Anti porn

[Fakenametodayhey]

Prompted by another thread.
What are opinions on partners watching porn or watching porn yourself?
Seen a few comments where women are upset by husbands watching porn. Do you think its akin to cheating? Very interested

In theory I quite like the idea of watching consenting adults enjoying themselves in a mutually pleasurable way. And if any porn like that actually exists then please let me know.

I'm quite glad to be wired in such a way that any hint of exploitation or another human being suffering is a complete turn off. Shame the men who perpetuate the sexual exploitation of women and children don't feel likewise.

This a depressing read - the number of women who don't seem to give a shit about the physical abuse and humiliation of other women! ☹️

God that first paragraph resonates with me whatshername7.
I hate porn; in my bitter experience it leads to more and more extreme porn to achieve the desired effect, kills romance and destroys love and respect. It reduces women to wank fodder, and wrecks some marriages. The final straw was being told it was all my fault he watched it.

Do I think it’s like cheating? Not especially, but it’s hardly respectful.

I do however think that easy access to large quantities of hardcore porn is incredibly damaging and responsible for the increasingly vocal misogyny in society.

I’ve posted often before about having been in abusive relationships with heavy porn users and the research I’ve done since. It’s extremely disturbing stuff and I fear for young people growing up now.

Mastirbation is not cheating but, funnily enough, you don’t need to watch porn to masturbate! Some men don’t seem to realise this as its so pervasive at this point.

This a depressing read - the number of women who don't seem to give a shit about the physical abuse and humiliation of other women!

Yes indeed. It's grim.

“Whenever anyone says that to me I just know I’m going to be asked to lower my ethical standards.”

You couldn’t engage with anything else I said. Your ethical standard are your own. Other peoples are different and you aren’t in charge.

“Please point to a single poster who has objected to porn on the grounds of prudishness.”

No. I do believe that sits behind a lot of it though. The idea that all porn is bad and unethical can only come from prudishness and repression.

@StreetwiseHercules As someone who consumed porn from my teens into my twenties it is absolutely nothing to do with being 'prude' or 'repressed'.

I love a bit of porn. As does my DH. I really don't see the big deal.

But. I'd like to, if it is really morally so wrong I feel like I do need to educate myself. Does anyone have any links to help?

I get there's really terrifying porn out there. Like snuff films etc. But I genuinely didn't see anything wrong with mainstream porn.

“The idea that all porn is bad and unethical can only come from prudishness and repression.”

There is some ethical porn. But it is not free. And with the vast majority of the porn people watch it is impossible to know whether it is ethical or not. So anyone with any standards would not watch it. The thought that they might well be watching a vulnerable woman being raped would stop them.

StreetwiseHercules great post. Good to read a different point of view.

Bright Desire is free and ethical.

Yet, because it’s only women that are the focus of degradation, the porn industry is allowed to flourish

Absolutely correct.

I don't see porn as cheating, but I do see it as the objectification of women, and basically portraying women as nothing but a hole for a man to stick his cock.

If my husband got off on that, well, he wouldn't be my husband.

I highly doubt it is a choice for a lot of these women and dread to think of how they ended up in that life.

These are sisters, mothers, daughters, neices.

If you wouldn't be happy for your wife or daughter or sister getting violently fucked every which way by however many men, for the sole purpose of a a strangers sexual gratification, then why are you happy to get your rocks off to watching these women getting shagged up the arse or whatever?

These are not a sub-species of women born to fulfil this role. More than likely they have been damaged - by men - somewhere in their lives before ending up in this 'job'.

I highly doubt it is a choice for a lot of these women and dread to think of how they ended up in that life

Coercion, manipulation and abuse by men.

@SushiTime I would argue that mainstream porn is the issue. The majority of it is full of choking, rough anal, slapping etc. And since it's mainstream THAT is what is seen as the norm.

If you have Netflix I suggest watching 'Hot Girls Wanted' to begin with.

Sorry PositiveVibez - for some reason didn’t have the full ending to your post and I see you addressed that.

@motherheroic hmmm...see I'm kind of into that 🤦🏻‍♀️ I promise I'm quite normal though.

I'll watch that tonight I think. Really want to understand it better as it's got me thinking. I read a book not so long ago about a girl trafficked to Amsterdam and it's was shocking. A true story too.

“The idea that all porn is bad and unethical can only come from prudishness and repression.”

Er no. Porn can be extremely triggering for anyone who may have been forced into sexually abusive situations in real life. These people are not repressed or prudish. It’s not “entertainment” for them, it was real.

Even if a miniscule percentage of porn is not about humiliation if women, so what? That doesn’t change the fact that 99% of the industry is.

Imagine if there were sites portraying any other sector or group of society being routinely choked, slapped, raped, made to crawl about, spat on, ejeculated on, etc etc. Just visualise any other group in these videos and consider the reaction. Replace the misogynistic terminology in the captions with equally offensive racist terminology. People would be prosecuted. But we’re conditioned to accept it when it’s women.

Doesn't it all come down to that age-old argument of whether being a feminist means supporting a woman's right to show off her body for male gratification if she so chooses vs. fighting to remove the patriarchal system that makes women think they're happily "deciding" on their own to show off their bodies for male gratification?

Sushi look at the accounts on the Fight The New Drug website.

Read the Your Brain On Porn website.

Watch this documentary , if you can find it
www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/reviews/tv-review-date-my-porn-star-channel-4-8895177.html

Louis Theroux’s Twilight Of The Porn Stars on Netflix (and the first Porn documentary he did as part of Weird Weekends)

Even if you personally like that, can you see that it’s not something many women might want to do, and that normalising it isn’t ideal? Are you not concerned about whether the women you’re watching are really able to consent to this or are coerced, on drugs, etc etc? How can you tell?

@SushiTime But were you into these things before watching porn? These are the kind of questions people don't bother to ask themselves.

I can admit that there are some things I've watched that have shaped my sexual interests, which I'm not happy about. Wish I had the chance to develop my sexual interests independent of porn.

Yeah, give it a watch. I could only watch it the once. Can not bring myself to watch it again.

woman's right to show off her body for male gratification if she so chooses

I don’t think it’s the showing off of women’s bodies that is the main concern here...

I didn’t have an issue relationship but my ex felt like it was cheating. I’m anti porn though so I felt the same way regardless of whether we were together or not. I don’t have a problem with fully consenting porn where women won’t end up physically or mentally hurt but you never know online who is consenting and who isn’t, combined with that person may of consented at the time and no longer wants the material out there yet has no control over it

Ethical porn is a positive move. However, porn addiction still harms relationships (see my previous post) and there is always the risk of addiction whether the porn is ethical or not. I quickly looked through Bright Desire site out of curiosity and it is admittedly refreshing to see normal people. But, couples need to be on the same page. Porn is a fantasy, but not one every one shares. If your partner watches even the ethical stuff and really enjoys watching anal, but the other partner doesnt find that appealing at all, it can lead to one person feeling like they are missing out and the other potentially feeling pressured. The more porn that you watch, the less you rely on your imagination and the harder it becomes to find something that excites you. I've been through couples therapy with my dh who had an addiction to porn. It did affect our sex life, quite significantly. Which is why im anti porn generally. Nothing to do with prudishness. In the real world, there isnt much in terms of sex that I haven't explored tbh.

Even if a miniscule percentage of porn is not about humiliation if women, so what? That doesn’t change the fact that 99% of the industry is

Can you define "humiliating women"?