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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

999 replies

NotMyUsualNameNoSiree · 06/06/2019 12:55

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

OP posts:
Dorsetdays · 10/06/2019 14:29

Checked. But how is that different when the baby is out of your hearing for the same length of time?

Doesn’t matter whether you’re ‘pottering’ at home. You still can’t hear them and therefore they will be left alone for 5-10 mins before you might check on them again.

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 14:31

Alone is alone.... exactly it makes no difference. The difference is in people's perception but actually they are both exactly the same.

Baby A was alone in her cot whilst DM was in the garden for 15 mins painting the fence

And

Baby B was alone in her cot whilst DM was on school run for 10 mins

Which baby was alone the longest?

Which baby was most likely to suffer SIDs?

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 14:31

You people can't actually be serious Grin

I'm off on the school run now anyway.

My baby is coming with me because I can cross roads competently and am a responsible parent.

Yay me.

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 14:32

Both @checkeredredshorts and @herculepoirot2 cannot answer the question ....

How can you have different types of "alones"

herculepoirot2 · 10/06/2019 14:34

checkeredredshorts

OR you could walk out of the house and just... fucking leave them. Who knew?!

😂😂😂

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 14:35

@herculepoirot2 you can leave them for a few minutes and not be helicoptering. Helicopter parents are not necessarily good ones.

herculepoirot2 · 10/06/2019 14:37

greenrockstar

No danger of you helicoptering, green, unless you fancy a quick day trip to Bath or something. I’m sure mini green will be alright on his/her own. Leave a crust of bread in the cot, though, yes?

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 14:40

I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a helicopter parent.

But I don't believe in leaving babies at home alone. The kind of alone which is actually alone. You know where the parent isn't even at fucking home!
Not alone in the next room or alone in their bedroom.
Completely alone.

Dorsetdays · 10/06/2019 14:41

Hercule. Thought you’d gone 🙄

You’re just being silly now, where has anyone said anything of the sort? Or are you having to resort to making things up as you have nothing else to add

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 14:42

It was said somewhere up thread.

Has anybody heard of Madeleine McCann.

herculepoirot2 · 10/06/2019 14:43

Dorsetdays

I do have a tendency to get a little silly when confronted with this sort of obtuseness. Oh well.

Dorsetdays · 10/06/2019 14:43

Checked. Still not answered the question though, why is it ok to leave your baby alone for 10 minutes when you can’t hear them just because you’re in your back garden but not ok when you’re the same distance away, still can’t hear them, but out the front of your house...

There is no logical, rational answer.

Dorsetdays · 10/06/2019 14:44

Checked. MM was a slightly different scenario to the one being discussed here but if we’re going down that road...has anyone heard about the little girl who was taken out of the bath whilst her entire family were at home?

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 14:45

@herculepoirot2 as I've said before and you don't read or listen I do not have small children, they're grown up. Into perfectly rounded and capable adults.

I'm not sure the cryptic message about bath is supposed to be saying but a lot of your messages are difficult to understand.

What I can tell you though is that u would never when they were small have had the time or including action to spend such a large amount of my day in MN or the equivalent. I would've been playing or out with them or groups or whatever. Unless of course they were asleep and in cost etc.

How you can be professional your way of parenting as better than others is beyond me. I personally think it's dreadful. Maybe the mother the OP is talking about may make that wrong judgement call but then plays etc more with her child when they are awake.

You spend far too much time on MN, just because that's a few seconds away from your child is irrelevant. Your child needs more than just being watched over, they need socialising, stimulation and being taught how to do things.

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 14:48

Why is MM different?

herculepoirot2 · 10/06/2019 14:48

greenrockstar

😂😂😂

You are actually hilarious.

As an aside, read that back and tell me again that my posts are hard to understand. Perhaps they are hard for YOU to understand, but that may be a quite different problem...

dontfollowmeimlosttoo · 10/06/2019 14:49

Phone your local safeguarding and inform them

Dorsetdays · 10/06/2019 14:54

Checked. You really need to ask? 🙄

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 14:55

I'm not hilarious @herculepoirot2 but my observations are correct, far too much time this thread. Step away and accept that people are different!

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 14:57

She was left alone in a holiday home without supervision.

Babies talked about in this thread are left home alone without supervision.

What's different?

That's the bare bones of it.

herculepoirot2 · 10/06/2019 14:58

greenrockstar

You are criticising me as a deflection technique, green. It’s a bit desperate but crack on. Whatever allows you to feel like you’re on top.

Bluntness100 · 10/06/2019 14:59

I haven't read this whole thing but I'm beyond shocked that some people ate tying to argue it is acceptable to leave a four month old baby alone in a house whilst you go a couple of streets away to pick up your other kids.

It's not acceptable. Itis not the same as going to thr loo or having a shower, or going to thr end of your garden, most folks if out of ear shot, but in the vicinity would have a baby monitor.

You don't leave infants alone and fuck off out of it. That's it in a nutshell..

checkeredredshorts · 10/06/2019 15:00

Bluntness

Welcome to a parallel universe where apparently this is acceptable!

greenrockstar · 10/06/2019 15:07

@herculepoirot2 I'm not the only one that's mentioned the amount of time you're on here. Honestly if you were a fifteen year old being allowed this long on SM everyone would be saying it was wrong. You've been on this for hours, a 15 year old would've had their phone etc confiscated by now, because they surely must have other stuff to do.

I'm off again now for a while, you know things to do!

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 10/06/2019 15:09

@Dorsetdays she was ten minutes away from her baby who was in her house in her own that entire time. And she wasn’t in her house or out the front she’d walked one to two minutes to a school. I couldn’t hear if one of my babies had been crying two minutes walk away from my house unless I was one of characters from x men and I’m not. Neither is this woman. Or any of us.

No she’s absolutely fucking useless to her baby.

You are being silly trying to dissect the time and distance really here. It’s like you’ve borrowed a spade and are digging.

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