To consider NOT breastfeeding dc4 when I've breastfed the others?

[Fairyboost]

Currently expecting my 4th child. I breastfed my first for 6 weeks, and then breastfed the other 2 for over 2 years each, and have only recently finished weaning the youngest. Dc2 and 3 never really took a bottle of expressed milk so even though it was handy to not have to sterilise etc, it was a pain to not be able to go anywhere with out them while they were babies. Also, DH and I couldn't have a night out for so long.

I'm considering not breastfeeding when the new baby arrives. Mainly because I am planning on doing a course soon after the baby arrives which will mean that DH will have the baby for 1.5 days each week. But also because I'm worn out from 5 years of it and need some bodily independence. Also, saggy leaky norks, lack of estrogen (and resulting dryness 🙈), hormonal fluctuations, baby not settling for dh.

I know it's my choice, and I don't really care what anyone else thinks. But part of me feels a bit guilty because I fed the older kids, and I fear that the new baby will somehow miss out if I bottle feed (which I know is ridiculous).

Ianbu am I?

It's absolutely your choice.

My concern would be if your new baby was entirely FF and say he or she developed asthma ear infections eczema etc will you always wonder if it would be less severe if they were breastfed.

Fed is best and I'm not being goady but those are three conditions that are proven to be protected by breastfeeding.

YANBU in that it's entirely up to you how you feed your child, and I understand your reasoning. However for DC4s sake (immunity etc) could you do the first few weeks and then switch to formula or consider mixed feeding? If you mixed feed from the word go DC will be fine with bottles.

If it’s what you want to do it’s your choice no one can say if it’s right or wrong. Sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t fit into some family lifestyles and that’s ok. I breastfed my first for 18 months, I was a sahm and it worked out well, but when I had my second I had to go back to work so only managed breastfeeding for 2 months, I felt terrible and often wondered if I should have carried on so I understand the guilt feeling. Could you do it for the first week or so just to avoid that guilt? Then slowly swap over to bottle. See how you feel when the baby arrives and don’t put pressure on yourself.

Another breastfeeding thread.

I’ve had a lot of conversations with women lately, from a militant lactivist I realise now I need to distance myself from to good friends who want the best for their kids and beat themselves up over the fact their milk “isn’t enough”.

The pressure to breastfeed is so big it’s taken on a life of its own and we’re losing sight of the big picture. A mother’s mental and physical wellbeing is highly important and if BF is contributing to a decline in either no one should judge if they decide to stop. Women’s empowerment is about choices. Moreover, it’s about women supporting women to choose what’s right for them, not adding to the pressure. Only the woman in question knows what’s right for herself. YANBU.

Thanks must. Ironically, dc2 who was breastfed until 2 had (and still has, but not as bad) terrible eczema. Also cmpa, which was a pain in the arse as I had to go dairy free for a long time. And dc3 seems prone to ear infections despite breastfeeding.

On the whole, they are fairly healthy kids but I worry that the new baby will lack the immunity that breastfeeding gives.

Hated BF unbelievably painful. Did 3 weeks with DC1 and 5 weeks with DC2 but some of that was just morning and evening. Quite liked 2x day and my body and boobs coped fine.

Well I guess the evidence suggests that but my middle child was very allergic to my breast milk so not always the case.

I have been considering the same thing. I'm pregnant with my fourth. I would like to breastfeed but I will be studying and going back to work very early. I find it difficult to express milk and bottle feeding would mean I have more time with my older children.

I am now considering breastfeeding fully for the first 6-8 weeks then trying to combination feed. Providing this child doesn't have multiple severe allergies.

I would prefer to completely breastfeed again but I do think everything else has to be considered. Although who knows if I will stick to this when the baby is here.

I worry that the new baby will lack the immunity that breastfeeding gives.

My understanding is that there is some temporary immunity passed in through BF that helps protect the baby, but it lasts a couple of weeks, not as long as you BF. Good hand hygiene, keeping baby away from those with colds and flu, etc. is just as important.

Well you asked for opinions so here’s an unpopular one. I think if I wanted bodily independence that badly I probably wouldn’t be going for a fourth child. If I decided to have another, it would be with a willingness to care for them in the best way for that baby, as I had for their siblings. That would mean bf for me (or at least trying - barring any major issues with the baby, it’s something you know you can do successfully). I’d mix feed at the very least. I

Breastfeeding didn't work for either of mine. I expressed for the first few months and then formula as I wasn't producing enough milk. My girls are by far the healthiest amongst our friends in terms of snotty noses and colds, they just don't catch anything. So don't let that worry you. Do what is best for you and your family x

I’ve just had my third this Wednesday, emergency c-section so I’m struggling a little. I’ve decided and I’m very happy with BF for the morn and night feed and then doing a mix of whatever I feel for the rest, currently offering boob first which he stays on for a little then a formula top up. I’m quite liking it so far. I exclusively FF the older two x

Why doesn’t this baby get the best milk available but the others did? I think it’s a bit off not breast feeding this one at least for a while.

You decided to have a 4th child so if you wanted to do a course etc and have your body to yourself then now probably wasn’t the time to have a 4th baby.

I breastfed my son and wish I hadn't. I didn't enjoy it and breastfed for over a year out of guilt and feeling like it was the right thing. Whether you breastfeed or not your baby will be fine! They might get a few more colds but I'm sure it's worth it for your mental and physical health in the long term. Don't be guilted into it and congratulations

It’s completely up to you of course but I would personally BF even if you stop after a week or so. The benefits of colostrum in particular are huge.

@EmiliaAirheart This is one of the militant lactivist’s arguments. Yet she’s quite happy to drink while pregnant so tends to pick and choose a bit when it comes to the lengths she’ll go to when sharing her body.

I'm surprised that so many of you managed to mix feed successfully! Has it worked out ok? It's always been drummed into me by our local lactation consultants that mixed feeding never works out. Does the baby/your boobs not get confused?? I remember trying to mix feed dc1 towards the end of the 6 weeks and he would take one type of milk but not the other, so I just gave up and switched to FF.

I agree with pp who said that there's a huge uneccessary pressure on women to bf nowadays, and so much guilt associated with it

Congrats on your baby Bbang

Oh my goodness to the posters saying I decided to have a 4th child, you know nothing about my circumstances or situation FFS!

I have a 7 month old who had occasional expressed bottles 3-16 weeks and since then has had a bottle of formula a day. As long as you feed enough to establish supply and don't wait too long to give a bottle (6 weeks was too late for many of my friends) you can mix feed.

Of course it's up to you but I absolutely could and can not be bothered faffing with sterilised bottles and formula out and about.

Feed formula - unless there are extenuating circumstances its unlikely to make any difference.

Please don't have more kids

I'm doing this exact thing I dont plan on exclusively BF my 3rd when its born but fed my other 2 just starting to wean the latest off. I dont think my mental health could take it at all the lack of sleep the not being able to do anything. Planning on feeding the 1st couple of weeks then mixing 😊 hope it all goes well for you and ease up on the guilt nobody is perfect

Seriously do what works for you best.
Just because you did one thing for one child doesn't mean you have to do the same thing for the next.
Honestly, be kind to yourself and do what works best.

I breastfed because I'm lazy and hated all the bottle faff. Do what's right for you and you'll all be happy. Hope everything goes well

I had bottle-refusers. It was annoying. I think bottle-feeding is absolutely fine. Babies don't get identical treatment to their older siblings in any other respect, so why stress about this one? Just give your wee one a bottle and don't worry about it too much.

Another mix feeder here - worked brill for us as I too was working a bit so appreciated occasional breaks.

I did 80:20 breast to bottle then when I got to six months v slowly changed that ratio until I was fully bottle feeding.

We introduced a bottle very young (2 weeks) with the support of a very pragmatic midwife who could see my mental health was suffering. As a result babs will take absolutely any bottle or teat offered - totally not fussy.