AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

*precious

My youngest child woke up from a nap on the sofa the other day. I was watching him through the doors into the playroom whilst I was ironing. He woke up and couldn’t see me. I watched for a few seconds while he called “mama” and his face crumpled. I sit here now feeding him and I imagine how he would have felt I’ve I’d not been in the kitchen, the bedroom, the back garden. That he was all alone. His little voice echoing round an empty house nobody coming after one, three, five, ten minutes.

And this is exactly why it isn't right to leave a baby at home alone. Even 'just' 10 minutes is a very long for someone so small. I would always want to be in the house or just outside the door so they can be reassured on waking up.

Dorsetdays

Why do you keep deflecting by focusing on me? If you’re comfortable with what you have said, why do you feel the need to keep engaging with me? Perhaps it’s because you can’t defend your argument?

@herculepoirot2 I'm deflecting @Dorsetdays is deflecting .... perhaps we just don't bloody agree with you?

greenrockstar

I know they don’t. But there are people here who are talking to you - addressing your argument. You are ignoring them to send your misdirected crap my way. It’s getting creepy.

I just think it’s amusing that you keep flouncing off the thread but clearly can’t help yourself checking up on it and keep coming back to leave a comment saying you have nothing else to say. But then little things amuse me 😂

I don’t have to defend any decisions I make as a parent to you. Full stop.

I’ve done this and guess what, nothing happened and I wasn’t reported or arrested, so I don’t have to explain it to anyone else either.

On the other hand I actually can’t fathom that someone would feel physically ill because their child woke up from a nap and they weren’t in the room. Definition of helicopter parent right there!

However that’s up to them, I have not ever had any wish to raise my children like that. When mine woke up from a nap they would quite happily lay in their cots chattering away to themselves for 10 minutes or so until I next checked on them and then I’d be greeted with the biggest smile ever.

Probably because I wasn’t an overly anxious parent, they were relaxed and confident too.

Dorsetdays

Yes, yes, I’m sure we’re all impressed by your light heartedness, Dorset.

No where near as creepy as the amount of time you're on here.

Also I just love your selective reading .... you will not answer the question about what the judges said about the McCanns but you're so certain that a parent leaving child alone for 10 mins would be up in court.

*and I imagine how he would have felt I’ve I’d not been in the kitchen, the bedroom, the back garden. That he was all alone. His little voice echoing round an empty house nobody coming after one, three, five, ten minutes.

I actually feel ill.*

But again, Dorset, you are showing your reading skills in a poor light. Read this again, won’t you?

I’m not the one who’s behaving like a toddler having a tantrum though and stomping off every two minutes only to come creeping straight back. FOMO much?

greenrockstar

Same thing here. Creepy.

Dorsetdays

You’re so focused on me, though, you actually didn’t read what the other poster said and you made a bit of a show of yourself. Again.

@herculepoirot2 the McCanns? Did you miss that bit again? No matter what you say a judge would not be involved for a 10 minute absence.

*My youngest child woke up from a nap on the sofa the other day. I was watching him through the doors into the playroom whilst I was ironing. He woke up and couldn’t see me. I watched for a few seconds while he called “mama” and his face crumpled. I sit here now feeding him and I imagine how he would have felt I’ve I’d not been in the kitchen, the bedroom, the back garden. That he was all alone. His little voice echoing round an empty house nobody coming after one, three, five, ten minutes.

I actually feel ill.*

Yes, of course I did hercule. Perhaps you need to read it again and to help you I've pasted it above.

They felt ill thinking about how their child would feel had they not been in the (cue teeny tiny violin) “kitchen, the bedroom, the back garden. That he was all alone...No one coming for 1,3,5 minutes”

Most babies can perfectly well wake up from a nap and not burst into tears (or should I say face crumpled) because they’re not immediately picked up or are left for 1, 3 or 5 minutes.

Slightly hysterical parenting.

@Dorsetdays you have taken something and turned it into something it isn’t. So I shall explain to you just in case you need some assistance in that department........

My children wake up from naps all the time without me hovering right over them. I just haven’t left them alone in the house becoming increasingly distressed that was my point. Sometimes they wake u grumpy, upset, sometimes happy. But the constant factor is that I am always near them to know this. I am not off buying the ubiquitous loaf at the local shop or performing the legendary school run quicker than Usain Bolt.

You either can’t read and assimilate what I am saying or I’ve hit a nerve. I don’t care, but you’re trying to be smart by being nasty and it hasn’t worked.

If you had actually read some of other point in particular the one about my not fitting greenrockstar helicopter parent paradigm you would know I am in no way an anxious parent. I just happen to have enough common sense, competence and capability to get through my entire day without leaving my baby alone in the house while I actually leave and go somewhere else other then my garden. And that’s that.

You either can’t read and assimilate what I am saying or I’ve hit a nerve. I don’t care, but you’re trying to be smart by being nasty and it hasn’t worked.

This. I really don’t think trying to be smart is working but trying to be nasty seems to be the default plan B.

Yep mine would wake a play in their cot for anything between 5 mins and 40 mins.

No way would mine wake and face crumple within a minute.

Cot mobiles etc are for babies & children to amuse themselves with.

greenrockstar

“No matter what you say...”

Then what is the point in me responding about the McCanns?

Nothing nasty in what I’ve posted. I simply find it hard to comprehend why any parent would feel physically ill at the thought of their child waking up from a nap and being alone for a few minutes.

Perhaps it’s the overly emotive language used, just sounds very dramatic when it’s probably a daily occurance in most households that, hold the front press, baby wakes from nap and parent isn’t immediately there. 🙄

If I felt like that I would have been concerned but that doesn’t mean you have to be if that’s the way you choose to bring up your children. Up to you, but you see that we don’t all have to be the same?

Perhaps it’s the overly emotive language used, just sounds very dramatic when it’s probably a daily occurance in most households that, hold the front press, baby wakes from nap and parent isn’t immediately there. 🙄

How can you still not understand what Gin is saying?

😂😂😂

The point is that you advised a judge would determine the guilt of a parent missing for 20 mins, my point is that is bollocks as a high profile case like the McCanns that didn't happen.

Yours in dramatic speculation the other is fact.

That's the relevance.

greenrockstar

Maybe the reason I don’t want to answer you is that I think your use of the McCanns to justify leaving a child alone is a) fucking idiotic and b) fucking disgusting?

They did not “get away with it”. No judge endorsed their decision. They just felt a very human pity for people who made a CATASTROPHIC DECISION to leave their child alone and paid the ultimate price.

You seem to have forgotten that their child hasn’t been seen for ten years and - if there is a god in heaven - was probably killed the night they left her alone.

Pathetic.

Secondarily, of course, that was in Portugal and I am talking about the UK.

@greenrockstar yes of course mine do / have sometimes too. And you know this because you are present. ie at home somewhere with them.

Do you see my point?

You yourself have already said you have never actually left your children at home alone
You’ve shared yes you’ve been in the garden and if I recall alluding to the peril bring just as great as it you’d actually left your home completely. But it must not really be because you’ve never left them at home alone alone right? Because being in the garden when they’re in the playroom : asleep in their cot isn’t technically leaving them is it. But you are happy to potter in the garden.

Nobody has ever been arrested for doing the gardening while their toddler played inside for fifteen minutes but they certainly have been for leaving far older children at home alone for such a time. Perhaps not convicted but certainly in the past there have been arrests.

Fully understand thanks. My children were content to play in their cots so they wouldn’t get ‘increasingly distressed’ if left alone for 1,3,5 minutes as they were pretty chilled babies, perhaps because I wasn’t myself overly anxious