn was heartbreaking minute 19:50 minutes onwards)

@motherheroic

I was just going to link that very same youtube video from Veronica Vain but you beat me to it.

The documentary that she is referring to at the start of the video is a 2015 film called "Hot Girls Wanted" which is currently on Netflix and worth watching.

Veronica Vain (her youtube channel is called RedheadRedemption) has also done some other videos on her channel that are worth watching as well.

Oops, I got mixed up. I was actually about to link to THIS video from Veronica Vain where she talks about the documentary "Hot Girls Wanted" but she also mentions about working with 18 year olds who are still in high school.

That's why I got mixed up with motherheroic's video. This one is also worth watching:-

Just letting you all know that i am a female and i dont think of porn as real life- just as i dont think of tv as real life.
"i dont see the girls as real people
I meant i see them as actors- playing a part

I think because we all see sex as this sacred thing we confuse porn with real life sex. It isnt.

And to everyone who said "you dont need porn to masturbate"- the thread is about porn. Not masturbating

But my dp masturbating to a mental picture of the sexy girl across the road would piss me off whereas him jacking off to a random girl who i dont know wouldnt.

The ethical dilema actually is really grinding my gears. Women and men not watching porn because its unethical is laughable.

I bet you all still use fast fashion chains such as h and m and primark- treat and trap workers badly. Please watch a doc on fast fashion not on porn if you wanna make a dofference.

Also i bet you still eat beef? Or eggs from caged hens. Not unethical either.

Maybe you still buy your food shipped from half way across the world- destroying the lives of people and animals because of deforrestation and carbon emmisions.

Still eat fish? Caught in nets by the thousands. Said nets polluting the ooceans and killing crwatures youve never even rhought of?

But you draw the line at porn?

Before you bring ethics into it. Please remember every decision you make as a consumer is unethical. It impacts someone somewhere along the line. You arent a saint because youre not interested in porn. I doubt many of you who claim you dont watch it because its bad actually want to watch it too much anyway.

And why are women dehumanised? What about title such as 'gorgeous redhed plays with big black cock'
Is that only offensive to women? Or is it offensive to men aswell?

The hard truth is that people arent watching people having sex. They are watching bodies have sex. They arent interested in how the girl is a mother or sister. Or how the man is a father or brother. They are watching bodies work with one another to do.... what theyre supposed to.

And thank you everyone for forgetting that gay porn even exists. Its not all choking and bondage. Its mostly young men and women in peak physical condition being physical. And it is real. How is it not real sex? Just because you arent a size 2 with abs and perfect skin doesnt mean its unrealistic. Work on your body and you too can have sexy sex! :-O

Brothels and strip clubs have been around for ages. Most adverts and tv is sexualized. What is wrong with porn.

And speaking of being pushed into doing something you dont wanna do? Look at the leaving midwifery thread. Is that much different

Not naive enough to think DP never watches it, we had a baby seven months ago and I haven’t been overly interested in sex since he was born. I suspect he does it at some point, no idea when but I think it will happen. Not saying we never have sex fwiw but we used to have it daily, now down to 2-3 times a week which is a huge dip.

I try not to think about it too much, we had arguments about it shortly after meeting when he confessed he watched it every day. I felt insecure about it.

@pinkvoid 2 or 3 times a week after baby is loads of sex! You are one of the lucky ones!

If a man I met told me he watched porn daily when we first met, I wouldn’t be having a baby with him. If it doesn’t bother you, knock yourself out, but it would bother me and I’m not with someone who likes it.

Ps i meant technically it is sex - just because the people are fit and good looking doesnt make it fake/ unrealistic.

And when i said that it isnt real i meant it is staged. Well the big company ones tend to be staged.
You can tell- they have wierd music and dialogue.

Oh I see - you weren't interested in our opinions, you just wanted to give us a lecture.

OP, if you want to watch porn, go right ahead. But don't delude yourself into thinking that what you're watching is real sex, that women aren't hurt and exploited and damaged by the industry, that it isn't changing the way young people look at sex and not for the better. It is not a good thing for the world and surely even those who do enjoy it can admit that.

just because you arent a size 2 with abs and perfect skin doesnt mean its unrealistic. Work on your body and you too can have sexy sex! :-O

What a stupid comment!

I doubt many of you who claim you dont watch it because its bad actually want to watch it too much anyway.

Another pathetic comment.

As for the ethics. I do what I can. I need to eat and I need to wear clothes. I do not need to exploit women to have an orgasm.

The hard truth is that people arent watching people having sex. They are watching bodies have sex. They arent interested in how the girl is a mother or sister. Or how the man is a father or brother.

You think we don't know that? That is half of the problem.

I think you are trying a little bit too hard to convince yourself it is all OK, maybe to justify your husband's porn habits? or your own? It's much easier to ignore the reasons why people are anti-porn then actually think about what it really is you are getting your sexual kicks from.

Ah. Weren't interested in opinions at all were you.

For the record I am a vegan who avoids fast fashion. Dog still eats gets raw meat though, why should he suffer.

There is still far too much Victorian moralising and pearl-clutching about porn. It’s just sex

Oh dear

Thinking about it, what kind of response did we expect from someone who said:

'To be fair ive never thought of the girls as people before.'

Porn categorically ruined my marriage