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Original poster

Anti porn

168 replies

Fakenametodayhey · 07/06/2019 15:29

Prompted by another thread.
What are opinions on partners watching porn or watching porn yourself?
Seen a few comments where women are upset by husbands watching porn. Do you think its akin to cheating? Very interested

OP posts:
Jsmith99 · 07/06/2019 16:25

I don’t have a problem with porn. I watch it myself sometimes, and I’m sure DP does too. There is still far too much Victorian moralising and pearl-clutching about porn. It’s just sex.

redspider1 · 07/06/2019 16:27

I dislike the easy access, the unrealistic bodies, bleached anus, bald vaginas and anything remotely violent.

motherheroic · 07/06/2019 16:28

@Bluestitch Apologies!

TheAngryLlama · 07/06/2019 16:28

We have pearl clutching ... one down.
“Hysteria” will be along in a minute I’m sure, along with it’s mates “prudishness” and “jealousy”.
Maybe it’s watching all that porn that rots some people’s brains and deprives them of the capacity for original thought? Someone should look into it

Firstimpressionsofearth · 07/06/2019 16:29

My dh doesn't watch porn and hasn't since he was teen I don't think. I don't think it's cheating. I wouldn't be jealous.

But I think a mature adult should understand that it's an industry damaging to women. Both the women that work in porn and women as a whole. So I would be upset if he watched it more because it means he's too immature to understand why porn is wrong, or he just doesn't care. Neither the type of man I want to be married too or raiding my daughter with.

motherheroic · 07/06/2019 16:31

@TheAngryLlama Something about needing therapy might pop up later.

BurpingFrog · 07/06/2019 16:33

@Nickpan "do you think masturbation is akin to cheating?"
there are plenty of people who do not think porn is in any way a requirement for masturbation!

I would have zero issue with a partner masturbating and think more needs to be done to normalise this for both men and women.

I would have a big problem with a partner watching porn. This is primarily because of the inherent commodification, objectification and exploitation of women.

Whether it is like cheating or not depends on what an individual's red lines are. I think it's understandable when people feel that it is a form of cheating, even if I wouldn't necessarily agree.

faelavie · 07/06/2019 16:34

I have no issue with it. I don't consider it cheating.
DH watches it, though he prefers more amateur stuff. I watch it too. Both of us have a healthy sex life with no unrealistic expectations of eachother.

There's loads more amateur porn on the Internet now, e.g. Masturbation videos, videos that partners make together etc.
Professionally porn doesn't attract us much, I find it pretty boring.

Porn is absolutely a spectrum, it's not all mysogynist directors exploiting women.

cheeseislife8 · 07/06/2019 16:40

I personally dislike it, I don't watch it and don't like DH watching it either. The whole premise bothers me and I don't want it in the house.

WreckingIt · 07/06/2019 16:42

I watch it and have a great time 'flying solo' occasionally.
I also have a great sex life with Husband.
I don't think he watches it much, but he also likes to 'fly solo' occasionally.
I have no issues with it.

IceQueenCometh · 07/06/2019 16:43

Not my cup of tea but I don't think it would be right to dictate to your DP. Unless it's out of hand of course. Like my ex, who used to sit up all night looking at it and got a load of viruses on the PC such that our DS ended up seeing porn whenever he used the PC. ex was completely addicted and it was very grim. I found loads of mags all over the house when I finally kicked him out. Grim.

SweetPetrichor · 07/06/2019 16:47

We both watch porn, we compare and share things we find, we laugh about each other's tastes, and it has no impact on our relationship. We've been together approaching 12 years now and we've been open about porn right from the start. It's just such a non-issue I can't see why it bothers people so much.

Knitclubchatter · 07/06/2019 16:55

Porn is unrealistic and unhealthy.
It’s not what sex/making love is like at all.
It’s not what real couples look like in life or romping around.

wheresmymojo · 07/06/2019 17:08

I don't think it's akin to cheating but I wouldn't like it.

I actually used to watch porn myself - then I learned more about the industry and became a feminist and I couldn't watch it now. The fact that many women in the sex industry have a history of abuse and/or are vulnerable in other ways, contributing to the objectification of women and pornification of sex....now it just feels ick.

My DH knows my views...I wouldn't go mad about it as I feel that would be hypocritical given my own previous history of using, I wouldn't tell him he had to stop but I wouldn't like it.

SimonJT · 07/06/2019 17:09

I watch porn, I have also watched porn with all my partners, it isn’t something I have a huge issue with.

To me porn is like most things, fine on moderation.

CoffeeMilkNoSugar · 07/06/2019 17:16

Sad stuff for pathetic losers who wouldn't know what good sex is - that's what porn is.

wheresmymojo · 07/06/2019 17:17

Actually...saying I wouldn't go mad.

It depends what kind of porn - anything like incest, 'teen' or violence would probably be a dealbreaker for me.

I realise the 'teens' in porn are over 18 and just dressed/made to look younger but there's something seriously wrong with that being something you seek out IMO. Basically I feel like it's for men who would look at real teens but who don't want to be caught by the police.

JacquesHammer · 07/06/2019 17:20

I would have zero issue with a partner masturbating and think more needs to be done to normalise this for both men and women

I would have a big problem with a partner watching porn. This is primarily because of the inherent commodification, objectification and exploitation of women

It's just such a non-issue I can't see why it bothers people so much

Because I'm uncomfortable with anything that propagates the commodification and exploitation of women.

IntoValhalla · 07/06/2019 17:23

As long as my DH and I are having a healthy amount of mutually enjoyable sex, then I have zero issue with either of us watching porn or masturbating.
If porn and masturbation were being used as a substitute for real sex with me, then I’d have a problem.

NoBaggyPants · 07/06/2019 17:25

I don't have a problem with it. I have worked in the industry (in a non acting capacity) and still know men and women adult actors. There is some exploitation in the industry, sadly there is in most walks of life now, but the majority of people are doing it by choice and not for whatever bollocks reason someone with an axe to grind is trotting out this week.

motherheroic · 07/06/2019 17:31

Hmm. What I'm getting from this thread is that most of you don't know how to masturbate without the use of porn.

isabellerossignol · 07/06/2019 17:31

It's not prudishness that puts me off it, it is the cruelty and exploitation of the industry, and the violence involved in it.

It is hugely naive to think that it is harmless when there is so much evidence of eg teenage girls being made to feel that choking, anal and the like are normal activities and that they are prudish if they refuse to take part.

redspider1 · 07/06/2019 17:32

People can watch tasteful porn, people can masturbate with or without and have a great sex life and relationship with their partner. Who knew???

SallyWD · 07/06/2019 17:32

I don't mind my partner watching it and I watch it occasionally. For me it's only a problem if they were watching it excessively and becoming addicted. I think my husband only watches it a couple of times a month, and I'm the same.

TheAngryLlama · 07/06/2019 17:33

You can see the commercial win here can’t you ... create a generation of people so addled they can’t manage sexually without your product.
Not a tempting prospect.