AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

AloneLonelyLoner

Appalling behaviour is leaving your baby alone in the house and going out on an errand. Reporting neglect is the responsible thing to do. I could not give one shiny shite whether anyone else disagrees. I know it is the right thing to do.

herculepoirot2
you are wrong, and we've already explained to you many times why.

And frankly, it sounds like there are a few people on this thread who need to think again about the standard of “normal” parenting. As I said before, I have NEVER come across a parent who has admitted leaving their child alone in the house, or even considering doing so. If they are doing so, they are doing so very quietly, and there is probably good reason for that: they know it is bang out of order.

MorondelaFrontera

Goodnight.

I have NEVER come across a parent who has admitted leaving their child alone in the house, or even considering doing so.

with your busybody attitude, I wonder why that can be

Hercule. Wrong in your opinion, not in many others. Fortunately, you don’t get to decide what is good parenting for other people.

Forgive me, everyone, for intervening at this late stage.....but is the poster herculepoirot2 saying she would report this kind of thing because she thinks that Social Services/Police/School/Whoever can make their own decisions about the behaviour, and she has no further responsibility beyond that?
If that is what is being said, (and there are so many posts on this thread that I may have missed something), then I think it is reasonable to ask herculepoirot2 what she herself thinks they ought to do?

Dorsetdays

You are absolutely right, which is why I would report this to those in that position, so this would be less likely to keep happening. As I have said, if I am wrong, SS would be free to ignore me.

OnlyaMan

I am here. You can ask me what I am saying, rather than others.

@MorondelaFrontera I have NEVER come across a parent who has admitted leaving their child alone in the house, or even considering doing so.

with your busybody attitude, I wonder why that can be

😂😂 true this. The FSB have job openings. I hope @herculepoirot2 sends in a CV.

Oh sorry herculepoirot2 we thought you left

Lots of very defensive people here.

And lots of offensive people here.

no, lots of posters - and lots of PARENTS even - who do not agree at all with you.

There’s always that one parent in the school playground isn’t there who thinks they’re parent of the year and has the right to judge everyone else and impart their ‘wisdom’ to all and sundry

Meanwhile everyone’s just quietly rolling their eyes whenever they’re around, avoiding eye contact and hoping they don’t come and stand next to them 😂

To those people piling on because “it’s fine and a parenting choice” can I ask you this: when you did this, did you publicise it? Did you tell friends and put it on Facebook and mention it to your mum? Or did you sneak out and keep it very much to yourself?

Hercule. I’ve certainly discussed it with friends yes, just like we’ve talked about pretty much every aspect of bringing up our DC and found we all have differing ideas and opinions on much of it but none of us have ever felt the need to report each other to SS and guess what, all our DC are very much still alive and thriving 👍🏻

Sorry if that doesn’t quite fit your narrative but I’m able to do that because my friends aren’t a judgemental bunch of twats which is why they’re my friends.

Dorsetdays

I think you just called me a twat for wanting to make sure children aren’t neglected. There’s irony for you.

Anyway, I am going to bed. A bit sad and disappointed that people can be like this, but off to sleep.

herculepoirot2
you are being ridiculous, honestly.

I know it's not a popular opinion, but I genuinely don't believe it's safe to leave a baby unattended alone in the garden. We have cats, foxes, I had a couple of occasions when escaped dogs ended up in my garden. It's rare, but I personally couldn't risk it and wouldn't even nip to the loo leaving my baby.

If I believe my nursery was not a safe environment for my 4 months old, I wouldn't put him there ever! So no, I don't think there's any more risk to leave a baby sleeping when I cross the road or would walk 1 or 2 minutes to school, not anymore than me having a shower (which can take awhile), sleep at night, go in the garden to hang the laundry and so on.

So whilst I didn't leave my own baby for the school pick up, I didn't think to post on FB that I left him or her alone whilst I was having a poo, taking the bins out or rummaging in the garage.

I can't imagine anyone needing to report abuse or neglect for doing so, how ridiculous does it sound!

Doubt it is illegal. Law is that illegal to leave a child if there is a known risk of harm eg toddler and unguarded fire, openstair no handrail. Do we ever leave a 4 month old either sleeping in a car seat after a journey and taken into a quiet room, leave them asleep in their whatever kind of bed in another room. I doubt very much most parents ensure a 4 month old when asleep is always within sight. Even in same room at night do parents not go to sleep themselves? Of course anything drastic can happen and you wouldn't be aware as you would be asleep. Only if a baby makes a noise to waken you would you be alerted. Leaving the child for your estimate for 10 mins isn't awful and surely you have seen her at the school at other times with the mother, this incident being due to her just going off to sleep. Life is full of risks. You can trip going down a step to the bin, bang your head, die of head injury all in 30 seconds. The mother has probably weighed up the risk on this occasion. Concern should be if the baby is always left on its own.

It is totally unacceptable to leave babies and small children alone.

Mine were never alone until they were about twelve or so - just to be on the safe side.

@Teacher22. So you took your 11 year old into the bathroom with you if you needed the toilet or a shower and no other parent around?

You made them come out into the garden with you whilst you did some weeding or hung the washing out?

They weren’t allowed to be in their bedroom on their own playing, reading or just relaxing until they were 12?

😳

Yes, of course I followed my twelve year olds into the bathroom and wiped their botties. I never did any weeding for a decade.

Or, in other words, avoid misinterpretation for effect. It’s just silly.

Teacher. What’s silly is not RTFT and understanding that what is being said is how are any of those things different to the situation OP described?

Essentially they aren’t, either time wise or risk wise.

Mine were never alone until they were about twelve or so - just to be on the safe side.

So at senior school you took them to school and collected them?