AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

No the mum wasn’t 10 minutes away. Read the OP, she was 1-2 minutes away but the round trip would take 5-10 mins. So total time away from baby was 5-10 minutes not 20 as you’re trying to make out.

And no I wouldn’t be able to hear a house fire starting when I’m in the shower. Or a burglar trying not to be heard when I’m down the garden hanging washing out either.

Surely you've lost an argument when you resort to calling other posters thick?

I think the leave-the-baby-at-home case is partly that it's better for the baby to be left asleep at home, rather than woken up and taken on the school run. It may be at greater risk of death and destruction taken across busy roads, and near badly-driving parents who can't reverse their cars than it would be dreaming sweetly in its cot.

Then idiots who can't cross a road need to scrub up on their green cross code.

That is no reason to leave a baby unattended at home.

Neither is not wanting to disturb them.

FiddlesticksAkimbo

No, it isn’t. Because you can be sleeping sweetly in your cot and die of smoke inhalation, or be taken by an opportunistic burglar. Those risks are tiny, just as the risk of someone reversing into you is tiny. The crucial difference is the presence of a parent to take action on behalf of the child.

Dorsetdays

She was 10 minutes away from being with the baby. 1-2 minutes of that time was walking each way. The other 6 minutes was also non-negotiable: collecting the other child from school.

This is very easy stuff.

Sometimes a baby might cry for a minute or so, you might not immediately hear because of the hoover or being in the garden, if happens and it won't harm your baby to cry for a little bit, but you are still present at the same address and are damn sight more likely to realise you are needed sooner than if you have fucked off to school.

But if you're out of earshot you're out of earshot and if you're mowing the lawn or gardening you won't be checking every few minutes. You'll check every 15 mins or so? So you wouldn't be aware of an issue until you checked regardless of where you are.

She was 10 minutes away from being with the baby. 1-2 minutes of that time was walking each way

so 1-2 minutes away basically.

good grief.

Vulpine

If I have lost this argument I am a monkey’s uncle, the other ‘side’ in this debate having been guilty, variously, of an almost complete absence of logic, circling back on themselves, non sequiturs and a seeming inability to read plain English.

Hope this helps people who think they can't take a baby on the school run due to crossing roads.

Your maths isn’t the best 🥴. She was 1-2 mins walk away which makes 2-4 mins round trip plus DC running out which the OP clearly stated meant she would have been out of the house for up to 10 mins total

NOT 10 mins away from the house which would mean min 20 min round trip plus pickup.

This is very easy stuff...

But if you're out of earshot you're out of earshot and if you're mowing the lawn or gardening you won't be checking every few minutes. You'll check every 15 mins or so? So you wouldn't be aware of an issue until you checked regardless of where you are.

Me personally?

I wouldn't go off and do something noisy and not check if there was any crying for ages. Only takes a second to stick your head round the door

Dorsetdays

You really must be taking the piss now.

Absence of logic hercule? Correct there is because you still haven’t explained what the difference is between the situations being described.

I suspect because there isn’t a logical answer, as fiddlesticks highlighted earlier.

Checked. What’s your definition of ages? Do you check on your child every 5 minutes when they take a nap?

Correct there is because you still haven’t explained what the difference is between the situations being described.

😂😂😂

It’s like debating with a cheese sandwich. I give up.

There have been plenty of good explanations Dorset. They just seem to be being ignored and dismissed?

So that will be at least the 4th time you’ve flounced off the thread. Wonder what the odds are on you coming back? 🤔

Just repeating “I’ve explained”, when you haven’t, doesn’t validate your point.

Dorset

If I'm sat in the house watching tv I wouldn't keep checking because I'd hear them wake up.

If I was out the back mowing the lawn I would stop and put my head round the door frequently so they weren't left awake and crying. So yes probably 5 minutes or so.

There you have it. The difference between being in or around the house. And not present at all to even be able to check.

I wouldn't go off and do something noisy and not check if there was any crying for ages. Only takes a second to stick your head round the door

Maybe not, but I'd call that OTT. Me as stated previously I painted the garden fence whilst my children were in the house sleeping. They used to nap for 40 mins I knew a panel took me 30 mins. I maybe popped in half way through so 15 mins. Less than the time the person in question was away.

I accept that sone people would say "oh what dreadful bad luck the parent was in the garden" and to the person doing the school run "oh they invited trouble by leaving the baby" but ultimately the situation is the same. The child was "alone".

SIDS can happen to anyone whilst they are asleep, in the shower, the garden, on the phone etc.---- The "illness" knows no difference to location of missing parent and being further away for 10 mins will not cause it.

Checked. No there haven’t. The example given is that the baby is left alone for 5-10 mins in either situation, the parent isn’t within ear shot (either due to monitor not working or other noise which would cancel out a monitor).

The risk is the same.

Just repeating “I’ve explained”, when you haven’t, doesn’t validate your point.

I don’t think you are capable of understanding the explanation, Dorset, seeing as it has been given to you again and again and again and you are still like “I don’t get it.”

Sorry you struggle.

But that's still not reason to leave a baby at home alone, just because risk doesn't know the parents location

Good lord. The baby is ‘alone’ for the same amount of time in both situations....

Hercule. Damn, should have put a bet on you coming back for the fifth time 😂

There is alone in a room while a parent is pottering around the house or garden.

And there is alone, just alone.

Dorsetdays

Feel free. Just don’t try for anything more complicated, like reading.