AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

bobstersmum

I wouldn’t tell someone if I was considering reporting them to SS. That’s a guaranteed route to an argument.

God have people no real sense of risk? The chances of anything happening to the baby are tiny, possibly less than taking the baby outside in a car. there is no massive risk of death. Feelings are not fact no matter how much people squawk.

What if the same happened if you were in the bath or asleep?

As I said in my post, I would have a baby monitor so that, even if the baby was out of sight, I could still hear him or her.

Yes, facts are facts. The police are likely to go by the NSPCC guideline, that babies and toddlers should never be left alone.

Does everyone have a bay monitor on all the time? How long has that been a “thing’?

Does everyone have a bay monitor on all the time? How long has that been a “thing’?

I do for all sleeping children in my care, yes. Ofsted insist on it. If they are not in sight, they must be within hearing. Of course, I cannot speak for "everyone".
I would definitely do so for a young baby.

I used to be a child protection police officer. It's not ok.

I asked if IABU as I'm pretty cautious (for instance, when I'm putting the bins out when DD is in bed and DH isn't home, it's literally three steps into my own front garden, and I still put the door on the latch and carry my keys at face height never taking my eyes off them, as I ditch the bin bag in the bin).

Should we call social services? You’re not watching where you’re going because you’re watching your keys the whole time. If you slip (which doesn’t seem unlikely given you’re not watching where you’re going), you won’t be able to break your fall because you’ve got your keys in one hand at eye level and your bin bags in the other. So you’re way more likely to knock yourself out. And then, when you are locked out, you’ve left your front door on the latch! So any predator can just step over your unconscious body and get into your house to abduct your sleeping baby! I’m extremely concerned.

*knocked out, not locked out

Does everyone have a bay monitor on all the time? How long has that been a “thing’?

With app monitors on your phone, I suspect that it will be increasingly a thing, motion sensor mat and so on. The safety of it is only part of the addiction!

@MorondelaFrontera do you leave your children regularly unattended?

Are you sure she left the baby at home alone? If she did, then I'd agree it's stupid and reckless. But could it be that the father or another relative or friend was there?

Does everyone have a bay monitor on all the time? How long has that been a “thing’?

My eldest is 22. And when he was upstairs asleep during the day I had the monitor downstairs with me.

LJS7
do you leave your children regularly unattended?

By some posters standards, it looks like I do!

@buddytheelf85

Knocked out, maybe. But never ever locked out.

Does everyone have a bay monitor on all the time? How long has that been a “thing’

I recently discovered that almost all the other mothers of babies the same age (11 months) as DS I know have the baby monitor on all night, whereas we just rely on hearing him from the next room (we certainly know he can wake us up, he does it plenty!). Interestingly, the only mother who admitted to not is the one who is on her 'second round' of children - she has children from a first marriage in their late teens - who I've generally noticed is a lot less conscientious/paranoid (depending on your perspective) about safety.

I do have the baby monitor on the whole time he's napping, but that's because you genuinely can't hear him from some of the downstairs rooms.

All the stuff about professionals doing it too just shows that professionals can be negligent parents too.

I don't understand the line about carrying your keys at face height OP?

I think the bottom line here is that this is clearly a first, the mother was explaining her decision which indicates it’s not something she does regularly or felt blasé about. Her DC are otherwise well looked after and cared for as the OP clarified.

Clearly not something that needs reporting to SS for goodness sake.

I think the bottom line here is that this is clearly a first, the mother was explaining her decision which indicates it’s not something she does regularly or felt blasé about. Her DC are otherwise well looked after and cared for as the OP clarified.

The OP doesn’t know the woman well and has no way of knowing how she is coping, as far as I can tell.

@CharityDingle because if they are in my eye-line I can’t possibly lose or forget them. Though could trip and fall to my death, as has been noted.

...and bear in mind the door is also on the latch three steps form the bin. Basically I worry.

Hercule

All-in-all, her kids are clean, they appear well tended to, loved and cared for. I don't have any overriding worries about them and their safety.

The OPs own words....note “I don’t have any overriding worries about them and their safety”.

Just worry about your family and yourself you don't love that baby as much as she does and am sure she regrets it and before getting anyone involved go talk to her you don't want to destroy a family talk to her don't be a b....

Sorry but why didn't she take the baby with her. Yes it was probably needing a nap but if the school so close an extra 10mins awake isn't going to do much harm. Think a missed nap or nap a little bit later is more sensible than leaving it at home.