AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

*Who can possibly think sarcasm about a dead baby is appropriate on a parenting forum no less?

And these are the posters who think they know best and can judge a parent and call them neglectful. This is getting beyond nasty now.*

Agreed sarcasm and dead babies do not deserve to be put together EVER!

Who can possibly think sarcasm about a dead baby is appropriate on a parenting forum no less?

A dead baby is a possibility when babies are neglected. The sarcasm reflects the disbelief that anyone would take that risk.

greenrockstar

Rational or not, I can read, green.

@herculepoirot2 the baby wasn't neglected ... it was left for 10 mins and your last post makes no sense whatsoever!

greenrockstar

No, it was neglected, and yes, my post makes sense. The meaning of MrMaker’s post could not have been more obvious.

*greenrockstar

Rational or not, I can read, green.*

What fucking sense does that make then.....?

greenrockstar
At that point, I would ignore the comments that are turning nasty, it's not about expressing an opinion anymore - however barmy it was - it 's scoring points cheaply and you are right, they are no longer rational.

At that level, they don't deserve an answer anymore, they are showing who they are.

greenrockstar

It means I may be irrational, but at least I can read. Again, you are undermining your case that you can read by suggesting that my comment made no sense. It may have made little sense to you, but that does not mean it made no sense.

@MorondelaFrontera I agree, I'm stepping away it's beyond vile now.

Thank you

MorondelaFrontera

Green directly insulted me. If I am no longer being pleasant, it is in response.

@herculepoirot2 I feel like they are perhaps the same poster on 2 accounts. I don't understand the comprehension issue myself.

But before I go....

There has never been advice to go for a walk around the block. Get some fresh air - yes. Go in the garden - yes. Both are considered preferable to losing your rag with an baby. But not go out for ten minutes and leave the baby alone.*

The baby is alone if you're in the garden or in the next city, the stupidity of thinking it makes a difference is beyond belief... my baby is safe if I'm in the garden but not if I'm up the road.

I think people are missing the issue here. It is really odd to leave a 4 month old baby alone. Makes me question attachment, does mum have PND, is she coping. I don't understand why it is more important to protect the mother from a bit of embarrassment and the opportunity for support to be given than to protect a child from possible harm. It is everyone's duty to protect children from harm. They are the most vulnerable. OP please refer this to the school or social services. If there are no other concerns it will do no harm but may help a vulnerable family.

@MrMakersFartyParty dream on that's you know you were bang out of order!

Mumsnet please confirm no sock puppet if is going on.

Just two like minded posters thinking dead babies and sarcasm is vile!!

Go in the garden - yes.

is especially a great advice for someone stuck on the upper levels of an intercity tower
because you know, only wealthy parents with houses and gardens can possibly struggle with a screaming baby and need help.

Show the wisdom of the comments

It really is beyond barking that anyone would be so devastated by talk about dead babies that they had to leave the thread, but perfectly willing to defend and justify babies being left in the house alone. It’s bizarre.

MorondelaFrontera

So what do you suggest? Leaving the baby on the upper level of an inner city tower and going out?

@herculepoirot2 it's beyond barking that you committed so much time on your life to this thread....

greenrockstar

OP it your responsibility is to SHARE this information with the local safeguarding hub, either directly or via the school, who will investigate, that is their responsibility, they alone will be decide what to do with this information....what would happen if there was a fire in the house whilst the parent is out.

MissMolly

I totally agree.

But it seems there are plenty of people who think this is perfectly ok because it would take the same amount of time as doing household chores that would take you away from the baby

Leaving a warm, well - nourished, sleeping baby alone in a high quality crib for 10 minutes, once, is not 'neglect'. It just isn't.

It's a judgment call, and if something were to happen it would be deemed a poor judgement call.
We risk assess constantly. The mother's, perhaps unconscious mental process would be something like

"I've lived in this house for a thousand days. On those other thousand days it hasn't caught fire at 3pm, or any other time and I see no increased risk of it happening today. I have never had an accident or been delayed previously on my way home from school pick up. My child has seemed healthy and well today, and I know their wellbeing will maintained by an uninterrupted nap. This house has never been broken into and I know of no child abductors at large in the local community at this time. I'll risk it. "

If (god forbid) something had happened to her child, I doubt a court would convict on basis of neglect. It would be one of those instances where they say the parent having to live with the results of their decision is punishment enough.

If (god forbid) something had happened to her child, I doubt a court would convict on basis of neglect. It would be one of those instances where they say the parent having to live with the results of their decision is punishment enough.

Hardly a ringing endorsement.

But I suspect you are wrong anyway. Plenty of people convicted in similar circumstances.

Plenty of people convicted in similar circumstances.

please show us the evidence to back up that statement.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11498123/Arrests-for-leaving-kids-home-alone-made-every-day.html

Note the point made at the bottom: although the law suggests that it is a matter for parental judgment, in actual fact, it isn’t, because police and SS will ultimately make the judgment about whether to refer for prosecution.