The problem I have with porn is that it’s crap. 99% of it is unattractive people in some grotty room or setting. Cringe-inducing “plots” and they just look stupid.
Porn has introduced some fairly unpleasant practises into the “mainstream” - eg. choking, facials, anal, face slapping, forced bjs etc.
99% of it is not about sex. It’s about the humiliation of women.
This obviously has a massive impact on society.
My DH is very respectful of women in general life. I would have said he was one of the decent men, the “good ones”, however he’s told me he watches porn. He won’t say how often. He said something about only watching the lesbian stuff and nothing with men in it. He said all men watch it to masturbate. It hasn’t affected our sex life and I guess I’ve had to just accept it, although when I actually think about it, it’s depressing. There is no way you can only view “ethical porn” because the videos are playing on loop as soon as you navigate the site. It’s also the vile misogynistic captions I object to.
After DH told me he watches porn I went and had a look on the sites. For anyone who has ever been sexually abused in any way, there will be something very triggering within a few clicks. Once you get beyond the initial horror, you become almost numbed to it and my main reaction now is to be bored by how seedy and pathetic it is.
I do wish the porn “actresses” and the people who make these degrading videos wouid stop and think about the millions of women who, st any given moment, are being abused in similar ways in real life. They are glamorising and normalising abuse.
If there were free websites which contained racist any other derogatory captions eg racist and / or degrading imagery against any other sector of society, there wouid be outrage and the sites wouid be banned. Yet, because it’s only women that are the focus of degradation, the porn industry is allowed to flourish.