To insist DS has closed toe sandals this year?

[NoTheyAreNotTeenagers]

He's 9. And will not go sockless. He refuses to go anywhere without socks on unless it's the swimming pool. I have managed to persuade him to wear the short trainer style socks when he is wearing shorts. AIBU to suggest I get him some closed toe sandals this year so it's not so obvious he's wearing socks?

You'd tell him that he might be laughed at? Don't do that!! Why is that a good thing to do?

Only adults teaching children that socks and sandals is a no-no, makes it something that kids will laugh at.

As with everything, talk about the issue but let the final choice lie with the child. Pick your battles

You'd tell him that he might be laughed at? Don't do that!! Why is that a good thing to do?

Because informed decisions are good. I don't let me kids risk social embarrassment that I can easily foresee, even if they can't. I bring my kids up not to laugh at other people, but other people clearly don't, thus the mockery of little boys who bring pink things to school.

*my kids risk social embarrassment unwarned

Aw I would let him wear socks and sandals it's probably comfier for him. This has made me laugh though my 7 year old daughter makes some awful choices, couple of days ago she came through with black tights and bright orange sandals on. In the rain. I drew the line.

My kids have never been laughed at for what they wore before about the age if 13 when everything is laughed at.
I personally think it's more likely your kids will be the ones doing the laughing if you tell them that's a thing that happens (At 9)

Plus he always wears odd socks

Where I live this is a fashion statement too. .

My son wears socks with sandals sometimes and definitely wears socks with trainers. He's nearly 12.

I remember as a child we were flooded with Brits who migrated out. Once at a BBQ someone’s dad invited someone new from work to join in. Of course we all (adults and children) wore thongs as regular weekend footwear and especially to a BBQ. They arrived in sandals and socks. Cue every kid at the BBQ standing there staring gobsmacked at these people wondering what the fuck was on their feet. Needless to say we were all marched into the house on some pretext. This gave the adult who marched us in the privacy to engage in fits of laughter they had obviously been holding in. When semi-composed and while wiping away the tears they gave us the speech about how people were different and it was rude to stare. So we all trooped back outside and continued to stare at their feet for the rest of the afternoon. As children we were so entranced and confused. Irrespective of ‘the talk’ we couldn’t help it.

This is exactly the same reaction everyone still has if they see anyone in socks and sandals (apart from current youngsters as part of a new craze but that’s more slides). We’re just all more subtle about it now and pretend we don’t see it or there is nothing wrong but on the inside we are still thinking what the fuck/ why/ how confusing that someone would think it normal or acceptable. Outwardly we compose a straight face and smile.

Kids definitely point and laugh from a young age. I hate that they do it, but there is no point pretending they don't.

Whether little boys care about socks is another matter - I don't think it would be a big deal.

really OP?

I let my kids go into town with socks in crocs, even as teens. In too short tracky bots that they feel comfy in.

They were already at secondary school, and they just care for comfort and do not care what others think about their "style"

It was hard to watch at times, my kids looking so badly dressed, but I did let them decide for themselves

They did not get bullied, by the way, a friend of mine described my oldest as "being so terribly uncool you come out at the other side being cool again." in DS words: "i am a geek, and I hang out with other geeks, and geeks do not care about fashion, and life is not a fashion show"

let him choose OP

Oh let him wear what he wants! He'll soon stop if his friends laugh at him.

Do people really think that children of 9 can be forced to wear clothes they don't want to? There'll be an element of compromise, of course, ie weather appropriate, school uniform, but otherwise why can't they chose themselves? My kids will only wear sports gear. Tracksuit bottoms, football kits etc. Not my preference, but if that what makes them happy then why not? Oh and my 7yo always wears odd socks

My dd won't wear shoes without socks. She wears trainers all summer. If her feet get hot that's her problem!

I always secretly liked the hiking socks and walking sandals that my German friends pulled off.

Good luck getting hold of closed toe sandals anyway. They are acceptable on the DCs school uniform but I can never find anything compatible.

Life is too short to constantly veto my DC's sartorial choices. With hindsight, one is very sensory anyway, but I didn't know that back in the toddler days when I was physically wrestling dungarees on to him. All it suceeded in was wasting a lot of time and emotional energy for both of us. If it's an issue of safety e.g. dressing to temperature, I provide what they need as back up. I have long since accepted that my 8 yo has failed to get hypothermia by sledging in his shorts, so as long as he has access to the means to warm his legs, my maternal duty is fulfilled, because quite frankly he is far too big and strong to risk injury by physically insisting he wears trousers. If it's an issue of dress code, such as school uniform, he knows the consequences of not conforming. For a formal event like a wedding, he has shirts that are acceptable to his taste and age group and I insist on selected pairs of smarter shorts.
Socks, I have no energy left to be concerned about.

Congratulations to anyone with a school age child who is malleable enough to wear what they are told. At this stage, most of my veto is applied in the shop. Once it is in the wardrobe, it tends to be fair game.

Sock and sandals are fine. Don't see a problem.

Socks

notlikely
I dont agree wearing what you want - as long as appropriate or within budget - is about entitled children. It is good that children are allowed to choose their clothes far more these days than in the past.

My parents made me wear all sorts of shit. Even in secondary school. I already had very fragile self esteem and it really affected my mental health.

Wearing what you choose and having your opinions valued is very much enmeshed with identity and helps a child with confidence in every area. It helps them for example to communicate effectively with adults. My dd at 10 can walk into a shop and ask an assistant for something, ditto a restaurant. This is a skill and one, which I didn’t have until well into adulthood.

Dd went through some dubious clothing choices before she reached 10. The only rule I have always had with dd was wearing appropriate attire when going out to something like a wedding or a meal.

On the subject of odd socks, have you ever seen the company United Oddsocks?

They sell non-matching pairs of socks to wear as fashion statements. unitedoddsocks.com/product-category/boys/

Also although he is 9 it doesn't mean he has to obey to everything. He isn't 3 but 9.

Hang on, so you’re willing to persuade him to change the type of socks he wears, but you’re not sure if it’s ok to tell him what shoes he can wear?! Buy the shoes. He either wears them or he doesn’t. Unless you’re intending on several hundred pairs of shoes (which is absurd for a small child who will grow out of them very shortly) then surely he has only a few pairs to choose from and you just don’t buy ones you don’t want?

But what do I know. My daughter will be wearing socks with her sandals!

@Tawdrylocalbrouhaha

"Kids definitely point and laugh from a young age. I hate that they do it, but there is no point pretending they don't."

As long as the child is making the choice themselves to dress that way, then they can then decide if the possible mickey taking is worth it. If the child is being forced to wear something, and they get laughed at, that's a different matter.

Every time my in-laws have my DC overnight in the summer they comeback in their short and sandals with socks on pulled up to the calf, like grandad.

My son has worn odd shoes on a rare occasion. It's not a fashion statement at all.....he just can't be bothered finding the other one. I just let him be - I'm happy he has the confidence to do that.

Why does it matter? It's only a pair of socks.

HighsandLows77 he had something similar to these in mid-grey and orange last year.

I was thinking something more in the style of the green one. He's a size 6 (eu39) and so far his only request is that the sandals have a fish on them